look up to see what her friend’s face might tell her. She didn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt, she thought harshly.
‘How would Jordan and I have done that?’ Lulu asked finally, with a slight hitch to her voice that told Mila she was hurt. Her heart panged.
‘I wasn’t a good enough wife or a good enough mother, Lulu. Can’t you see that?’ Mila was suddenly desperate to make her understand. ‘I should have taken it easy, like Jordan asked me to...’ She faltered, but then continued, ‘I didn’t want Jordan around to remind me of how I had failed.’
‘Even if that made sense—which it absolutely does not—why did you push me away? I wanted to be there for you.’
A trickle of heat ran down Mila’s face. ‘I know you did. But I didn’t deserve someone around who wanted me to feel better about myself.’
‘Oh, Mila...’
Lulu walked to where she was standing and pulled Mila into her arms. On autopilot, Mila returned the hug, too busy thinking about what she had just revealed to her friend—to herself—to be really present in the moment.
‘You deserve everything. Happiness...love.’ Lulu pulled back, her eyes teary. ‘You are good enough. You just need to give yourself permission to believe that.’
Though she wanted to, Mila didn’t waste her breath on asking how she could do that.
‘I’m a mess,’ Lulu said suddenly, wiping at her eyes. ‘Pregnancy hormones are very real.’
‘Yes, they are,’ Mila replied, smiling, but then the smile faded. ‘I’m sorry about everything, Lulu. I shouldn’t have... Well, I should have let you be my friend.’
‘Yeah, you should have.’ Lulu watched her for a moment. ‘Friends are there for one another, Mila. I don’t know how after almost ten years you still don’t know I’m not going anywhere.’
Because for almost double that time I didn’t have anyone to show me what that meant.
But she simply repeated, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Apology accepted,’ Lulu said, and then sat down again. ‘So—tell me the other reason you called.’
A genuine smile crept across her lips. ‘How did you know?’
Lulu gave her a look that had Mila’s smile spreading.
‘I want to start working again. Seriously, this time. Again, I’m sorry I let the ball drop with all the events we should have been doing—’
‘Oh, I’ve been doing them anyway,’ Lulu interrupted.
‘You have?’
Lulu shrugged. ‘It didn’t seem right to let things fall apart just because you needed some time to recover. So I’ve been responding to emails from the website and I forwarded you some so that you’d have something to do.’
Another smile crept onto Mila’s face. ‘You’ve been managing me?’
Lulu let out a small laugh. ‘Yes, maybe I have. But it’s meant that your business hasn’t fallen apart.’
‘Like my personal life, you mean?’ The smile on Mila’s face faltered before she reminded herself that she needed to move on. ‘Thank you, Lulu. That means more than you know.’
‘It wasn’t a big deal. All the details, including the financials are in this binder.’ Lulu reached into her bag—puffing just a little, since it was on the floor—and handed Mila the file. She took it, but didn’t look inside. She trusted Lulu, and knew everything would be in order.
‘I already have our next event,’ Mila said, and explained about the event they needed to plan, the timeline and what she’d already done.
She absorbed Lulu’s shock at the details, and was immensely grateful when Lulu didn’t comment on the fact that she was doing the event with Jordan...or the fact that they were still married. At least that was what she thought.
But after they had spoken about the event in more detail, and just as Lulu was on her way out, her friend said, ‘You know, I was with you when you met Jordan and when you found out you were pregnant. I saw how happy both of those things made you. How happy being a family made you. Maybe finding out you’re still married is a sign for you to try again. A second chance.’
Mila ignored the hope, the fierce desire that sprang up inside her at Lulu’s words. ‘That’s not going to happen.’
‘Why not? You still love him. I know you do. And you’ve always wanted a family, so...’ Lulu trailed off.
‘That doesn’t matter any more, Lulu,’ Mila said firmly. ‘I just want to move on with my life. Focus on my work. Be a good aunt.’ She tried to smile.
Lulu shook her head. ‘If that’s what you really want, I’ll support you. But just make sure it is what you really want. And do me a favour?’
Mila looked up at her.
‘Give yourself permission to think about what you want honestly.’
‘Yeah, I will,’ Mila responded, and then took the time to enjoy having a moment with the only person who had made her feel loved since she was sixteen.
No, that’s not true, she thought, and heard Lulu’s words about Jordan, about family, echo in her head.
Was a second chance possible?
No. She clamped down on the thought. She couldn’t go down that path. Not if she wanted to survive the task they’d been given.
JORDAN WAS RETURNING from his morning run just as Lulu came out through the front door.
‘Hey!’ she exclaimed when she saw him, and Jordan grinned, remembering how much fun she had always been.
She and Mila had been a bundle of light together. It bothered him to see how much of that light had dimmed in Mila, he thought as he saw her, too, and his smile faded.
‘You look great, Lulu,’ he said, focusing his attention on the pretty woman in front of him. And then he saw that she was pregnant and his heart clenched. He suddenly became aware of the way his lungs struggled for air, the way his shoulders felt heavy with grief. He cleared his throat. ‘Congratulations.’
‘Thanks,’ she said softly, and he saw the flash of concern in her eyes.
Because he didn’t need it, he forced out, ‘You finally managed to find someone who deserves you?’
‘Yeah—still my husband.’
She smiled at him kindly and then turned back to Mila, who was watching their exchange with wary eyes.
‘Let me know how this afternoon goes. Like I said, most of the vendors will be there. And I’ll track down
