‘Stop living your life as a lie.’ I assume you were the one who left that for me, Julian?”
“Of course. What fun is life without a hint of mystery? What joy is life without a little adventure? I was trying to inject some wonder into your life. This path you are interested in walking is not for the faint of heart, my friend. It requires great courage. You must confront your fears and then move through them. It will not be easy but it will lead you to the place that the deepest part of you is hungering to know. Anyway, as I was saying before, I can’t believe people are calling me a guru. I’m just a student of life who has some pretty powerful insights to share. Think of me more as a guide. I drop into people’s lives to guide them in the right direction. I look for people who have a willingness to make some big changes in their lives because they know, deep within, that there is so much more to life than what they are currently experiencing. Makes me think of what Rumi once said: ‘Whoever enters The Way without a guide will take a hundred years to travel a two-day journey.’”
I chuckled, appreciating the depth of wisdom being shared. This must have been Julian Mantle. Who else could share what he was sharing? I relaxed even more, releasing the last bit of uncertainty about this unusual man’s identity.
“Maybe a better way to look at what I do is to consider me a life coach. I coach people on becoming their highest selves and help them play their biggest games as human beings. I help people discover their destiny and live their dreams. It’s hard to believe that we live in a world where most people are more concerned with following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing than living their dreams. I’ll tell you something I pray you never will forget: One of the greatest regrets a person can ever have is getting to the end of their lives and realizing they did not do their dreams. Getting to the end or even the middle of your life and waking up one day to the understanding that you did not dare, that you did not reach for the stars, that you did not realize even one-tenth of your potential will break your heart. Trust me on this one—I see it all the time. At the end of our lives, what fills our hearts with regret are not all the risks we took. Instead, what causes us to feel immense sadness is thinking about all the risks we didn’t take, all the opportunities we did not seize, all the things we did not do. Do not live your life as a timid soul, my friend. Get into the arena, forget about the critics and play big with the gifts of your days. Life is short and the years will slip away very quickly, like grains of sand passing through your fingers on a hot day at the beach. You were meant to shine and let your talents see the light of day. There is but one failure in life and that is the failure to try. The greatest failure in life is the unwillingness to play your highest game and walk towards the places that frighten you.”
“I agree, Julian. I completely agree. I regret so much of the way I’ve lived up until now.”
“Be gentle with yourself. We grow from our mistakes. What’s that expression—good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from making mistakes and mistakes come from bad judgment. I’d rather be willing to experiment with life and make a few mistakes than forego growth by refusing to step out of the confines of my comfort zone. So you made some mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on. The past is a grave and it makes no sense to spend your life living in a grave. Every ending represents a new beginning. Or to put it another way, you cannot move forward in life if you’re stuck looking in the rearview mirror. As Cicero noted: ‘The souls of wise people look to the future state of their existence; all of their thoughts are concentrated towards eternity.’ The key is to learn from your mistakes and build a foundation of wisdom. Blend self-responsibility with self-forgiveness. The key is also to keep running towards rather than away from your fears because on the other side of your greatest fears lives your greatest life. If you do not keep running towards your fear wall, you will never—ever—discover personal freedom. Freedom lives on the other side of your fears. How often do you think most people are frightened?”
“I have no idea,” I replied honestly. “Maybe once every few months.”
“If you do not feel some fear on a daily basis, you are living life within a safe harbor and clinging to the shore. Do you know the story of how Columbus came to the New World?” Julian asked warmly.
“No, I don’t, Julian. I used to read a lot of history but I have no idea what the answer to your question is.”
“He went perpendicular,” said Julian as he brought his bronzed hands together to form a “T.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Before Columbus, all previous adventurers sailed close to the shore, within sight of land. That was the accepted way to sail. Columbus dared to be different. He refused to do what all others had done. He took a risk: he sailed perpendicular to the shore—straight out to sea. And because he let go of the known and had the bravery to sail out into the unknown, he became one of our greatest heroes. You see, my friend, heroes are revolutionaries. All progress of humankind has been made by people who refused to think, feel and act like everyone else. John F. Kennedy stating he would work hard to put a man on the moon was the talk of a revolutionary, one who refused to follow the crowd and play small. Mahatma Gandhi’s dream of freeing a nation was the fantasy of a revolutionary who refused to let his fears run him. Mother Teresa’s goal of ridding Calcutta of the shackles of poverty was the ideal of a revolutionary who refused to listen to the shouts of the naysayers telling her it could not and should not be done. George Bernard Shaw said it so very well: ‘The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one tries to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.’ That’s such an important point of wisdom. All progress comes from unreasonable people, people who follow their hearts and the instructions of their consciences rather than the commands of the crowd. All progress has come from risk-takers and men and women who were willing to visit the places that scared them.”
“That is a great point, Julian,” I agreed. “All human progress, all of the advancements in the world—ranging from the discovery of fire to the creation of the personal computer—have come about by people who had the courage not to listen to the crowd but do what they felt was right, regardless of the fact it provoked uncertainty and fear within them.”
“To take risks is to provoke fear, amigo. But to take risks is to be most alive. I deeply feel that we are most alive when we are taking risks, being bold and visiting the unknown spaces of our lives. ‘Big risks, big life. Small risks, small life,’ is the way I view it. If you want to live greatly, you must also be willing to risk greatly. To get to the pearls, the diver needs to be willing to go deep and visit the places that the timid souls would never visit.”
“Good example.”
“When you ask for something you’ve never asked for from someone and your heart starts beating rapidly, that’s when you are truly alive. When you want to say something to someone but the very thought of doing so sends butterflies through your stomach, that’s when you are most alive. When you do something that you’ve never done before but follow through on it because you know in your heart it’s something that will make your life richer and better, that’s when you are most alive. Papa Wallenda, the great high-wire walker, said it so well when he observed: ‘Life is on the wire. The rest is just waiting.’”
Julian continued with a level of enthusiasm that is rare in our world today. “So see me as your life coach. All smart businesspeople have coaches to help them get where they want to go. Every elite athlete has a coach to help them play at their best. Well, think of yourself as an elite performer on the playing field of life—you need a coach to guide, inspire and champion you as you evolve into who you are destined to become. I knew you’d be here at the seminar tonight. That guy was pretty good out there—I really liked what he had to say. I hope I didn’t frighten you by the way I drew you to me.”
“Oh
