Dr Hargreaves wondered where she had got to.
***
The captain of Ben’s flight back to Edinburgh had just warned passengers to expect a bumpy landing due to high winds. Ben didn’t care if the plane flew backwards just as long they landed and the sooner the better. An urgency to see Eva consumed him. He needed to speak to her, to hold her. He wanted to hear all about Jamie’s trip. He smiled thinking how happy she would be to have him home.
As the plane began its descent through the thick blanket of grey cloud, Ben reflected on the last two days. It had been busy and painful at times, but now his sense of relief was palpable.
The hardest part had been taking that first step into the house again. The memory of the day he had led his mother out of the house to take her to the care home was as crushingly painful as ever. All the years she had lovingly looked after Ben, now in a cruel reversal of roles it was her trusting him. He didn’t know exactly what her brain was able to compute – it seemed to change every day – but he hoped with all his heart she didn’t realize he was taking her to a place full of strangers to care for her.
The house had looked more or less the same when he walked in. Everything was neat and tidy, but tired and worn-looking. Before the tenants had moved in Ben had decluttered the house, leaving only the large pieces of furniture. He’d taken a few bits and pieces and personal items but everything else was stored in the attic.
He’d walked from room to room and at first the rush of memories had overwhelmed him. But instead of blocking them as he’d done so often in the past, he let them in, remembering all the happy moments of their family life. His dad coming home early from work so they could kick a ball about in the back garden, chatting about their days over mealtimes. Ben’s friends coming over to play – his mother had always been happy to fill the house with his friends, even more so after his dad had died.
He smiled, thinking how his mother would have loved Eva. Loved that she was practical, independent, loving, and caring – those were things that would matter to her.
On a practical level, there had been plenty to do. Arthur had been more than willing to help, driving them to a DIY store where they bought extra security lighting. He’d managed to get an emergency locksmith to upgrade all the locks and a glazier to fix the broken glass.
He’d taken Arthur and Mary out to dinner to a local restaurant – it was the least he could do – and this morning when Arthur had asked him what his plans were, Ben had replied truthfully he didn’t know yet but would very soon. He wanted all his future decisions to involve Eva and he couldn’t wait to get back to her.
From that very first moment he’d met Eva something had pulled him in. Every time they met, he’d wanted more. At first he’d struggled with the knowledge a woman he’d just met could make him feel the way he did. It hadn’t exactly been the best of timings. The end of his relationship, moving, and starting a new job, the last thing he had expected was to find true love. His life with Samantha felt a million years away and he was amazed at how little he thought of her now.
With hindsight he could see what was blatantly obvious: that their relationship was never going to last. He had never given his heart to Samantha, never truly loved her, and he doubted she ever really loved him. In some ways maybe they had both been guilty of deceiving each other, clinging to each other as a means to an end. He hoped Samantha found happiness and if she was really lucky, found someone she loved too. Because Ben now knew he loved Eva with everything he had.
For the past five years Ben’s life had been at a standstill, existing on autopilot in a state of limbo. But now he knew exactly what he wanted, how he wanted his future to be, and was filled with a sense of coming home that he’d never experienced before. To Ben, everything now made sense.
***
Eva chewed her nail and looked out of the window. There was still no sign of Jamie and Hamish. How long had they been? She’d lost track of time but it felt like ages. She turned from the window telling herself not to panic, they would be home soon.
At least both her guests were now settled in their rooms, Dr Hargreaves appearing placated with the food she had provided. In the kitchen she busied herself wiping down already clean surfaces and needlessly moving things about. All she wanted was Jamie and Hamish to come home so they could all be tucked up safely. Not only was she sure she had a nasty cold, but her cut finger was throbbing with pain as well.
She paced back to the window and looked out again, a horrible feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t realized how heavy the rain was or how strong the wind had become. What had she been thinking asking Jamie to go out in this? She had only meant for him to take Hamish along the street for a few minutes. Where were they?
She took a deep breath, willing herself to be calm. But no matter how much she tried to convince herself, she knew they should be home by now. Ben’s driveway was still empty and his house still in darkness. His absence vexed her but she didn’t know why. Part of her longed to rush to him, for him to somehow protect her and make everything all right.
But he didn’t owe her any explanations as to his whereabouts. Just because they’d spent the night together didn’t mean he was responsible for her and Jamie in any way. It didn’t mean he was going to come and rescue her. This was down to her, the way it had always been.
The street was deserted as you’d expect. No sane person would choose to out on a night like this yet she had actually sent her son out into it. She tried to think where Jamie would go, what he would do. Of course! He’d go to Fraser’s house. They’d be there now, engrossed in some game, totally unaware of the time. But even as she dialled the number, she knew Heather would have phoned her if Jamie had turned up at their house. By now the phone was ringing anyway and Douglas answered.
‘I don’t suppose Jamie’s at your house by any chance?’ She thought she probably sounded slightly hysterical.
‘Heather’s at her mother’s house and Fraser’s upstairs,’ Douglas told her.
‘Right, of course.’ Eva bit her lip.
‘Do you want me to come round?’ Douglas offered after Eva explained the situation.
‘No, no. I’m sure he’ll be back any minute.’ Eva hung up, her fear now full on. Her heart was racing and every ‘what if’ scenario was racing through her mind, none of them good.
For some reason the memory of one Halloween came to her when she had been a small girl. She’d been trick or treating with Sarah and someone dressed up as a ghost had jumped out at them, the deathly image terrifying Eva. She had run back to the house and thrown herself into her father’s arms. For those few moments she had felt utterly safe and protected. The memory of her dad holding her and a longing to feel that comfort again was so great it took her breath away. Eva suddenly felt very alone.
***
Ben pulled up in the driveway and instantly knew something was wrong. He saw Eva’s shape illuminated in her doorway, looking like she was about to go out and even from a distance he could tell she was agitated, her body tense. He climbed out of the car and ran over to her.
‘Eva?’
She turned to him, her beautiful face a picture of anguish. ‘I don’t know where Jamie is,’ she sobbed.
‘What do you mean?’
She wiped her hand across her face. ‘The guests arrived earlier. One of
