6: The Loyal Skeptic
Ian has experienced internal and external insecurity since childhood. He doesn’t like unpredictable situations. The prism through which he sees the world lets him sense where the danger lies and where the risks are at any moment. That’s why he became accustomed to being vigilant. If you’re alert, you see the danger ahead; you’re less likely to be caught off-guard. Because of this alertness, Ian often imagines problems where none exists. On a human level, he tends to wait and see. He unconsciously remains suspicious until someone has proven themselves to be trustworthy. The greatest source of the insecurity, by the way, is Ian himself. Deep inside, he has little confidence, let alone self-confidence, which is why he often has doubts — about himself as well as his (yet to be made) decisions.
Type 7: The Optimist
Louise sees herself reflected in the Optimist type. At some point, she learned that life can limit you, take away your freedom, and be painful. Louise doesn’t like that. The habits she has developed to deal with this fact-of-life consist of avoiding pain and keeping open many options and possibilities. Even if these options and possibilities exist only as mental images, they still give her a sense of freedom. Louise likes it when life is easy. Her attention is drawn to pleasantness and possibilities. A positive experience that takes place on the way is more important than the destination. Louise often has a full schedule. When she speaks with people, she quickly becomes fascinated by them, and what they say gives her new ideas. Louise thinks that it’s more exciting to start things than to finish them, which means it’s often hard for her to keep her mind on the matter without being distracted by new and fascinating distractions. Louise is an optimist who immediately sees the positive side of situations. Sometimes, she grows tired and occasionally wishes for a Tune Out button she can press to relax.
Type 8: The Boss/Protector
Stan experienced the schoolyard as a jungle, a place where the strong survive and take charge, at the expense of the weak. So he felt unprotected as a child. He sees the world as tough and unfair. Even before he was ten years old, he decided he would belong to the group of strong kids and protect himself. Fighting is a natural part of Stan’s existence, including the battles against the injustices of the world that he finds he cannot accept. He also feels a strong need to protect others, although that need doesn't necessarily extend to everyone. In this regard, he tends to extend his protection only to those he feels actually need help, such as children, animals, the elderly, and the sick. He abhors the victim mentality, where people present themselves as weak and dependent and yet, to Stan's way of thinking, are perfectly capable of taking good care of themselves. He often sees the world in black-and-white terms. He has his own truth and tends to deny or ignore the truth of others. He often comes across as in-your-face and confrontational.
Type 9: The Mediator
Margaret feels good when she can participate in whatever is happening at the moment. Feeling relaxed and in harmony is important to her — more important than her own opinions, her own views, and her own plans, for example. When she is around others, all of these fade into the background for her; she can — temporarily — forget all about them. She isn’t aware of this — it just happens. No matter how firmly she sets her mind to doing many things for herself on a Saturday — as soon as a girlfriend calls or her partner makes plans, Margaret’s plans are forgotten. She has the great strength of being able to consider many viewpoints and see situations from all sides. Because she avoids confrontations, she already sees a confrontation if she doesn’t agree with someone’s opinion or suggestion. When that happens, it’s easier to follow another person’s wish, thus preserving harmony. Given Margaret's habit of quickly acquiescing to others, she has difficulty perceiving what she herself truly wants. She needs space and time away from others to come to herself, find her own point of view, and arrive at what she wants from life.
Numbers, archetypes, names
Keep in mind that the nine personality structures were originally designated with numbers. To make the types easier to recognize, later authors added archetypal interpretations to the numbers, such as the Provider and the Observer. This was intended to make it easier for people to get started with the Enneagram.
In this book, I'm designating these types a bit differently. I've just introduced nine people to you: Mary (Type 1), Roy (Type 2), Tina (Type 3), Tim (Type 4), Alice (Type 5), Ian (Type 6), Louise (Type 7), Stan (Type 8) and Margaret (Type 9). You'll get to know them even better in this book — they play the lead roles here. When I explain the theory, I write Type 1; when I provide an example, I write the nickname, such as Mary. This makes it all a little more personal.
Only the Sun Rises for Free
When you travel, you choose a means of transportation that fits you and your travel plans. If your destination is a sunny island, you take a plane; when you travel to a beach, you probably take a train or car. In my opinion, people who embark on the great adventure of personal or professional development face a similar choice. For this, you also need a means of transportation that you hope will fit you and your journey perfectly. But it’s often not that easy to find. Information about biking or riding a train or a plane is generally accessible and the choice is usually easy. When it comes to a means of transportation that helps you with your personal development, however, this often turns into its own journey of discovery. The information isn’t as open or clearly available. I see people on this journey of discovery who rush from seminar to workshop, from one method to another, to find a means of transportation that is most suitable for them. I hope that the Enneagram and this book take you to the destination you’re aiming for.
From my own experience with others, I know that people like to take the path of least resistance and they prefer to find a quick solution — one that delivers fast and impressive results with little effort. But just like with diets, this is an illusion. Many diets and methods provide a fast, short-term result with low exertion, but this success rarely lasts long. Similar to miracle diets, people try out numerous workshops that often (but definitely not always!) promise effortless, fast results. Deep down, you may also be looking for a magic bullet. And so I want to be honest from the start: If you want to benefit from the true potential of the Enneagram, you won’t reach your goal the day after tomorrow.
Working with the Enneagram requires dedication, effort, and perseverance before it gives you what you’re looking for. That’s why I like the term internal work, because it doesn’t raise false expectations. But I can say sincerely that your efforts will be rewarded. Many people who took this path before you found out that it may not be the path of least resistance, though it is a lasting investment that has yielded a great return to many people — maybe a happy (or happier) relationship, to name just one example. If that’s not worth an investment, I'm not sure what is.
Tips for Optimal Learning
What is the optimal way to learn? In this section, you can find tips that will help you in your studies of the Enneagram and assist you in adopting its method:
Be curious: Children have an enormous learning capacity. They learn by playing, due to their childish curiosity. From an early age, they inspect everything in the big, strange world in which
