I believed it was. But the protection I was wearing slipped from where it was supposed to be. The doctor assured me that there was only a tiny chance of that ever happening. I guess a tiny chance was working against us that night.”
“Or for us,” he added. “Depending on the way you look at things.”
He was going to have a child! He was going to be a father! With each passing minute the realization was slowly and surely sinking in on him and he was amazed at how comfortable he felt with the idea. Especially when he’d spent the past six years of his life convincing himself that it wasn’t meant for him to have a family.
A wan smile touched Kitty’s lips. “I’m glad you’re not upset. Some guys wouldn’t be so—understanding.”
“I’m not some guy,” he said with distaste, then leveled a pointed look at her. “But to be honest when I first saw you this morning and noticed that you were pregnant, I figured you’d met a man and were on your way to becoming a wife.”
Her lips parted to speak just as the waiter arrived with a cocktail for Liam and a ginger ale for Kitty. After the young man had served the drinks and walked away, she gave him a halfhearted smile. “When would I have time for a man?”
Her comment caused his brows to lift slightly. She might not have spent much intimate time with Liam, but she’d definitely made their evening together count. “You had time for me.”
Curling both hands around her glass, her smile faded as she stared down at the bubbling liquid. “You and I both know that we suffered a lapse of sanity that night. We might be having a child together but we’re not a couple. We never have been.”
Even though every word she’d uttered was the truth, Liam didn’t like the way it sounded. So indifferent and casual, so uncaring. He wasn’t in love with Kitty but he did care about her. Very much. Yet he wasn’t at all sure that she reciprocated his feelings. And that made him feel like a teenager with a hopeless crush. If the situation wasn’t so serious it would almost be laughable. The only females Liam ever mooned over were fillies or mares with the potential to win a six-figure purse. It shouldn’t matter to him if Kitty held any sort of affection for him.
“I guess not,” he agreed. “But the baby has connected us. It will keep us connected for the rest of our lives.”
She sipped her drink then glanced awkwardly away from him. “Yes. I suppose you’re right about that.”
He swiped a hand through his hair, rumpling the rich brown waves. “Me, a father,” he said with dismay. “I’ve got to admit I’d already moved past the notion of having a child in my life. I had decided I wasn’t ever going to be a father.”
She studied him thoughtfully. “You’re still a young man, Liam. It’s hard to imagine you already writing off those aspects of your life.”
He blew out a heavy breath. “Can’t you? I’m sure Will told you about … well, about my family and … what happened.”
Even now, in spite of his efforts to move forward, speaking about Felicia and the baby was like staring into a dark, empty hole. His family had oftentimes accused him of trying to cling to a memory and hang uselessly on to the past. But that wasn’t quite the truth. He’d tried to forget and set his sights on the future. He’d thrown himself into his work and pushed himself to get interested in dating and women. The work had helped keep his mind occupied, but he’d never felt a flicker of attraction toward another woman. Not until Kitty. And even that had been a slow thing that had crept up on him before he’d realized it was even happening. Now that attraction had turned into a baby!
He watched her cloudy gaze drop to the tabletop. “Yes. Dad told me a few years ago about the accident. I never mentioned it to you before because—” She focused her eyes back on his face. “Well, that’s your private business. If you wanted to talk to me about it that was for you to decide. Not me.”
“I rarely talk about it to anyone.”
Her expression solemn, she asked, “So the accident is why you never planned to have a family again?”
“My family was taken from me. I knew I couldn’t replace them.” He shrugged even though he was feeling anything but casual. “Felicia was one of a kind. She understood me and I understood her. We always got along without a hitch and the baby was a dream come true for the both of us. Once they were gone there was nothing left in my life but an empty hole. And I’ve never seen any way to fill it.”
“I see,” she murmured stiffly.
Did she? Most of the time, Liam had difficulty understanding his own feelings about the situation so he doubted she could grasp the state of his heart. But whether she appreciated how that part of his past had affected him didn’t really matter now. This was a new baby. And even though he’d not planned on it, his life was about to change.
“That probably sounds hard to you. If it does, I’m sorry. I’m not really a hard man, Kitty.”
A faint smile touched her lips and Liam was surprised at how much he would like to kiss her, to have that soft sweetness against his mouth, feel her warm breath caress his cheek.
“I’ve not ever thought that about you, Liam. Driven maybe. But not hard.”
He took another sip of his drink and realized the cocktail wasn’t nearly strong enough to slow the whirling thoughts in his head. Normally he was a cool, calculating man, his mind razor sharp. But Kitty and news of the baby had melted the ice water in his veins. Damn it. Right now he was feeling too much. Thinking too much.
“My work is what keeps me going,” he admitted. “Ever since I lost Felicia and the baby I’ve made horses and racing my whole life.”
“Well, you’re definitely making a name for yourself. For the past few years you’ve made plenty of owners and trainers bow down to you.”
He chuckled at her choice of words. “Bow? I didn’t know anyone had ever seen me wearing my crown, I always make a point to leave it locked in the vault at home.”
The smile fighting its way across her face warmed him.
“You hardly need to wear a crown, Liam. Everyone around the West Coast tracks think you’re royalty.”
“Only the West Coast?”
That made her laugh and he realized it was the first joyous sound he’d heard her make today. He also realized how good her laughter made him feel.
“I don’t know why anyone would have that idea about me,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’ve never won a training title at any track in this area. Up until this year I’ve never brought that many horses to California to even vie for one.”
“No. But you have a high win percentage with the amount you do bring,” she pointed out.
The waiter arrived with their salads and once they were alone again, she wasted no time in drenching the pile of greens with black pepper and forking up a piece of romaine lettuce.
Following her example, he dug into his own salad and swallowed several bites before he spoke again. “I’ve brought some of my best out here this spring. I’m hoping to show some of the big owners and trainers that the Diamond D stables can compete on any level.”
She
