are you married?”
“No. Not married, not seriously involved. No children. No future plans in any of those directions. And no more questions on that aspect of my life. So, next question?”
In the dark shadows he could barely make out the brief smile on her lips. Stunning. Lips he would have kissed under different circumstances…a thought that caused him to take a step back. “Would you rather have the bed?” he asked, awkwardly again, then clarified it. “Alone.”
“Under the circumstances, I think you need it more than I do. I’m fine in the chair.” She took a step backward, too. “And I think we should be quiet now. I don’t want Ana Maria to wake up.” She took another step, and turned around. But before she returned to the chair by the crib she turned back to Gabriel, studied him for a moment, then smiled. “Thank you for letting me do this. It makes things better for a little while.”
Better? He wanted to ask what was better, but he didn’t. With all the mixed-up feelings rushing through him just now, he was safer not knowing.
“Damn,” he muttered, as he dropped back down into bed. There were too many complications, and he hated complications. All he wanted was to go back a few days in time, to when Lynda had been alive and happy about her pregnancy, when his life had been just the way he’d planned it. When he hadn’t even known Dr. Arabella Burke existed.
Well, maybe that’s the one thing he would have changed in all this confusion—meeting Arabella. He was glad he had because she was interesting. Outside her obvious physical attributes, and she’d been blessed with more than her fair share, she was smart, compassionate, dedicated. But her sad eyes bothered him, much more than they should have. Much more than he wanted to allow, but he really didn’t have any control over that. Even as he drifted off to sleep again, that’s the image that stayed with him—those sad, sad eyes.
“She’s doing well this morning?” Gabriel asked. He wandered over to the crib and looked down, only to find Ana Maria looking up at him. It was hard looking at her, remembering all his sister’s plans. She’d been so excited when she’d called him with the news of her pregnancy, and every time they’d talked after that she’d been so full of expectation, talking about having more babies, saying how good she felt even though her belly was big and her ankles were swollen. So he still had a difficult time looking at the baby because there was always such an overflow of bitter-sweet memories. “No more upset stomach?” he asked, trying to sound clinical about it.
“She had a very good night. Slept like she should have. I think she’d probably like something a little more substantial than the sugar water in her stomach this morning.”
“Well, I’m on my way down to the front desk to pick up the formula. Señora Hernandez, from the clinic, rang me up a few minutes ago, and she’s waiting downstairs. So, do you mind staying here a little longer?” The truth was, the logistics of handling a baby and doing everything else that needed to be done befuddled him. He’d told the nurse he’d be right down before he’d even considered that he would have to deal with Ana Maria somewhere in that arrangement, too. And carting a baby around while he tried moving several cases of formula wasn’t practical. But he wasn’t disposed to planning ahead the way he needed to now. Wasn’t even in the frame of mind to think of it yet.
It ever there was someone who wasn’t cut out to raise a child…
“We’ll be just fine here,” Bella said. “Take all the time you need. And I think I’ll give Ana Maria a bath. Do you have any clean clothes for her?”
Clean clothes? He’d picked up diapers yesterday, but of all the stupid things he hadn’t thought about clothes! “I, um… No clothes.”
Bella laughed. “We’ll make something work. Don’t worry about it.”
But he had to worry. That was the problem. There were so many things to worry about now, even if he didn’t know what they were. “This won’t take long, then I’ll go out and buy some clothes. Um…would you mind making me a list of other things you think she’ll need?”
“Sure, I’ll have it ready when you bring the formula back to the room. And don’t worry about how long it takes. I don’t exactly have a set schedule here, so my time is whatever I want to make of it, and right now this is what I want to make of it.”
“In case I didn’t mention this before, you’re too good,” he said, hurrying out the door. Waiting at the elevator, he tried concentrating on his mental task list, but Arabella kept distracting him. He didn’t really date much, and he didn’t date for long because he hated getting out of commitments, and anything more than two or three dates turned into a commitment. But he was doing well in his practice, loving the lifestyle and not in a particular hurry to change it. Still, with Arabella he saw permanence and commitment, which should have scared him to death. Yet it didn’t, and all he could do was think that when his life settled down again, he might look her up. The distance from Chicago to San Francisco wasn’t that far, after all.
More evidence of crazy, mixed-up emotions, he decided. His life was suddenly out of control and, subconsciously, Arabella presented a good solution. Jumping too far ahead of himself the way he was didn’t mean anything more than a little panic attack. In a life that now had to be lived from moment to moment until he could figure out the best way to manage all parts of it, there were no future plans other than getting through the day. Especially future plans that included permanence and commitment.
But honey-colored hair and green eyes certainly attracted him like he hadn’t been attracted in a while…like he’d never been attracted before, actually, and that had nothing to do with plans or futures or babies or anything else. And for the life of him it didn’t seem all that crazy and mixed up, which proved just how crazy and mixed up it really was.
So, who was this stranger who’d stepped into his life and become so important in what had taken no longer than the blink of an eye? Apart from what he’d been told about her medical qualifications, who was Arabella Burke?
“Dr. Velascos,” Nurse Hernandez said, extending her thin hand to him. “I’m assuming you know what this is about, that Melaina Juarez suggested our meeting?” She also extended a thin, nervous smile. Señora Hernandez was older, probably close to his mother’s age, with black and gray-streaked hair pulled back into a tight knot, and she wore a starchy white uniform like he rarely saw on nurses these days.
Gabriel took her hand and noted her firm shake. Judging by her grip, she was a woman who meant business. Judging from the tight expression on her face, she was well ready to get on with it. “I was aware that they were helping with the arrangements, yes. And thank you for coming, Señora Hernandez. Although you didn’t have to bother. I’d have been happy coming to you.”
She cocked her head slightly to the left, frowning. “That’s not necessary, Doctor. Considering the circumstances of the arrangements we usually make, it’s our aim to make this transition as easy as possible on you.”
Something was wrong here, and he didn’t like the way the warning hairs were standing up on the back of his neck. “What are we talking about, Señora Hernandez? The baby formula?”
“Not formula, Doctor. The adoption of your niece. Melaina Juarez informed us that you’re involved in a very difficult situation over your sister’s death, and that you might be agreeable with allowing us to find a proper home for the child. Ana Maria is her name, I believe?”
Gabriel took a step backward, opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again for several
