I feel it is a significant reality so I accept it. (Siana)
Some people are this way. They are set on both sexes (not undecided). I prefer not to socialize with them. When they do I feel intruded upon.
I have no interest in dating or having sex with bisexual women. They have men in their lives and I want nothing to do with them. (Keesha)
But most of the women who took time to defend the existence of bisexuality do feel positively about it and believe that it should be recognized as a sexual orientation on a par with lesbianism and heterosexuality.
Everyone Is Bisexual
Alongside the ever-present charge that bisexuality does not exist, there is also another idea about bisexuality that winds its way through the lesbian debate over bisexuality—the idea that everyone, or almost everyone, is really bisexual. This idea, expressed by one lesbian in six, recalls Freud’s assertion that each individual is born with an unshaped sexual potential that becomes focused on particular objects as the individual matures psychologically and socially. Individuals whose sexual energies become focused on people of the other sex are heterosexuals and individuals whose sexual energies become focused on people of their own sex are homosexuals. It follows, therefore, that the unshaped sexual potential is a bisexual potential; everyone is born with the potential to relate sexually with either people of the other sex or people of their own sex. For example,
I think all of us are basically bisexual. We each have the potential to have sexual, affectional, emotional feelings for persons of either gender. (Ellen)
It’s fine. I believe all people are capable of the gamut of sexual experience. (Kim)
Bisexuality is the ability of an individual to be sexually and emotionally attracted to either sex. I believe the majority of people have this capability if they were truly in tune with their feelings. (Renée)
These three comments reveal slight differences in the way these three respondents conceptualize bisexual potential. Ellen conceptualizes it as the capacity to have sexual and emotional feelings for both genders, whereas Kim conceptualizes it as the potential to have actual sexual experiences with both genders. Ellen and Kim made blanket statements that all people have bisexual potential, whereas Renée’s comment is a bit less sweeping; she believes that a majority of people have this potential. All three believe that bisexuality is no more than a potential and that many people might never realize this potential by having actual feelings or sexual experiences with both genders.
The idea that people are initially or potentially bisexual but then “sort themselves out” into lesbianism and heterosexuality is a recurrent theme in lesbians’ comments. This argument allows lesbians to reconcile a belief in the prevalence of bisexuality with the scarcity of people who actually appear to be bisexual. Some respondents expressed this distinction between potential and actual sexuality as a distinction between being and doing,
In truth what we all are . . . what few can possibly practice. (Nancy)
or as a distinction between potential feelings and actual behavior:
I believe that people have the possibility of falling in love with either gender but love and sexuality are not always equated. (Carol)
Others argued that social and political factors cause the transformation of bisexual potential into monosexual reality. These factors include homophobia that prevents women from recognizing their attraction for other women,
It seems to be a natural development of most people, in terms of desire. Because of this country’s homophobia, the practice of bisexuality seems less common. (Judith)
rejection of bisexuals by both the lesbian and heterosexual communities,
Actually I think most people are bisexual. They just tend to identify with one sexuality because it’s practically impossible to switch back and forth without being ostracized from your peers. (Maureen)
the lack of a supportive bisexual community,
I think that it is very common, if not ubiquitous for women to be sexually attracted to both sexes at some times in their lives . . . I think it must be difficult to maintain a bisexual lifestyle because of the lack of a support community. I think people tend to sort themselves at one node or another. (Pamela)
socialization,
I think it would be many people’s choice if we were not taught to identify as either straight or gay. (Jane)
or personal experiences:
. . . by nature we are all bisexual. . . Our choices are based mostly on social sex roles, somewhat on who’s there for us when we’re ready to be sexual. (Alice)
Many lesbians described an ideal society in which these social and political factors would not operate, and in which everyone would be able to express the full range of their sexual capacities without constraint. Some stated simply that in such a society, bisexuality would be more common. For example, Cindy thinks that “it is a state of being that some people exist in and that in a different society and time maybe we would all have the capacity for.” Others argued that bisexuality itself would be a different phenomenon in an ideal society than it is in contemporary society. In the ideal society, bisexuality itself would be ideal, i.e., desirable and even beneficial. But under current political circumstances, bisexuality takes on a very different meaning:
In a perfect world perhaps it would be the norm . . . however, this is not a perfect world . . . so . . . I think bisexuality is often a way of keeping at bay the bad/negative aspects of homophobia while enjoying a lot of the good parts of the lesbian community. (Rebecca)
. . . really I believe humans are “naturally” bisexual or multisexual. But in contemporary culture, I think sexuality is so tied to emotional and political issues that to be bisexual is to refuse to make a stand. (Margaret)
Among lesbians who believe that bisexuality would be the norm in an ideal society but are unable to accept it in this society, some experience their mixed feelings as ambivalence, or are confused by their own contradictory emotions:
Part of me would like to believe that there can exist a perfect society, truly spiritual, whole, undiscriminate (sic), where women, men have become, have progressed to a sexless society—which then allows one to call themselves bisexual (for want of a better term.) (Joan)
I think that ideally all people are born with the physical potential to relate to both sexes . . . Today I feel as if society is so repressive that our sexuality is less fluid. I have nothing against women or men who are bisexual. I guess emotionally I feel some kind of resentment for some unknown reason! (Laura)
Not all lesbians who believe that most or all people are bisexual used concepts like “potential” or “ideal” to explain this belief. Many asserted that bisexuality is universal or widespread here and now. Among these lesbians, references to a continuum of sexuality or to “degrees” of sexuality/bisexuality were frequent. For example, June feels that “most people, women and men, are to a certain extent bisexual—but this constitutes a continuous scale, not clear distinctions between straight, bisexual, or gay.” Although there are differences of opinion over
