She didn’t stay at the mirror long enough for the image in it to reply. The truth was, she didn’t need conciliatory words, or more of the lie she’d been telling herself all this time. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the strongest of them all? Why, it’s Bella! Bella, the queen of self-deception.
Rather than taking on a heated debate with herself, Bella pulled on her pink chenille, floor-length bath robe, stepped into her pink bedroom slippers, and headed to the hall, determined to pace up and down until she was exhausted. A nice brisk walk, in a place without the mirror image waiting to taunt her, was good, she decided as she set off, her footsteps silent on the thick, padded carpet.
Five minutes of power-walking from one end of the hall to another didn’t have the desired effect, though, because Bella felt none the worse for her near-marathon pace. But as she was about to set out on her second round by tackling the stairs, the elevator doors at the other end of the hall whooshed open and a young man in neatly pressed gray slacks and a maroon jacket scuttled out, heading straight to the first room on the left. She watched with mild interest, not because it was interesting as much as any diversion was good. It did seem awfully late to have room service delivered, though. Probably some other poor soul who couldn’t sleep, asking for a glass of warm milk.
Warm milk! Why hadn’t she thought of that? Perhaps its soothing effect would help her. Besides, it seemed much more appealing than running up and down the hotel stairs in her pink nightwear, trying to wear herself out. “Excuse me,” she said to the room attendant, trying not to be too loud about it.
He acknowledged her with a nod as the hotel door at which he stood cracked open and he handed in a covered tray. That’s when she heard it…the sound of a crying baby in the room. Naturally, her attention fixed on that as the attendant backed away from the door and the man inside thanked him.
Gabriel Velascos! She recognized his voice but she wasn’t fast enough to get to the door before he shut it. A couple of loud raps remedied that, and a second later he opened the door to her, immediately blinking his obvious surprise. “Do you have built-in radar?” he asked, his voice more weary than stiff. His eyebrows did raise as he took in her pink nightwear.
“Maybe I do.” He was dressed in jeans, and an unbuttoned white cotton shirt that proved a startlingly sexy contrast to his dark skin. Bare feet, mussed hair, the total image of him caused Bella to step back when he opened the door all the way. She shouldn’t be harboring these kinds of thoughts for him. He had been widowed only three days, for heaven’s sake! A man in mourning. He probably hadn’t even had time to bury his wife yet.
Hormonal reaction, she decided. Biological clock ticking hard and fast. A particularly pointless ticking for a woman who was on a road with an uncertain ending to it. Or maybe she was finally tired. “I heard Ana Maria…”
“She’s been crying for the past hour, and I can’t get her to sleep. I had room service bring me sugar water because I thought she might be hungry, and if that doesn’t work…” He shrugged.
Bella went straight to the crib where Ana Maria was having a royal fit, and picked her up. “Is it your tummy again?” she practically cooed, running her fingers lightly over Ana Maria’s belly to check for any distention. None found. Then she felt her cheeks and forehead for a fever and, again, none discovered. “So far, so good,” she said softly, raising the baby to her shoulder, then giving her a light pat on the back. Ana Maria rewarded the effort with a healthy little burp.
“That’s it?” Gabriel sputtered. “That’s all it was?”
“Just a gas bubble. Babies need a little help getting them out, you know.”
“I know that,” he snapped, then immediately shook his head impatiently. “Sorry. I’ve been going crazy worrying about her, and all she needed was a burp. That makes me look pretty stupid, doesn’t it?”
Bella laughed. “Not stupid, just inexperienced. And don’t take it personally. I think you’re a little overwhelmed right now.” She really wanted to ask more about his situation, about his wife’s death, but it wasn’t her place. And she knew from experience that so many questions hurt. People had asked about Rosie, trying to be kind, of course, but the pain had been unbearable. Still was.
“A little overwhelmed is right. And I’m sorry I’m always snapping at you. It’s just that every time you’ve caught me so far I’ve been at my worst.”
Something with which she commiserated as she hadn’t exactly been at her best lately either. “Believe me, I gave up making assumptions and judgments a long time ago. You’re having a bad time right now and I understand completely.” She glanced sideways at Ana Maria, who’d gone right to sleep with her head on Bella’s shoulder. “I think she’s OK,” she whispered.
Gabriel stepped forward to take Ana Maria, but Bella shook her head. “I know you told me you didn’t need my help, but I think you do. So why don’t you go sleep for a few hours, get yourself rested to face all the things you’re going to have to take care of tomorrow, and I’ll take care of Ana Maria, since I’m wrestling with a bout of insomnia anyway? This will keep me from walking the hall all night.”
He studied her for a moment, taking in her pink slippers and moving upward. When he reached her face, a warm smiled flickered across his lips, and for the briefest moment his eyes were so gentle, so…so deep. Then the worry came back, and along with it the scowl he seemed to wear all the time. “I appreciate this, Arabella. It’s been rough, and unexpected. From the time I got word that Lynda had died…” He broke off, swallowed hard. “You’re right. I do need to sleep. So maybe if I can grab a couple of hours my disposition will improve.”
“Your disposition is fine.”
“My disposition is lousy, and you’re too kind to mention it.” He smiled wearily. “But thank you for trying to make me feel better. So, are you sure you don’t mind doing this?”
“I don’t mind,” she said, lowering Ana Maria into her crib. This was what she did after all. She took care of children. That’s how she defined herself, the way she felt safe.
“Then I promise I’ll be nicer when I wake up.” He made a cross-my-heart gesture. “And better with Ana Maria, too.”
Bella smiled at Gabriel, but didn’t say a word as she settled herself into the chair next to the crib. But she did watch him wander into the bedroom of the suite. He’d be a good father given some time and confidence, she thought. Once he got used to it.
Sleep came fast, and hard. He didn’t dream, although he’d thought he would. Didn’t have thoughts of his sister to keep him awake. Once he’d slumped into bed, that was it. He was out cold. But not for long. It had been only three hours, and he was awake again. Now he was being bombarded by the thoughts he’d wanted to avoid, the feelings he’d wanted to dismiss.
He was angry, damned angry. Lynda shouldn’t have died. She had been young, strong, healthy. Sure, women died in childbirth. But why his sister?
He could have been there, should have been there. Maybe he could have done something, seen something. Gotten his sister to a hospital somewhere.
Pacing over to the window, Gabriel pulled back the heavy curtains and looked outside. The city was dark now. And it seemed so…small. When he had been a boy, Iquitos had been the world. It had had everything. And on those few trips when his parents had brought him here, he’d been exposed to amazing culture and things he hadn’t even known existed in this world. But
