the NHS some £1bn). Department of Health statistics show that:
51 people were bitten or crushed by reptiles.
22 were bitten by a rat.
190 had ‘come into contact with plant thorns, spines and sharp leaves’.
369 had fallen foul of lawnmowers.
3,038 were injured through ‘contact with a non-powered hand drill’.
389 were admitted after crashing their bicycle into a stationary object.
31 children under 14 got on a motorcycle and crashed into a car.
24 were burned by ‘ignition or melting of nightwear’.
754 were scalded by hot tap water.
189 needed treatment after ‘foreign objects’ were accidentally left in their bodies during surgical and medical care.
Lightning struck 65 times – but not in the same place twice. The Times/Evening Standard
‘As a medical student I was baffled by the abbreviation BNOR, but discovered from a nurse in the obstetric unit that it meant: “Bowels not opened regularly.”’
Bernard Gaston, Hale, Cheshire, The Times
A 75-year-old man was treated for a knee injury in a Wirral hospital after being hit by a milk float being ‘driven by a dog’.
Guardian
As a retired vet I have also come across useful acronyms. DMITO stands for ‘dog more intelligent than owner’.
Mike Godsal, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, The Times
To celebrate the 75th anniversary of the discovery of penicillin the Royal Society of Chemistry wants to find the most spectacular growth of grunge in a forgotten coffee mug. Staff in offices, factories and other work places are being asked to submit photos of the muckiest mugs in Britain. ‘Send pictures, not the mugs,’ pleads the Society.
Independent
Amid stories of unhygienic hospitals, I A Olsen of Aberdeen writes to The Times: ‘The quest for cleanliness can have unforeseen circumstances.
Queen Victoria is reputed to have indignantly dismissed a doctor who carefully washed his hands – after he had examined her.’
Stephen Brown got a phone call when he was on holiday in Spain telling him that his mother was ill and an ambulance had been called to take her into hospital. He flew back and got to Derby General Hospital before his mother did. She had had to wait more than eight hours before the ambulance arrived.
The Times
Doctors in Leeds have told student Ashley Clarke, 18, to eat as much junk food and drink as much beer as he likes to combat a rare medical disorder – vasovagal syncope syndrome. A high-fat, salty diet of chips, crisps and chocolate helps to fur up extra wide arteries.
The Times/Sun
A Liverpool doctor accused of groping an expectant mother’s breasts told her: ‘You could feed a street with those.’
Sun
A man who broke a tooth filling telephoned the NHS Dentaline, in Medway, Kent, and was told he was not in enough pain to justify an out-of-hours consultation. Use Blu-tack as a temporary filling, they said. A spokesman explained later: ‘Chewing gum is also acceptable as a temporary filling.’
Daily Mail
‘We have black cabinet ministers, judges and doctors, but apparently only false limbs for white people.’ Black woman Ingrid Nicholls who was offered a white artificial leg because black ones were not available on the NHS,
The Times
Warning on an over-the-counter medicine: ‘Do not take this medicine if you suffer from kidney disease or have difficulty urinating unless advised to do so by your doctor.’
Keith Griffiths, Wakefield, West Yorkshire, Daily Mail
A Times reader suffering from slight tendonitis of the upper arm reports that the leaflet accompanying his prescription painkillers warns that possible side-effects might include: ‘Blood disorders, bronchospasms, chest pain, congestive heart failure, constipation, diarrhoea, dizziness, double vision, drowsiness, faintness, fits, fluid retention, giddiness, hair loss, headaches, hearing loss, heartburn, hepatitis, hypertension, hypotension, impotence, inflammation of the colon, inflammation of the pancreas, inflammation of the tongue, jaundice, loss of appetite, loss of memory, loss of weight, mood changes, mouth ulcers, nightmares, palpitations, pneumonitis, skin rashes, sleeplessness, stiff neck, stomach ulcers, swollen ankles, tinnitus, vasculitis and vertigo.’
Still, writes Bob Papworth, of Berkshire, my arm should get better.
The Times
Readers’ letters in The Times told of worrying warnings of possible side-effects that came with their medicines.
One – on quinine sulphur tablets for night cramp – ‘concludes with the somewhat alarming possibilities of “kidney damage, changes to blood cells, low blood pressure, coma and death”.’
Another, prescribed for a persistent sore throat and cough, lists possible side-effects that include: ‘a mild sore throat, coughing and hoarseness.’ The reader writes that her condition did not improve ‘and I am at a loss to know whether the prescription is not working or I am now suffering the side-effects’.
A nurse celebrated New Year’s Day 2004 locked in a lavatory at a nursing home near Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk. Friends passed a straw through the keyhole of the lavatory door to allow her to celebrate with a drink as the chimes of midnight struck. Then firemen arrived to rescue her.
Western Morning News
When Dorothy Fletcher from Liverpool had a heart attack while flying to America for her daughter’s wedding a stewardess asked: ‘Is there a doctor on board?’ Fifteen overhead lights went on – because the flight was full of cardiologists on their way to a conference. ‘They saved my life,’ said Mrs Fletcher. After three days convalescing she was up and about in time for the wedding.
Daily Mirror
Gardening is the ultimate danger sport. One in five of all accidents occur in or around the garden. In 2002, 62,500 adults
