we had discoursed in this manner for some time, he then told me that he had heard it said the Government was going to reduce all things that could be well spared.
‘In a sense, Sir John,’ said I, ‘nothing can be more plausible; but they cannot reduce the establishments without making so many people poorer and obliging them to reduce their establishments, thereby spreading distress and privation wider. It is not a time to reduce public appointments when there is national distress; the proper season is when all is green and flourishing.’
‘Very true,’ replied Sir John; ‘it would seem that the best time of providing for those who must be discharged when governments reduce their appointments, is when new employments are easy to be had; but things at present look not very comfortable in that way, and therefore I am grieved to hear that the distemper of making saving to the general state at the expense of casting individuals into poverty, has infected the Government. In truth, Mr. Jobbry, this intelligence has distressed me quite as much as a change of administration would; for a change of administration does not make actual distress, inasmuch as the new ministers always create, in redeeming their pledges, a certain number of new places, and commonly indemnify for those they abolish; but a mere system of economising – of lessening expenditure during a period of general hardship – is paving the way to revolution; and accordingly, as I am too old now to take a part in so busy a scene, I intend to retire at the close of the present Parliament.’
‘And,’ quo’ I, ‘have you arranged yet for your successor in Easyborough?’
‘Not yet,’ said he; ‘for, to tell you the truth, that’s the chief object that has brought me to town. I have sat for six Parliaments for the borough, and it has never cost me any thing; and I know that whoever I recommend will be received with a strong feeling of good-will, which makes me a little chary on the subject; for I would not like to recommend to them a man that was not deserving of their confidence.’
‘That’s very creditable to you, Sir John; but I should think that they would be right willing to accept your son.’
‘True, Mr. Jobbry, I have no doubt they would accept very willingly my son; but I am not sure that he is just the man fit for them; for though he is a young man of good parts, he has got too many philosophical crotchets about the rules and principles of government, to be what in my old-fashioned notions I think a useful English legislator. He’s honest and he’s firm, but honesty and firmness are not enough; there is a kind of consideration that folly is entitled to, that honesty and firmness will not grant. I don’t know, Mr. Jobbry, if I make you understand me; but as the object of all political power is to make people happy, the right sort of member for Easyborough is a person well advanced in life, and of more good-nature in his humours than rigid righteousness in his principles. My son would do better, and would be a good member for a patriotic community; but the orderly and sober-minded inhabitants of Easyborough require a man of a different character.’
‘And have you found nobody yet, Sir John, that you would recommend?’
‘No,’ says he, ‘no.’
‘I wish,’ quo’ I, ‘that you would think well of me; for I would fain make an exchange for Frailtown; could not you let your son and me make an arrangement for an exchange?’
‘No,’ said Sir John; ‘because I could not recommend you to Easyborough.’
I felt the blood rush into my face at this very plain dealing; and, just to be as plain, said,
‘What’s your objection, Sir John?’
‘Nothing to you as a man, Mr. Jobbry, for I think you both shrewd and clever; but because you have not yet got right notions of what belongs to the public; you take too close and personal an interest for your own sake in your borough. Now that does not consort with my notions – my constituents have never cost me a guinea, and they have never asked me for a favour – a constituency of that kind would not suit you, Mr. Jobbry.’
Soon after this point of conversation, I bade him good morning, and came away; but what he said made a deep impression, and I was really displeased at his opinion of me, which led me to adopt the resolutions and line of conduct that will be described in the next chapter. But the House of Commons, it is well known, is a school of ill manners; and a long sederunt as a member does not tend to mitigate plain speaking.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A man who observes sharply, as I have been in the practice of doing all my reasonable life, will not be long in Parliament till he has full occupation for his faculties. It is a place not just like the world, but is, in fact, a community made up of a peculiar people, and the members are more unlike to one another than the generality of mankind, and have upon them, besides, a stamp and impress of character that makes them as visibly a distinct race in the world, as the marking of sheep distinguishes one flock from another at tryst or market.
This diversity, in my opinion, proceeds from two causes; the one is, that every thing a member says in the House is received as truth; and thus it happens when an orator is under an obligation, either from friendship or party spirit, to blink the veracity of his subject, he is put to a necessity of using roundabout words, that feed the ear and yet cheat the mind in the sense; and this begets a formality of language that really makes some Members of Parliament very quiscus and unsatisfactory to have business to do with. The other cause comes from the reverse of this, inasmuch as there is no restraint but a man’s own discretion, in what he states; and as all men are not alike gifted with that blessing, a Parliament fool is far more remarkable than a weak man out of doors; and thus it is, that honourable members have, in addition to their worldly character, a parliamentary character; but some put on the parliamentary character, not having those habits by which it is induced; and these, to any observant man are really very amusing and ridiculous: they are, for the most part, the silent voters on both sides of the House; chiefly, however, of the Government thick-and-thinners.
When I had, to my perfect satisfaction, ascertained the accuracy of this opinion, I came to a resolution that begat me in time a very sedate and respectable reputation. Several times, during my first session, I had a mind to speak; and, really, there were speeches spoken which were most instigating to me to hear, and provoking me to reply; but, somehow, my heart failed, and the session passed over without my getting up. This at the time was not very satisfactory to myself, and I daresay if the session had continued a little longer, I might have been so bold as to utter a few words: but during the recess I had a consultation with myself relative to my habits and abilities; and I came in consequence to a resolution, that, as I was not sure of possessing the talent of eloquence, never having tried it, I should not, without a necessity, make the endeavour, – a resolution which I have had great reason to rejoice in, because, in the second session, various questions were debated, that, if I had possessed a disposition to speak, I would have expressed myself in a manner that might not have been applauded by the public. My silence, therefore, enabled me to escape animadversion; and I was protected also from acquiring any of that parliamentary character, as to the choice of terms, to which I have been alluding. Thank Heaven! I have had gumption enough left to avoid assuming it; for verily it is a droll thing to hear men that are everlasting silent ciphers in the House, speaking (when you meet with them at dinner) across the table as if they were the very ora rotundas of the Treasury bench.
I had another advantage in resolving to be only a vote – and that was, it committed me upon but few questions; by which I was left free to do as I pleased with ministers, in case a change should take place between the two sides of the House. In all the regular business of Government, my loyalty and principles led me to uphold the public service; but on those occasions when the outs and ins amused themselves with a field-day, or a benefit-night rather, I very often did not vote at all, – for I never considered pairing off before the division as fully of the nature of a vote; and several times,
