Lesbians like Juanita who define bisexuality in terms of equal attractions for women and men generally hold more negative attitudes toward bisexuals than lesbians like Martha who define bisexuality as a broader range of feelings toward both women and men. The former typically believe that while most people experience attractions toward both women and men, everyone or almost everyone has a preference one way or the other. They feel that people should identify themselves as lesbian or heterosexual according to their preferences, and many expressed antagonism or impatience with people who do not. In contrast, the latter are generally very tolerant or accepting of bisexuality. Those who define bisexuality as encompassing a broad range of varying feelings of attraction toward women and men disagree, however, on the issue of whether people with bisexual feelings should act on these feelings. Some believe that they should,
I don’t have any problems with it. If someone is attracted to both men and women, I think they should act upon it—it’s not healthy to hide feelings like that. (Frances)
whereas others believe that they should not.
Lesbians who define bisexuality in terms of a broad range of feelings toward women and men expressed concerns about bisexuality, but their concerns are very different from those expressed by lesbians who define bisexuality behaviorally. Instead of being concerned about bisexual women’s heterosexuality and integrity, they are concerned about the difficulties that bisexual women must face. These difficulties include personal problems, such as combining two very different types of love, and social hardships, such as a lack of acceptance by both the lesbian and heterosexual societies:
It must be very difficult to be a bisexual because of the tremendous difference between loving women and loving men. I have trouble understanding/relating to “bi’s.” (Georgia)
For persons attracted to both genders, I feel both envy and pity. They, in theory, could have the best of two worlds, but in reality, I fear usually neither gays or non-gays trust and accept them. (Abigail)
Many, like Georgia, confessed that they have difficulty understanding bisexuality, usually explaining that it is so removed from their own experience that they cannot relate to it. Some have trouble understanding attractions to men because they have never felt attracted to men themselves, whereas others have trouble understanding how people could be attracted to both sexes. Nevertheless, their comments convey a note of tolerance and even warmth that is generally lacking from the comments of those who define bisexuality in terms of behavior or in terms of equal attractions to women and men. For example, Thelma accepts what she cannot understand:
I feel accepting of my friends who identify themselves as bisexual. I don’t understand their ability to feel sexually attracted to and satisfied by both men and women. (Thelma)
In summary, lesbians who define bisexuality in terms of feelings of attraction toward women and men are divided over the question of whether bisexuality should be defined as an equal attraction toward women and men, or as a combination of attractions toward women and men of varying degrees. Lesbians who define bisexuality in terms of equal attractions generally take a dim view of people who call themselves bisexual because they believe that most people have a preference for either women or men and that most bisexual-identified people use the bisexual label to avoid admitting their true preference. Lesbians who define bisexuality in terms of a broader range of feelings are generally tolerant and accepting of bisexuality, however. They are concerned about the difficulties bisexuals face in a society that validates heterosexual and lesbian identities and lifestyles but condemns bisexuality, even though many admit that they cannot relate personally because they are not bisexual themselves.
Bisexuality as a Matter of Identity—Or a Denial of Identity
In an early phase of this research, 26 pre-test subjects were asked to rate the importance of various criteria in defining sexual orientation. Forty-six percent rated bisexual identity as “very important” or “essential” in defining bisexuality. Apparently, the women who participated in the pretest felt that they accorded a great deal of respect to others’ bisexual identities. When lesbian respondents in the main phase of the research were asked “What is your opinion of bisexuality?” many of them spontaneously mentioned bisexual identity. In this open-ended format, however, they usually mentioned it not to tout it as an important criterion of bisexuality, but to raise questions about its validity as a criterion. Of the 82 lesbians who mentioned bisexual identity, 57 did so to cast doubt on it. It would appear that when asked directly, lesbians generally say that they give serious consideration to other women’s bisexual identities, but when they are allowed to express their thoughts in a less structured context their comments reveal that many do not in fact accord bisexual identity much credibility.
Most lesbians who are suspicious of bisexual identity believe that women who call themselves bisexual are really lesbians. They explained that bisexual identity is used by people who can’t or won’t acknowledge their true sexuality, i.e., lesbianism, usually because of homophobia. Other lesbian respondents do not necessary think that bisexuals are lesbians, but they do expect that bisexuals are women on their way to becoming lesbians. Both of these beliefs cast doubt on the authenticity of bisexual identity, and by implication, on bisexuality itself. I call these beliefs “existentially invalidating” beliefs, and I will discuss them in detail along with lesbians’ other images of bisexual women later in this chapter.
A few respondents took pains to point out that their doubts about the authenticity of bisexual identity arose from their personal experiences with bisexual women, thus softening their criticism of bisexual identity. Maria, for example, sounded apologetic for her skepticism about other women’s bisexual identities. She wrote, “I feel that sometimes women who claim to be bisexual are simply denying their homosexuality. This is based on only the people I know that say they are bisexual.” Others commented that their impressions of bisexuality came primarily from their own experiences. They recalled that they identified themselves as bisexual before they came out as lesbians, and tentatively drew on this experience to wonder if other bisexual-identified women were also in the process of coming out as lesbians. For example, Doris explained, “I think many women think in terms of bisexuality when they are initially coming out—a transitional period—when I first fell in love with a womyn my internalized homophobia was so great I couldn’t comprehend me being a lesbian.”
Like Doris, Rhonda identified herself as bisexual before she came out as lesbian, but in hindsight she interprets her experience in a very different way:
When I first entered the lesbian community I thought of myself as bisexual—and referred to myself as such. A very large group of women (friends) that identified themselves as “lesbian” said I was confused. Within six months of coming out, I started referring to myself as “lesbian.” Found a much stronger sense of acceptance in the gay community . . . bisexual people are not accepted and have a harder time than gay men and women. (Rhonda)
Rhonda believes that lesbians’ suspicions about bisexual identity pressure bisexual women into identifying as lesbian. If she were to meet Doris, she might disagree with her that her period of bisexual identification was a transitional phase. Rhonda might argue that Doris is not a lesbian at all, but a bisexual woman who was pressured into identifying as a lesbian and who, in order to authenticate her current lesbian identity, now perceives her bisexual identity as inauthentic in hindsight.
Such a process would tend to be self-reproducing; each generation of women who are convinced to identify themselves as lesbians learns to inauthenticate their own previous bisexual identities by explaining them as transitional phases. These women, like Doris, then assume that other women who identify themselves as bisexual are likewise “going through a phase”; they expect these women to eventually come out as lesbians
