the last several years, she worried if she still had what it took.
After the girls helped her shop for some new clothes, she felt superconfident. She definitely would not be taken seriously if she showed up in the same clothes she had worn as a nanny—her nanny family had not even taken her seriously when she showed up in those clothes.
She had selected a basic black pencil skirt, but her newfound curves were amplified in this baby. Even though she had put on a little weight, she actually liked the result and could not remember the last time she had felt this confident.
She grabbed her stylish new satchel purse and headed out the door, her new confidence marking her stride. Watch out, business world. I’m about to take over.
It felt good to be taken seriously again. Felt good to have something to contribute. And basically...she felt good.
When Micah entered her new work environment, her soon-to-be coworkers sized her up and tossed her looks of competition. Bring it on! Bring it on! Okay, so maybe she was getting a little out of control, her head growing with each step she took.
There was a tiny voice in her head that caused her to second-guess herself momentarily. Old habits had a tendency of dying hard, but she quickly stomped the negative thoughts from her mind. She would remain positive from here on out. She would not allow negativity to hold her back any longer. She was a changed woman, and she was bound to make that a permanent change.
After a few hours of initial training, she was given a break. In desperate need of a coffee, she grabbed her purse and headed out the door. Decisions, decisions. To the left, past the firehouse where Josh worked, was a coffee shop. Or she could go to the right and across the street.
Her positive, confident outlook pushed her to the left. The trucks were parked out front; several firemen cluttered the area. Josh had to be there. Somewhere. You look good in that skirt. Strut past that firehouse and show him what he’s missing.
Yup, no. She wasn’t that confident. She turned sharply to the right and made a beeline across the street.
* * *
“Where is everyone?” Jamie walked into Josh’s apartment expecting the regular people in attendance but instead was faced with an empty room.
“Oh, uh...Hanna’s working.”
“On Sundays now?”
“Guess so.”
“And the others?”
“Sabina is mad at me...”
“And Micah?”
Josh didn’t say anything. The silence was answer enough.
“What happened?” Jamie asked as he settled into his favorite spot on Josh’s couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table.
“You want me to grab you a beer before I get into it?”
“Yeah.”
Josh went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and pulled out two. He popped the tops off and handed one to Jamie when he returned to the living room, and settled down into his own seat after.
“Okay, spill. What happened?”
“So much...”
“Start from the beginning.”
“Nah, man. I don’t want to revisit all that.”
“Give me the bullet-points version, then.”
“Well...I was a fool. I took advantage of her when she was drunk. I lost all sense of self-control, cared more about my own lust... I treated her like just another girl I’d pick up in a bar.”
Jamie leaned back in his seat and propped his ankle on the opposite knee. “Continue.”
“Then I get this text the other day...”
“Yeah?”
“Mind you, this is after I lost all control.” Josh took another swig of his beer. “But this text...I guess she meant to send it someone else. It was obvious it was never meant for me to see.”
“Oh, really? That’s happened to me before. What did it say?”
“Basically it just said she had feelings for me.”
“What? That’s awesome. That makes it so much easier for you now.” Jamie took a sip of his beer. Then, as if he had thought about it a moment, he sat up straighter. “Wait. Now I am confused. Why isn’t she here then? I thought you were in love with her. Shouldn’t she be here playing kissy face with you now that the secret is out?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Well, uncomplicate it for me.”
“I am in love with her. That’s a given. But I can’t be with her.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Why not?”
“I thought we talked about this.”
“We did, but I’m still not seeing it.”
“She belongs to Drew. She always will be hands off to me. Our friendship means too much to me to muck it up.”
“So what has happened now hasn’t already mucked it up? I mean, look around. You still lost her.”
“I guess no matter what I do, I lose. At least this way I have the hope that she will find someone better than me and will eventually forgive me.”
“Are you kidding me? Who could possibly be a better match for her than you?”
“Tons of guys.”
“You’re full of it!”
Minutes passed with neither saying a word. He hated that deep down inside he felt he could never be enough for Micah. But what if this was the universe’s way of pushing him to be more?
“So, wait. Go back. Tell me what happened after she sent you that text message. What did you say in response?”
“Well, I went over there. No matter what, I couldn’t say anything to her through text message.”
“Right. That is always a bad idea.”
“She was crying and you could tell just how much she hadn’t wanted me to know. She was stressing about it to the max.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her I couldn’t do it.”
“You couldn’t do what?”
“I couldn’t be with her. I could not do this with her.”
“Are you freaking kidding me?”
“No. What was I supposed to say?”
“I
