to the sperm. The antibodies attach to the sperm and impair motility, making it harder for the sperm to penetrate the cervical mucus and therefore fertilise the egg. IVF would have been a relatively simple procedure for you. In your situation there would have been a high chance of success for the two of you.’
‘What?’ Luci couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘We could have had children?’ They could have had the family she’d dreamed of?
‘With IVF assistance, almost certainly,’ Veronica agreed.
‘How?’
‘The sperm would be injected directly into the harvested egg. If the sperm aren’t swimming freely there would have been no opportunity for your body to attack. The antibodies wouldn’t have had a chance to attach to the sperm. With IVF a viable embryo would have been created and it would then have been implanted.’
‘So I can have kids?’ Luci still wasn’t absolutely sure that she was getting the right message. Was that what Veronica was telling her? She held her breath as she waited for the final confirmation.
‘Yes. Either with the right partner or with IVF.’
Luci breathed out as tears welled in her eyes.
‘It’s rare for a woman to produce anti-sperm antibodies so it’s quite likely that with a different partner you wouldn’t have the same issues,’ Veronica went on, but Luci was only half listening. She was still processing the idea that she could have children.
‘But don’t forget, this condition is very successfully overcome with IVF assistance. Identifying this is a good thing.’ Veronica was still speaking. ‘You and Ben may have been incompatible but that doesn’t mean all men will be. And there’s more good news. Your eggs were healthy. You’re young and fertile. You have time. It will happen for you, I’m sure of it.’
‘Thank you.’
Tears spilled out of Luci’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she ended the call. Mixed emotions engulfed her. The news was incredible but it was tinged with anger and regret. Just when she felt she had come to terms with the demise of her marriage to find out that Ben’s betrayal had robbed her of her dream of motherhood was almost too much to bear. When she had thought she couldn’t fall pregnant she’d been able to forgive him for leaving her. She had blamed herself as much as him. But now?
If he had stayed they could have worked this out. With IVF she could have been the one who had just had a baby. She could be a mother now.
She needed to think. She needed a walk to help focus her mind. She changed into a pair of shorts and her sneakers and headed for the beach.
As she walked she realised it was unlikely that her marriage would have survived regardless. They had broken up because of the stress of infertility but Ben had very quickly moved on. If she’d been unable to rely on him to stick by her through that situation she knew she wouldn’t have been able to rely on him for anything else. Quite possibly he would have run for the hills the moment the going had got tough. Quite possibly she would have ended up divorced with a baby.
Would she want to be a single mother?
Yes.
If she could have a baby without a partner she knew she would take that opportunity. She had never imagined herself as a single mother but she knew that if that was her only option she wouldn’t hesitate any more. She still wanted a baby more than anything.
More than she wanted Seb?
Yes. Her heart ached with longing and her womb ached with emptiness. A baby was very much her priority.
She had fallen in love with Seb but planning a future with him had never been realistic and especially not now. He was her second ever boyfriend and she wasn’t even sure she could call him that. They weren’t thinking about the future and he didn’t want commitment. He didn’t want to settle down and she was pretty sure he wasn’t going to want kids.
She would have to break up with him. It was her only option.
She wanted it all but if she couldn’t have it all she was going to choose motherhood, or the possibility of it at least, and if her dream was to become a reality she needed to find the man who could help her to make that happen.
Which meant she needed to break up with Seb.
He was starting his holidays at the end of the week. He was heading off in his boat so their relationship wasn’t going to last any longer than that anyway, no matter what she wished for, so the best thing to do would be to end it now. Quickly and swiftly. Waiting a couple more days wasn’t going to make it any easier. She needed to move on to the rest of her life.
The decision was made. Now all she had to do was tell him.
Telling him would give him the chance to change his mind if he wanted to and she knew she was still hopeful that he would make that choice. Perhaps he would decide that she was worth it.
* * *
The sun was low in the sky as she returned to the apartment. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. Seb.
‘Where are you? Is everything okay?’
He sounded worried but she didn’t think she could put his mind at ease so she opted for a simple reply. ‘I’m almost home. I’ll see you in a minute.’
But Callum’s apartment wasn’t home. And Vickers Hill hadn’t felt like home either.
Luci knew she wouldn’t be going back to Vickers Hill. She’d felt like a fish out of water there. Everyone was settled or, worse, if they weren’t she had known them all her life and she knew she wasn’t going to find the man she was looking for amongst them. She needed new faces. New places. She had no idea where she would go but she knew she wouldn’t go back.
She would need to find somewhere that felt right.
Also, she needed a man, or his sperm at the very least, and a place to live. But one thing at a time. Her first priority was to speak to Seb. She needed to tell him her decision. There was no point delaying. She needed to get on with things. She was a girl with a mission.
* * *
The door to the apartment was open. Seb was waiting for her. He still looked worried. There was a little crease between his eyebrows and his blue eyes were dark with concern. But she almost didn’t notice. It was a hot night and he was dressed only in a pair of shorts. Shirtless and bare-chested, she found it hard to notice anything else.
He looked incredible. She’d almost forgotten how gorgeous he was. She should ask him to put a shirt on, she wasn’t going to be able to concentrate when he was semi-naked, but she resisted. Why deprive herself of her last chance to see him like this? She could use the memory.
He greeted her with a hug. God, that felt good. His arms were strong, his embrace warm, and Luci could have stayed there quite happily for the rest of her life.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said as he let her go. ‘Is anything wrong?’ He ran a thumb under her eye and Luci’s knees buckled slightly at his touch. ‘Have you been crying?’
Her tears had dried long ago but she knew her eyes would still
