STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL TEEN PARTY
1 First and foremost, they must agree to clear up after the party by a certain time the following day. If they don’t agree willingly, negotiations are off.
2 Keep numbers low for the first party, about twelve to fifteen. If they say they want more, explain that if this party goes off without a hitch then the next time they can probably have more.
3 To avoid gate-crashers, ask them to invite their guests over the phone in the evening and to keep it to themselves, because if it gets around it will have to be cancelled.
4 Provide food to soak up any alcohol, like sandwiches, pizza, cheese and biscuits or bowls of Chinese/ Indian dishes and rice, or a big pasta dish and French bread.
5 Depending on their ages provide some limited alcohol and low alcohol beer, non-alcoholic wine and soft drinks and plenty of small individual bottles of water.Take precautions to avoid gate-crashers
6 If you want to put some candles out make sure they are in storm lanterns so that they cannot easily be knocked over.
7 Work out how loud the music can be without annoying the neighbours.
8 Warn the neighbours.
9 If the neighbours are good friends suggest you all go out for supper.
10 Get younger siblings to stay with friends.
11 Sadly, it is a fact of life that many teenagers smoke, so either ban it completely or allocate a smoking area, if necessary outside (but away from being seen from the road) and provide ashtrays or allow them to smoke in one room (for example, the kitchen) only.
12 Tell them that if they see any of their friends getting the worse for wear, they should make sure they drink plenty of water as vomit is really nasty to clear up. Explain where the bucket, rubber gloves, paper towelling and cloths are, just in case.
13 Arrange a time that you will be home and a time by which you expect them to be gone.
14 If any are staying over, buy in some bacon and rolls so that your teen can make everyone breakfast before they start to clear up.
15 If they’ve had a good party and cleared up as agreed, congratulate and thank them for making it such a success.
Sam: ‘However annoying cleaning up after a party is, it’s well worth it because I was allowed to have more parties. I felt that my Mum was generous enough to allow me to have the party and get things ready so I wanted to keep to my part of the deal. My friends respect/worship my Mum for all the effort she always puts in and they don’t mind helping to clean up in the morning.’
food and diet
Our eating culture has changed since even a generation ago. In many homes, home-cooked meals around a table with the family have been replaced by eating fast-food, takeaways and processed meals often in solitude in front of the TV, and children are all the poorer for it.
During adolescence you will notice many changes in your teenagers’ eating habits for which there are many reasons. The more understanding you have of the reasons, the easier it will be to support and benefit your growing children. Convincing your children to eat a healthy diet can feel like banging your head against a brick wall (repeatedly) but it is not, I have to add, impossible (or as painful!).
Always be a good example – it’s no good sitting down to pizza and chips on a regular basis and telling your teenagers to eat a healthy diet. If you always provide a healthy meal, regardless of how simple, they will eat it. Obviously, there will be foods they prefer to others – that is normal – but, for instance, if they dislike a piece of fish they might enjoy fishcakes.
Provide a family meal, as often as possible, that everyone will enjoy, such as a roast, steak and home cooked oven chips, or tuna salad with a baked potato. If you can’t think of simple healthy (quick) meals treat yourself to a cookbook that will provide them.
Suggest your children food shop with you one day to see if there is anything they see that they would like to try, as getting children interested in choosing food is the first step to getting them to eat healthily.
food and behaviour
Moodiness, lack of concentration, poor intellectual performance and disruptive behaviour can all be connected to a poor diet.
Recent reports have indicated that it is not only young children whose behaviour is affected by food. In 2002 The British Journal of Psychiatry published research of their findings in a controlled trial involving 230 young offenders. Half the offenders received supplements of vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids and the other half received placebos. The group on the supplement committed 40 per cent fewer violent offences than the group taking the placebo and offending was down 25 per cent. Bernard Gesch, a senior research scientist in physiology at Oxford University, points out that nutrients are vital in the biochemical processes that produce serotonin and dopamine, brain transmitters which are known to affect mood.
High sugar laden sweets, snacks and drinks can change the normal biochemical pathways, resulting in moody and disruptive behaviour. Products made from pure white flour will also convert into pure sugar with the same results.
High-fat or high-sugar meals can leave some people feeling very low after consumption. Schools that have taken out sweet vending machines and replaced them with fruit have found children more able to concentrate and less disruptive.
Growing Spurts
There will be times when you are simply amazed at the amount your children are eating. You may well wonder where can all that food possibly be going, but don’t worry, continual grazing between meals is quite normal. Although half an hour after a proper meal they claim they are ‘starving’, they probably are. And unless they are grossly overweight, don’t worry about it.
If you start to notice they are eating less it may be because their growing spurt is temporarily over and not necessarily because they are dieting (see Eating Disorders, page 198).
How to Help
Keep plenty of low-fat, low-sugar, healthy foods and snacks in the house. Healthy cereals (not the chocolate flavoured, high-salt, sugar-laden ones), brown bread, cheese, lean ham and cooked chicken, fresh fruit, nuts, yoghurt, ice-cream (check contents, it should have milk, eggs and cream – you’d be amazed at how many don’t – plus flavourings), low-fat crisps and snacks, carrots, cherry tomatoes and cucumber sticks with low fat dips such as hummus. Try and stay clear of too many processed foods.
personal appearance
Unfortunately, everywhere we look, whether it is advertising hoardings, magazines or TV and films, unrealistic body shapes are looming down on us. Obviously our children are going to emulate their idols, boys wanting ‘six-packs’ and girls wanting to be a size 8 with breast implants. It is total madness, but sadly, here to stay for the foreseeable future.
