which was the main thing. They were unaware she’d just had life turned upside down, and Grace admired her for it.
Grace’s own situation had been playing on her mind all day. She definitely still loved Simon, but she didn’t love their relationship. He’d changed towards her and no longer made her feel special and loved. He simply couldn’t be bothered with her, and Grace had finally decided that enough was enough; she wasn’t going to accept it anymore. As much as it killed her and broke her heart, they needed to separate. Grace feared their relationship would only get worse if she didn’t do something about it. The thought of being alone seemed much more pleasant than being constantly taken for granted. There was a lot to think about still. Where would she stay? Or would he move out? But Grace had made her mind up. Everything she’d said to Rachel had been a wakeup call to herself.
Simon was already home from work when Grace walked through the door. She loved their house and felt sick at the thought of not living there should she be the one to go. She remembered when they’d seen it online and Simon had turned his nose up.
‘Needs loads of work done. Can you imagine how long it would take to get that place looking nice?’
But Grace could imagine, and there was something inside her telling her that the two-bedroom cottage was for them. It was such a reasonable price too, and Grace knew how much she’d love decorating and renovating it. Simon had thought she was crazy at first when she told him she wanted to go for it. She’d told him they could knock the wall down between the kitchen and dining room so it was open plan, and change the back door into bifold doors opening out into the garden (which was a complete mess, but they could fix it!). She could just imagine them hosting barbeques in the garden with their friends and family in the summer whilst pouring jugs of ice-cold Pimm’s.
When Simon had listened to her ideas about what to change, he’d turned to her and said, ‘How can I say no to that little happy face?’ and kissed her on the nose. Grace could remember it like yesterday, but the idea of Simon looking at her in that way again seemed like a lifetime ago. It just never happened anymore. Now, it was easy for him to say no.
Grace walked into the lounge where Simon was sitting watching the television.
‘Oh, there you are,’ he said, quickly glancing up and then looking straight back at the television, ‘I was going to call you earlier, but I must have been distracted at work. Look, I know we’re supposed to be going to your sister’s for Christmas, but I was talking to Mum today and she said she can’t see us Boxing Day as they’re going out with June and Charlie. God knows where, some restaurant I think she said. So I said we’ll go there instead.’
Grace sighed. She was angry that he thought it was acceptable to change Christmas Day plans without consulting her, especially when it was her family’s turn to spend Christmas Day with them and he knew how much she’d been looking forward to it. Not that any of it mattered now with what she was about to do, but still. This was so Simon. Years ago, he’d never have said something like this. Years ago, Grace had been the most important person to him. Her feelings had come first. Now he just seemed to do what he liked without a second thought for her.
‘Simon, I really need to talk to you. Can you please turn off the television?’
He glanced up again. ‘Is it urgent? I’m listening to this.’ He nodded towards the news showing on the screen. ‘What do we have for dinner by the way? I’m starving.’
Grace calmly picked up the remote control next to him and switched it off.
‘Alright, there’s no need to do that,’ he huffed loudly.
‘I need to talk and yes, it’s urgent,’ Grace stated authoritatively, her heart beating ridiculously fast.
Simon sat up, looking at her in confusion as she sat opposite him on the sofa with her head in her hands. This didn’t feel real. Grace felt silly being so serious, as though she was pretending to be the kind of woman to break up from her husband. Grace was the type of woman to say she loved an awful haircut to the hairdresser, she drank her cold coffee in Costa and she got nervous returning items back to the store, even though they were poor quality and had fallen apart after one wear. It just wasn’t like Grace to do something this drastic, but it was about time she stood up for herself. She had no choice. She had married for life; it hadn’t been a decision she’d taken lightly, but this wasn’t the marriage she’d signed up for.
‘I don’t feel happy anymore, Simon,’ she told him, staring at him intently.
The room was quiet and still.
Grace cleared her throat and continued. ‘I don’t feel appreciated, or even loved by you. You used to be all over me, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, but it’s changed. You’ve changed. I feel like you just expect me to cook and clean for you, you never offer to help with anything. You never want to go out with me either, but you have no trouble going out with your friends. There’s no passion between us anymore. It’s like you’re bored and complacent, and it doesn’t feel nice for me. And I’ve tried to talk to you—’ she played with her hair awkwardly ‘—but you just roll your eyes. You won’t ever discuss anything. You just tell me I’m creating unnecessary problems and I’m not.’
Simon exhaled sharply. ‘I’ll change, okay, I’ll do my best. I’m not perfect, I know that. I do love you and maybe I don’t show it enough. I’m sorry. Can we not just move on from this?’ He looked at her as though she was being unreasonable distracting him from the news. He didn’t grasp quite how serious Grace was about this.
Grace shook her head. ‘No, Simon, we clearly can’t. We’ve had this discussion before and it’s just not getting through to you, is it? I don’t know what I want anymore, but I know it’s not good for either of us to continue in this marriage the way it is. I want to split up,’ she announced confidently. Now her mind was made up, she wasn’t going to change it.
Simon raised his eyebrows and looked at the floor in disbelief. ‘You want a divorce?’ he questioned in surprise. ‘Things aren’t that bad, for God’s sake.’
‘They are to me,’ Grace replied sadly.
‘Oh, come on Grace, it’s not like I beat you or treat you badly.’ He clicked his tongue as if she was going over the top. Making a fuss over nothing.
Grace frowned. ‘You don’t treat me well. I shouldn’t have to stay in an unhappy marriage just because you don’t beat me.’ She shook her head, focusing on a tiny black stain on the grey fabric sofa.
‘I’m not saying that…’
‘I need to be alone, Simon. I’m sorry. I’ve made up my mind. Things haven’t been right here for ages, and you know it.’
Simon took deep breaths as it finally dawned on him that she truly meant it this time. ‘I do love you, Grace.’
‘If you love me then you’ll let me go,’ she told him, her eyes burning with tears. She felt like someone was strangling her, all hot and clammy. She removed her cardigan.
Simon remained silent, looking at the floor and Grace stood up and walked towards the kitchen, feeling relieved that she’d been brave enough to tell him.
Grace couldn’t believe she’d really said it. What would they do now? It was terrifying thinking of a new life without him. But as she gazed at Simon’s mess from that morning, still sitting on the kitchen work surface, she knew, for certain, that she’d made the
