Enneagram For Dummies. Jeanette van Stijn
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Assume that two people have a difference of opinion. One shouts out “No!” while the other shouts “Yes!” If no third force intervenes, they will continue to shout “No! Yes! No! Yes!” because they’re stuck in their positions. Nothing can set them in motion. And, as a result, nothing changes. Now suppose that a third person joins them, who neutralizes the “No! Yes!” and, for example, offers a creative solution, one that is acceptable for both “No!” and “Yes!” Only then does something happen.
Let's see what all the shouting is about:
Active force: active, positive, giving, male.
Receptive force: passive, negative, receptive, female.
Reconciling force: unifying, neutral, connecting, impartial.
Consider the famous Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
You can find many versions of this prayer, though its origin and author are unclear. It’s attributed to many people, from the emperor/philosopher Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD) to St. Francis of Assisi to Nelson Mandela. The most likely explanation is that it was written by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) between 1937 and 1943.
This prayer can also be considered an example of the rule of threes. Here the active force is “to change what I can change,” and the receptive force is “to accept what I cannot change.” You can probably imagine what these two refer to. The third force is the reconciling force of consciousness or awareness. You can only evaluate the first two forces to know which to apply when you place them side-by-side. Humans perceive light because there is darkness, and vice versa. They think in comparisons; you can see differences by placing contrasts next to each other. The third force is needed to find and perform the right action. Back to the prayer: If you can’t differentiate what you can and can’t change, neither can you decide what would be the right course of action (changing things or accepting them).
It’s helpful to research and recognize these three forces in themselves. If you want to keep developing but aren’t making progress, only one or two forces are likely working inside you. In Gurdjieff’s teaching, the desire for development is considered an active force, and the resistance of the ego (which doesn’t want development) or the dormant state of the normal mental condition is the passive force. If only these two are present, it’s true that nothing will change, exactly as in the “No! Yes!” argument. The resistance of the ego literally swallows up any energy there might be to become active. This leaves little energy left over for growth. Self-management can also be referred to as energy management. You can learn to manage your energy so that you have enough energy available for further development and spiritual growth. Gurdjieff offers interesting lessons for the West on this topic as well. He writes that, in this regard, the unconscious has as many holes as a sieve and lets people’s energy flow into all kinds of things. One example is speaking. It can be a leisurely activity, but also something that deprives you of a lot of energy. Have you ever experienced how tired you are after a phone call or a meeting? As if you were drained? According to Gurdjieff, you should see this as literally true. Is that bad? Not in itself, if speaking has brought you what you wanted. But have you also ever felt that you were completely exhausted and seen everything as a waste of time and energy?
Let's look one more time at the rule of threes. In the Enneagram, it’s pictured as a triangle linking Types 3, 6, and 9. Point 3 stands for the active, positive force; point 6, for the receptive, negative force; and point 9, for the neutralizing, connecting force. This also corresponds to the characters and energy forms of people with types 3, 6, and 9.
In anticipation of my discussion of the spiritual aspects of the Enneagram (see Chapter 17), I list the higher or sacred virtues of these three types in Figure 3-2: faith, hope, and love. It’s no coincidence that these virtues, praised by St. Paul in his First Letter to the Corinthians, are also an example of the rule of threes. (See? You've known about this rule of threes all along!)
FIGURE 3-2: The rule of threes.
For St. Paul, the virtues of faith, hope, and love stand for something greater than these three words usually do in everyday language. The higher virtue of love is the greatest of all virtues: It comes first for Type 9, where the circle begins and ends. The Enneagram instructor and Franciscan priest Richard Rohr considers the holy virtues as an invitation from God, an offer of the unifying power of love, an offer to become receptive to faith, and an offer to hope actively and positively.
On the Path to Inner Freedom
The goal of working with the Enneagram is to discover your internal autopilot. When we know your personality structure, it’s easier for you to consider this autopilot from the perspective of your internal observer. You can discover your personality structure on your own, but when you use the nine designs of the Enneagram, you can save some effort and get to know yourself much faster and more thoroughly. Your next step is to learn the basics of self-reflection — that internal dialogue with yourself that you use to interpret what has taken place inside of you. Then comes the challenge of being able to let go of your type as soon as it switches to autopilot. The path of inner freedom leads to personal mastery. For you, personal mastery means being alert, present, conscious, and in control of what is inside yourself.
Chapter 4
Discovering Your Type
IN THIS CHAPTER