is training your attentiveness — also referred to as mindfulness nowadays.
You can’t not direct your attention toward something. Human attention always has a target. People aren’t aware of this — it just happens. The “something” that your attention is directed toward is the object of your attention.
Your attention is always directed toward a single object. Neurobiological research confirms the observations by the monks: In the best-case scenario, you can quickly jump back-and-forth between things so quickly that it looks as though you were directing your attention toward everything at the same time. However, brain research shows that people quickly switch around — you’re always directing your attention toward a single thing at a time.LOVE IS PAYING ATTENTION; PAYING ATTENTION IS LOVEPaying attention is a way of expressing love. If something or someone is important to you — so important that you can call it love — then this something or person will also be the focus of your attention. The love you express for something or someone can be expressed by specifically paying attention in the form of doing something for the object or person. Sometimes, it’s less the activity itself than the way you direct attention to this thing or person. For many people, their own children are certainly the best examples. Studies have shown that a mother can recognize the crying of her own baby among a number of crying children. In the turmoil of a schoolyard, parents immediately find their children. Paying attention consists of truly seeing and truly hearing your child. As a result, the child in turn feels seen and heard. This is love that is expressed in paying attention, and from this attention, you can see the love.With the Enneagram, this is considered the pure attention that arises from persons being connected to themselves and connecting with others from that position of strength. That's attention on a different level — not doing, but being (conscious attention, in other words). Every healthy person can learn to train the conscious self by developing and paying conscious attention. The first step consists of seeing where your attention is unconsciously directed. Recognizing inside yourself which Enneagram type best describes your patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting offers you a foundation from which to observe the unconscious objects of your attention. Those objects designate the place on which you focus your attention — the place that causes each respective type (and person) the most worry.Love is paying attention; paying attention is love.
Your attention automatically wanders from one object to the next. You might have noticed that it seems extremely difficult to keep your attention focused on one object for a prolonged period. As soon as the next object appears, your attention automatically flies toward it. People are distracted — when you keep your attention on one object for a prolonged period, it’s called concentration — and it requires real training. When you can hold an object (a thing or a person) in your thoughts, and maybe even visualize it, it’s called object constancy.
Uncovering your underlying driving forces or unconscious motivations
Energy follows attentiveness
During the Holiday season, the house that belongs to Tina (Type 3) is always the most beautifully decorated one on the street. She gets a lot of compliments for it each year, and it makes her feel good. They give her a good feeling, but, unfortunately, it doesn’t last long. When the praise has settled, Tina immediately gets the urge to concentrate on something else that will also be applauded — because she has discovered that applause is important to her. Now, you might say: “What is wrong with someone enjoying their efforts to decorate a house for Holiday?” Nothing, of course. I'm a fan of Holiday decorations and you might be, too. But here the question is whether it is done freely — just because it brings joy — or whether it’s based on the underlying driving force of the type mechanism. Tina realized that, for her, it’s the latter. She sometimes tells herself to maybe do a little less this year, but she has a hard time limiting herself.
This is just one small example of patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. These three aspects inside you can’t be separated from each other. At some point, Tina (unconsciously) started to believe that accomplishments are prerequisites for being seen and loved. This is important to her because the praise makes her feel good. Because it makes her feel good, her attention and energy are unconsciously focused on receiving this applause. This is how thinking and feeling influence each other and are implemented in action — in this case, in an activity intended to attract applause.
Many people like to receive praise, but for some people, like Tina, this need plays an overpowering role in their daily lives. Her antennas for applause, so to speak, are constantly in reception mode. This driving force forms the pattern for her thinking, feeling, and acting and gives her life content. The Enneagram knows nine of these driving forces, each of which forms the foundation of a certain automatic pattern.
Recognizing what holds your attention
It’s difficult to start observing yourself when you don’t know what to watch for. Tina discovered her most important underlying driving force after using the Enneagram to observe herself for some time and reflecting on her observations. All at once, several things became clear and visible to her. If this is your first encounter with the Enneagram and you’re reading the book from the beginning, you might not have a clear idea in which of the nine types you will most recognize yourself. (See Chapter 2 for a review.) No worries: I’ll help you take it one step at a time. If your curiosity gets to be too much for you and you want to get a first impression of your type, you can check out on the Internet some of the quick tests for finding out.
