another. But the nice thing about the Enneagram is that, as a dynamic model, it assumes, and even aims toward, your continued development. Alice, who originally had a type that avoids conflict, can learn to confront others. Stan, whose tendency is to dominate the room, can learn to listen more to others. But some people can also be less characterized by the weaknesses of their types because those who have influenced them already took care to teach them certain concepts in this respect. Margaret, for example, says, “Helping others was important in our family.” She demonstrates a lot of Type 2 behavior, although that isn’t her own type mechanism. I also often see that people develop in exactly the area representing their greatest weakness and also the weakness that bothers them the most. Because they pay a lot of attention to this weakness, they can also compensate well. For that reason, I always tell people to use the Enneagram with great reservation and caution when it comes to employee recruitment. A person’s development and learning capacities are more important than their type.
Using your type as an excuse for your mistakes
Tina recently learned about the Enneagram and discovered that she can see a lot of the Type 3 mechanism in herself, which helps her understand the criticism she used to receive from her project team. That’s good, but now she keeps referring to it as an excuse: “I’m sorry for getting impatient, but I’m a 3, after all, and I care about speed” or “I’m sorry that I’m not considerate of your feelings, but, as a type 3, I don’t have much talent for this.”
It is precisely because you get to know your type and reach more self-awareness that these are no longer excuses for you. Because you now have a deeper insight and have become conscious of your strengths and weaknesses, you also get pointers on where to start developing your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses. Knowing about your type, in other words, is no excuse to stand still with your type's weaknesses and especially not to let them simply run wild.
Don’t believe the hype — try it yourself
In the Enneagram tradition, your own experiences are vital — this is not about blindly believing in something. That’s why, in the practice described in this book, the focus is on developing your own observational and analytical skills. A good starting point for this task is to not just adopt something out of hand but rather to explore it yourself. You can also find this advice in the Bible: “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21). This is the path toward self-awareness and development. Give it a try!
May I Introduce You to My Type?
So that you can develop an image of the nine Enneagram types as quickly as possible, the following sections offer nine summaries of the various internal mechanisms associated with each type.
Type 1: The Perfectionist
Mary is a perfectionist who has (subconsciously) established standards for herself to decide what is acceptable and what is not — to decide how things should be and how they should not. Being furious, for example, is not acceptable. She sees fury as an undesirable emotion and thus suppresses her rage. Instead, Mary is often annoyed — when other people don’t behave the way they should or the way it was agreed on or the way you'd expect any responsible adult to act. To make sure that Mary herself knows explicitly that she’s behaving properly or doing something well, she sets the bar high. When you do something perfectly, after all, you don’t run the risk of being wrong and being criticized, because being criticized definitely bothers Mary. She is so critical toward herself because she sees it as a way to prevent herself from doing something wrong. Her attention is thus directed toward perfectionism and avoiding mistakes. As a result, Mary has a nose for improving whatever can be improved.
Type 2: The Provider
Roy cares a lot about being accepted and appreciated. He achieves this goal by having a strong orientation toward other people and by being considerate toward others (more than toward himself). He has developed a feel for the needs of others in order to better assist them. He notices when someone needs help, and being useful makes him feel good. Roy has developed many talents that he uses to serve others. Many of these talents are in the organizational and social areas. He is active in many groups and committees, at his children’s school, at the sports club, and so on. Roy has less talent for accepting anything from anybody, especially if he believes that he didn’t earn it first.
Type 3: The Achiever
As a child, Tina already realized how much she enjoys being the center of attention and drawing applause whenever she succeeds at an endeavor. Unconsciously, she arrived at the belief that she is loved for what she does, not for who she is. For this reason, Tina is strongly oriented toward achievements so that she can be successful — the best in every effort. She has also experienced things not improving by themselves but rather because her efforts are needed to bring about a successful conclusion. Tina has developed habits such as working hard, competing, and building up and maintaining a good image. She has a nose for getting into (or creating) situations that bring acclaim. She has a preference for projects because those tend to have a finish line — and a chance of applause at the end. She won’t join projects and teams with a low chance of success or where acclaim can be gained only after investing a lot of time and effort. The faster she finishes the items on her list, the sooner she will succeed. That’s why Tina likes efficient solutions and efficient work.
Type 4: The Individualist
Tim often has the subliminal feeling of being incomplete, as though something is missing in him and his life. He thus has an unconscious longing for greater fulfillment and for being complete. His attention is drawn to the positive and attractive, to that which he longs for in the future as well as in the past. Tim lives less in the here-and-now because that only bores him and lets him know what he’s missing. In his need to be seen, he tends to distinguish himself from others. He often has the sense that others don’t understand him. On one hand, this fills him with sadness and loneliness, though on the other hand, he feels superior — as though he is special. After all, he has a lot more depth, which only makes it natural that others can’t understand him. At the same time, Tim longs for a deeper connection with others; this is one of the many contradictions that he has to battle internally. He has a distinctive emotional life; he experiences high peaks as well as deep valleys, but this is exactly what gives him the sense that he’s living intensely and meaningfully. His mantra is, “I feel; therefore, I am.”
Type 5: The Observer
Alice has the need to understand life and people, to get to the bottom of any mystery about them. She is guided by this need because she finds life strenuous and is uncertain how she can participate fully in it. As a child, she was already an outsider, observing social relations, yet not feeling free or uninhibited enough to participate in them spontaneously. By watching how others handled social situations and trying to understand and sort things in her mind, she wanted to control both the situation and herself. Alice has developed the habit of keeping a low profile. When she makes herself less visible, people demand less of her less often. Having knowledge gives Alice the pleasant feeling of being independent of others, which is how she protects herself against intrusive questions and expectations. Her reasoning ability is her most important tool in life, but she doesn't quite know how to handle feelings. They cause unrest and chaos in her mind. Alice loves the seclusion of her room and her apartment. When she feels overwhelmed, she feels the need to withdraw. She likes intellectual problems; facts and figures; and analysis and structural thinking.
