Change her. It doesn’t sound like much fun, but diaper changing is a highly underrated bonding experience—a great time to interact with the baby one-on-one, to rub her soft belly, tickle her knees, and kiss her tiny fingers. For at least the first month or so, she needs to be changed every two hours—a baby’s supersensitive skin shouldn’t soak in human waste—so there are plenty of opportunities. See “Diaper Changing 101” on pages 30–31.
• Keep her clean—but not too clean. You may take a shower every day, but until your baby starts crawling, she’s unlikely to do anything that would get her terribly dirty, so there’s no real need to bathe her more than once or twice a week—any more than that could unnecessarily dry her skin. Two small exceptions: it’s okay to wash the baby’s face every day using plain water, and carefully clean everything covered up by her diapers every time you change her. When you’re cleaning your baby’s head, pay close attention to the soft spots on the top; sometimes you can see them beat in time with the baby’s pulse. These soft spots (called fontanels) have a purpose—to allow the baby’s skull to make it through the birth canal without breaking—and the skin covering them is pretty sturdy, so there’s no reason to worry about harming the baby when washing the area.
Diaper Changing 101
By the time your baby gets potty-trained, you’ll have changed about 10,000 diapers (more for boys than for girls, and way, way more for twins), so the faster and more efficiently you learn to get the job done, the less time you’ll spend doing it. Here’s the short course:
1. Get everything you need ready before you start: fresh diapers, water, towels, and a new outfit (mostly for the baby, but you might need one too, if things get messy enough). Stay away from commercial baby wipes for the first few weeks. Even the ones that are alcohol-free contain too many chemicals for brand-new skin. Use wet washcloths (room temperature is fine) or cotton balls instead. If you’re planning to be away from the house at any point during this period, bring along some moistened disposable washcloths in a resealable plastic bag.
2. Find yourself a nice, flat place to do the job. Changing tables—or any other sturdy table—are great. Some changing tables come with straps for holding the baby secure, but don’t rely on them—make sure you keep at least one hand on your baby at all times. Newborns are surprisingly strong—and clever too—and she’ll pick the precise second you choose to turn around to propel herself over the edge. The floor is probably the safest spot, since there’s no possibility of the baby falling, but it can be hard on the back (yours).
3. Undress the baby enough to free her legs. Be sure to take off her socks, if any. Babies love to kick their legs while they’re being changed and have an uncanny ability to drag their feet through their own poop.
4. Lay the baby face-up on the changing surface. Some babies absolutely love having their diapers changed and are perfectly calm throughout the whole process. Others will kick and squirm and bounce and scream. If your baby is less than thrilled to be there, hanging a mobile right above the changing surface might provide enough distraction for you to do what you need to do. In the early days and weeks of parenthood, you and your partner might want to do some of your diaper changing as a team, one of you getting the supplies, entertaining the baby, and maybe holding those flailing legs, while the other does the actual cleaning.
5. Open a clean diaper and place it underneath the baby. Then unfasten the old one, gently lift the baby up by her ankles, and pull the dirty diaper out. Be sure to immediately cover the baby’s genitals with a towel or cloth diaper. This isn’t for modesty purposes; it’s to keep you dry when the sudden rush of fresh air on your baby’s crotch causes him or her to spray you.
6. Clean the bottom and genitals well—if there’s a clean spot on the old diaper, use that to make a first pass. For girls, wipe from top to bottom to minimize the possibility of infection-causing bacteria getting into the vagina. For boys, clean under the scrotum. Keep a gentle but firm grip on your baby’s ankles until you’re through with step 8. With your free hand move the soiled diaper out of the way.
7. Apply diaper rash cream, but only if you really need to. Skip the lotions for the first few weeks (again, too harsh), and never, ever use baby powder that contains talc. Besides being a carcinogen, it can damage the lungs if inhaled. If you happen to have been raised in a family that doesn’t think a baby is properly changed unless her bottom is covered in white powder, consider a nontoxic alternative containing cornstarch or natural, clay-based ingredients.
8. Fasten the diaper—snugly but still loose enough so it doesn’t pinch the skin. And fold down the front edge so it doesn’t rub against the cord stump. If the baby pees or poops into the new, clean diaper (which they love to do), repeat steps 4, 5, and 6.
9. Wash up—your hands and the baby’s feet, if necessary. I’ve found that keeping a bottle of Purell or other cleanser is great if you aren’t near running water.
10. Get the baby dressed.
Changing diapers is an acquired skill; it won’t take long before you’ll be able to do it with your eyes closed (although you probably shouldn’t). In the meantime, even if you don’t do it right, baby stool washes right off your hands—but not off your clothes, so quickly rinse off anything that gets hit.
A Note on Diapers
It seems as though you can hardly do anything anymore without having to make choices—do you want the Tastes Great kind of beer or the Less Filling kind? Do you want toothpaste with tartar control or with peroxide and baking soda? Fortunately, most of the choices we make are pretty easy. But some come with their very own built-in political controversy: Death penalty or life in prison? Paper or plastic? Well, now that you’re a parent, you can add “Disposable diapers or cloth?” to your list. Let’s take a quick look at the pros and cons of each kind:
• Disposables. Americans throw away something like eighteen billion disposable diapers a year, enough to constitute more than 1 percent of the nation’s landfills. They’re made of plastic and will stay in their present form for about five hundred years. “Biodegradable” disposables are available in some places, but since these diapers are buried under tons of other garbage, they’re deprived of the oxygen and sun they need to decompose. As a result, they may take just as long to break down.
On the other hand, disposables are a lot more convenient. If you’re traveling, you can just toss the dirty ones away instead of having to carry them around with you. And even if you’re not traveling, they’re very easy to use, which is probably why about 90 percent of parents (and about 100 percent of hospitals) use disposables.
Disposable diapers for newborns are inexpensive. However, as your baby and her diapers get bigger, the number per package goes down while the cost per package stays about the same. Since you’ll be going through about a dozen diapers a day, this option can get pretty pricey. But if you keep your eyes out for coupons or shop at warehouse stores, you can save a lot. In addition, places like Toys я Us, Walgreens, and other drugstore chains have generic or house brands that are a lot cheaper and usually just as good.
On the downside, disposables are so effective in absorbing moisture that kids who wear them stay comfortable longer and tend to be potty-trained later. (The average child who wears disposables is in them for 36–40 months, compared to 24–30 months for kids in cloth diapers.) Disposable-wearing kids are also more likely to get diaper rash because even though the moisture gets absorbed, the bacteria and ammonia that cause the rash stay inside.
• Cloth. These diapers are a lot easier on babies’ brand-new, sensitive skin—no harsh chemicals or plastics. One of the traditional arguments against cloth diapers is that they aren’t as convenient as disposables, and to
