you never expected to have a baby in your life, and that you didn’t know what to do? Melaina indicated that you didn’t want the child.”
Had it seemed like that? Yesterday was such a blur he couldn’t remember. But there had been conversation while Ana Maria had been under observation for those few hours, and maybe something he’d said had been misinterpreted. Or perhaps he’d been overcome by the whole emotional roller-coaster, and saying something he hadn’t meant. “You’re correct. I didn’t expect to have a child, and no, I’m not thrilled about making the change in my life that will be necessary, but you’re mistaken if you think I’d give away my sister’s baby. Because I won’t!”
“I know this is a trying time for you, Doctor. But let me make it clear what we do. We place children in good, loving homes where children are wanted. Our waiting lists are long, our clients worthy and we do an extensive search of their backgrounds. For people such as yourself, it’s an ideal situation.” She handed him a packet of information. “I’d like you to consider what we have to offer your niece. Getting her into a nice, stable family situation where she’s wanted, and doing it at such a young age, is to her benefit. So, please, just read the brochures, and I’ll contact you in a day or two.”
“I’m not letting anybody take Ana Maria!” Adoption wasn’t a solution he’d considered, wasn’t even a solution he liked. Not for his flesh and blood. But if worse came to worst? Could he turn over Lynda’s child?
Not a chance in hell! That answer came to him in a fraction of a second, which surprised him because he hadn’t realized his feelings were so strong. But they were. Something else would work out, but it would have nothing to do with giving Ana Maria to strangers. Even the thought of that made him sick to his stomach. “Look, I appreciate your coming here like this, Señora Hernandez, but I don’t think…”
She laid a comforting hand on his forearm. “It’s too early to think, Dr. Velascos. That’s why we urge our prospective clients to take all the time they need. It’s a serious situation, giving up a child, and we certainly don’t want anyone making a decision they’ll later regret. So, please, just read the information. That’s all I’m asking you to do right now.”
Gabriel drew in a sharp breath. Too much, too soon. He wasn’t prepared to deal with any of this yet. “I know you’re only doing your job, but I’m not going to have anyone adopt my niece. Whatever Melaina Juarez might have thought I meant was incorrect, and I’m sorry for any inconvenience I’ve caused. I was under stress and I may have said some things that were mistaken as an intention to give away the baby, but that’s certainly not what I’m going to do.” It seemed abominable, but there was no need being brutal to the woman.
“It’s never easy, Dr. Velascos. But think about what’s best for Ana Maria.” She stepped back. “I have appointments in a few of the villages near Lado De la Montaña over the next few days, so I’ll be back in touch with you in due course.”
He didn’t say yes, he didn’t say no. And maybe he should have. But the image running through his mind as Señora Hernandez walked away from him was one where she was taking Ana Maria with her, and that caused such a sudden and unexpected pain in his gut he couldn’t speak. Couldn’t utter a single word.
“Breakfast?”
Bella nodded. “I called room service. But since I didn’t know what you’d like, I had them bring several different things.”
He looked at the cart full of sweet rolls and various juices and tea, but he just didn’t have the stomach to eat any of it.
“And they brought up the formula, too.”
She pointed to where the stack of cases was sitting next to the door, but he was more interested in watching the way she stood at the window, rocking Ana Maria back in forth in her arms—the perfect picture of motherhood. It made him sad, and angry all over again. Not at her, but at…everything. And the baby formula was just another reminder of how his life was changing in ways he couldn’t control. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, Arabella, but I can’t keep depending on you the way I’ve been doing. We’ve taken up too much of your time.”
“I have nothing but time. And I thought you wanted to go buy some baby clothes.”
He looked at the way she’d tied Ana Maria into one of his T-shirts. There were so many things he needed to do, and shopping for baby clothes was only one of them. “We’ll manage.” Easy to say, but not easy to do.
“Why don’t I stay here for a little while longer? Taking care of Ana Maria makes me feel like I’m back in my element, and I’ve needed that.”
Under the circumstances, the best he could do was offer Bella a stiff nod. Now that the formula was here, it was suddenly all about the days ahead of him. He was on the brink of raising a child. There was nothing to put off any longer. This was his new reality, his new life, and he was drowning in it.
“Go run your errands, Gabriel,” she said gently. “I think it’s all catching up with you and maybe getting out for a little while, taking a walk, clearing your head, will do you some good.” She handed him the list. “I called the front desk and was told there’s a little mercantile two blocks over that will have everything Ana Maria needs.”
“You always think of everything, don’t you?” Another time, another place, she could have been the one to change his mind about so many things. “Look, Arabella, I appreciate this more than you can know. It’s all too new to me. Nothing I’d planned for, nothing that I’d really wanted at this point in my life, nothing that really fits into my lifestyle, and it’s going to take some getting used to.” He pulled the adoption agency papers from his pocket, crumpled them and tossed them at the trash can next to the door. Then he stepped forward. “This won’t take me long.”
“Go do your errands, Gabriel. Take all the time you need. We’ll be just fine here.”
“Thank you,” he said, reaching out to brush her cheek. He wanted to touch her, to feel the softness of her skin, but he caught himself in time and pulled back. Then Gabriel walked out the door, shut it firmly behind him, took five steps toward the elevator, and slumped against the hall wall, breaking out in a profuse sweat. Shaking hands, tight chest, wobbly knees, sagging shoulders…it was all finally beginning to sink in. This was happening to him. Really happening to him.
As if on cue, the baby started crying the split second Gabriel closed the door, to which Bella responded by pacing back and forth across the room, cuddling and rocking her. “It’s going to be just fine,” she reassured the infant. “Your daddy will get over his jitters and the two of you will get along just fine. I know it’s tough not having a mother. I didn’t have one for very long. But you’ll have a good life with your daddy as soon as he calms down.” Was Gabriel a man who’d counted on his wife doing all the parenting? Was that why he was such an emotional mess when it came to the baby? Or perhaps he hadn’t wanted a child at all. He’d said something about not planning on this? So maybe there’d been problems with his wife over her pregnancy then, when she’d died, the remorse over it had set in. They could have argued the way she and Rosie had argued that last time…
That was a bitter guilt she understood very well.
She’d done everything but cope with her sister’s death these past weeks and, even now, when she was on the verge of coming face-to-face with the hardest thing she’d ever had to do in her life, she was avoiding it every way she could. Including getting involved with Gabriel and Ana Maria. That’s why she recognized that Gabriel was avoiding the inevitable
