“I don’t expect he would have been very proud of me,” he said with a measure of self-contempt. “He was a mentor and I feel as though I let him down.”
His remark had her looking at him with dismay. “You let him down? How do you think I feel? He was my father. I did let him down. In more ways than one.”
He didn’t press her to explain that comment and Kitty was glad. She didn’t want to explain how she’d let her father down by refusing to marry Steve Bowers or how she’d embarrassed him by throwing Roger Grove’s engagement ring back in his face. Over the years, her father had held his own ideas about who she should love and marry and she’d disappointed him by rebelling, by questioning his judgment. But try as she might, neither of those men had been the sort she’d envisioned spending the rest of her life with. As a result, she’d ended both relationships. It was ironic, she supposed, that the only time her father had picked out the right man for her, Liam had refused.
She’d never told Liam that she’d learned of her father’s effort to get him to date her. And she wasn’t about to reveal it to him now. It was all too humiliating. Especially now that she was carrying his child.
Trying to shove those miserable thoughts away, she looked around with relief to see the waiter arriving with their main courses. She needed to eat and escape to her hotel room where she could go to bed and hope the weariness in her body and soul would disappear, at least for a while.
After the waiter had left behind Kitty’s shrimp scampi and Liam’s stuffed crab, he said, “Will understood human nature. He didn’t expect people or his horses to be perfect.”
She picked up her fork. “Dad expected it of me.”
Disbelief appeared on his face in the form of a frown. “I never noticed that whenever I was around the two of you.”
She sighed. Willard Cartwright had been a likable guy with a warm, jovial personality. He’d made friends easily and she doubted he’d died having even one enemy. Unless she counted her mother, Francine. As Willard’s wife, she’d refused to allow him to dominate every aspect of her life and because of that they’d gone through a bitter divorce and an even nastier custody battle over Kitty. With his family members, Willard had been a different man, one who’d loved fiercely, but had also fought to be in control. Now he was still trying to control Kitty from the grave.
She said, “Families always behave differently at home than in public.”
“That’s true,” he agreed. “But I always got the impression that you adored your father.”
“I did adore him. He was wonderful to me and Owen in so many ways. But he was demanding and controlling and because of that we often clashed—sometimes very loudly.” A bittersweet smile suddenly touched her lips. “Still, he was bigger than life and I wanted to be just like him. At least, like the good parts,” she amended. “Now—well, now I just miss him like hell.”
“If I lost my father, I’d be devastated,” he said solemnly.
Kitty had met Liam’s parents, Doyle and Fiona, about two years ago at Sunland Park near El Paso. They’d had a colt running in the Sunland Derby and most of the Donovan family had traveled to West Texas to view the event. Fiona had been breathtakingly beautiful, classy and very approachable. In looks, Doyle had been an older version of Liam, but the elder Donovan had seemed to be a genuinely happy and jovial man, whereas Liam was usually serious and all business. She’d liked his parents and his family. In fact, she’d been envious of their close-knit bond.
“So how are your parents doing? Do they plan to come out to Hollywood anytime during the meet?”
“They’re doing great. And as of now they’re planning on coming for the Big Cap and maybe, later on, the Gold Cup. It depends on what’s going on with their schedule. They say they’re retired, but they’re busier now than they’ve ever been.”
Feeling suddenly pensive, she pushed the food around on her plate. “You were just wondering what my father would have thought of our situation. Now I’m wondering what your family is going to think?”
“Does it matter?”
Her gaze lifted from her plate to settle on his face. “I suppose it shouldn’t. We’re not teenagers. We’re grown adults, financially secure and settled in our careers. If we’re not capable of raising a child, then I don’t know who would be. But …” Looking away from him, she released a wistful sigh. “I’ve got to be honest, Liam. Their opinion of me does matter. After all, this will be their grandchild.”
He reached across the table and touched his fingers to hers. The simple gesture sent a wave of emotions rushing through her. She blinked and swallowed and prayed she could keep her tears in check.
“Believe me, Kitty, my parents will welcome you into the family with open arms.”
A confused frown pulled her brows together. “You mean they’ll welcome the baby with open arms,” she corrected. “He or she will be a part of the Donovan family. Not me.”
A faint smile lifted one corner of his mouth. “The baby is already a Donovan. And so will you be—just as soon as you become my wife.”
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