fine, kiddo,’ Ronnie said, kissing the top of her head. ‘It’s a relief, if I’m being honest. Like I said, before I even knew about her being pregnant I was having doubts; I knew it was wrong. And I’ve been proved right.’
Amber let go of him, walking over to the table to begin tidying away the remnants of their finished supper. ‘Was it because you had a feeling her and Frankie weren’t over? The reason why you had doubts?’ Amber asked, placing a pile of plates noisily down on the counter before opening the dishwasher door.
Ronnie shrugged. ‘I don’t know, exactly. Everything’s such a blur. And I guess I’m just trying to put it behind me now, forget it ever happened.’
Amber began loading the dishwasher, saying nothing. She was still too stunned by Ronnie’s revelations to take it all in.
‘I mean, as far as I knew she never even wanted to have a kid,’ Ronnie went on, before realising what he’d said, and his expression changed in an instant as he noticed the look on Amber’s face. ‘Oh Jesus, Amber. I’m sorry, babe. I’m really sorry. How bloody insensitive of me.’
‘No, it’s fine. It’s fine.’ Amber smiled, shutting the dishwasher door and wiping her hands on a nearby tea towel. ‘Really.’
‘I didn’t even think…’
‘Ronnie, it’s fine.’
He walked over to her, tilting her chin up with his thumb and forefinger, kissing her forehead quickly. ‘Maybe I should go, huh? It’s been a long day and we’ve got that early flight back to the North East tomorrow.’
‘No. I want you to stay. Will you stay? Please?’ The words had come out of her mouth before she’d even had time to think about what she’d said. ‘I… I don’t really feel much like being on my own and… and I don’t think you do either, do you?’
He smiled, shaking his head. ‘No. I don’t. Do you want me to go make up the spare bedroom?’
She smiled, too, nodding.
‘Okay then. You finish up in here, I’ll sort out the spare bed, and I’ll meet you back in the living room for a nightcap, all right?’
‘Yeah. All right.’ And as she watched him walk out of the kitchen, heard him almost running up the stairs, she couldn’t help but think how their lives – lives they’d thought were finally getting back on track – had suddenly become complicated all over again. And she had no idea how it was all going to turn out. For either of them.
Jim opened the front door, his eyes immediately meeting those of the young man standing on the doorstep. Tall, with short dark hair and piercing green eyes set in a handsome face, he reminded Jim of himself twenty years ago.
‘Well, you gonna let me in or leave me standing out here all night?’
Jim stood aside, indicating to his visitor to come in. ‘Go through to the living room.’
Closing the door, Jim leaned back against it, closing his eyes and taking a long, deep breath. He needed a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts, compose himself, because what was happening here was something he should have sorted out a long time ago. But he’d let it go too far, left it so late that he didn’t really know how to handle it all now. Even though he’d known it had only been a matter of time before it all came to a head. He’d had twenty years to prepare for this, so why did he feel so out of control?
He walked into the living room, looking up to see his young visitor standing by the large bay window, looking out at the view of the North Sea. ‘Nice place you’ve got here,’ he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, turning round to face Jim. ‘I like it. I wouldn’t mind a place like this one day.’
‘Work hard and you’ll get there.’
‘I intend to work hard. That’s why I’m here.’
Jim walked over to the sideboard, pouring himself a small measure of brandy. ‘Do you want one?’ he asked, out of politeness more than anything, because the last thing he should be offering this man tonight was alcohol.
‘No, thanks. Not supposed to touch that stuff the night before, you know how it is.’
Jim said nothing, turning his back for a second as he took a sip of the warm, dark liquid. Yeah, he knew exactly how it was.
He turned round, having taken a couple more seconds to compose himself again. ‘So, how come you were allowed out?’
‘We don’t have the same stringent rules that you do at your club. The boss lets us stay home the night before a game. Well, the night before a home game, anyway. I guess my new club places a lot more trust in us than you do your guys.’
‘It’s not a matter of trust,’ Jim said, looking the young man straight in the eyes. ‘It’s a matter of making sure everyone is focused. Are you focused on tomorrow?’
The young man shrugged. ‘I guess so. I’m excited, I know that much. And glad that all the paperwork came through in time to allow me to play tomorrow, because it was hit and miss for a while there.’
Jim took another sip of brandy, his eyes still fixed on his visitor. ‘It’s good to see you. I really mean that. With everything that’s happened over the past year or so it’s been difficult for me to get away, to get back over to the States, and… Look, I know things are complicated, and I know we’ve still got a lot to talk about, but…’
‘Mom said you’d freak out if I signed for an English club.’
‘I’m not freaking out, Brandon…’
‘You still haven’t told her about me, though, have you? Your new wife. She still has no idea who I am. And in her line of work I would have thought it was only a matter of time before the truth came out. Surely you’d prefer to tell her yourself?’
Jim sat down on the arm of a nearby chair, draining his glass of the remaining brandy. ‘It’s not that simple…’
‘Why isn’t it that simple? Huh? You see, I don’t get it. Not really. Everyone has baggage, everyone has a past. So what if you’ve got a son? Is she really gonna think that’s such big news?’
Jim sighed heavily, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘Listen, Brandon. When I say it isn’t that simple, I really mean that. Amber and I… yeah, we’ve both got baggage, we’ve both got a past, but the thing is, that past, it… both of us… I had an affair with her, Brandon. With Amber. When she was just sixteen years old, and I was a player at Newcastle Red Star.’
Brandon raised his eyebrows in surprise, leaning back against the windowsill, folding his arms. ‘You did, huh? So the reputation you had back then as a player was true, was it?’
Jim looked at his son – his twenty-year-old, professional football-playing son. The son nobody but a handful of people knew about, and one of those wasn’t Amber. He was a secret Jim really shouldn’t have kept, but he had. He’d never mentioned Brandon to anyone, and he didn’t even know why, he’d just assumed it would be better that way. Better for who, though? Better for him? Had he let his own selfishness jeopardise everything, again?
‘Amber and I, our relationship –
