target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="#litres_trial_promo">9 are structured around the patterns that I detected among the adolescents and the interpretations I have of these patterns. Consequently, these chapters leave little room for listening freely to their stories. I have chosen, therefore, to present the case studies in a format that is more conducive to open listening—listening that is less constrained by a specific interpretation, that lets itself be guided by the rhythms of the stories. I begin and end this book with a story of a life in progress.
3
Malcolm’s Story
MALCOLM, a tall, lanky, light-skinned African American student walks into the room that has been set aside for interviews. This closetsized, hot and sleepy alcove is the only room in the school where one is guaranteed not to be interrupted by students or teachers wanting to use the space. Formerly a piano practice room, it has the added benefit of being one of the few soundproof rooms in the school—the interview can proceed undisturbed and confidentially. Sporting a flat-top haircut, baggy pants hung low around his hips, a colorful shirt, and untied sneakers, Malcolm looks like a typical urban teenager. Although he has volunteered to be interviewed, he seems shy and self-conscious with Mike, his freshman-year interviewer. He shifts in his seat as his eyes explore the small room. On the room’s lone poster hanging next to him, which offers the only visual distraction from the white cork walls, a Hispanic young man proclaims that becoming a teenage father “isn’t cool.” Malcolm briefly glances at the poster, and without reacting (his gaze indicates that he has seen the poster many times before), turns to Mike. He is ready to begin the interview.1
Malcolm’s Freshman Year
Malcolm lives with his mother, a secretary at a beauty salon, and his younger sister in a part of the city plagued by “a lot of violence” in the streets. He doesn’t belong to a gang but the scars on his face and back (he shows them to Mike) provide evidence of his involvement in street fights where he “backed up” friends who were being attacked. He claims, however, that he has been involved in only two fights and that he generally avoids them altogether. Malcolm has a knife at home for protection, but says that he does not typically carry it on him unless he should “do something stupid like go outside, you know, way late at night in some area I don’t know. You know?” He keeps the knife because he is worried someone will break into his house. He seems more threatened by an intruder at home than in the streets.
Malcolm has no memory of his father, who left the family when he was two years old. His mother’s ex-boyfriend lived with them for a few years when Malcolm was younger but moved out several years ago. Malcolm says his family has moved a lot—they have lived in Florida, California, and in the Northeast—and by moving they have frequently left extended family behind. Unlike many of the other boys in the study, Malcolm claims that his extended family members have played only a minor role in his life.
Mike begins the interview by asking Malcolm about his family relationships:
Tell me about your relationship with your mother.
We get along pretty cool most of the time when we do see each other. She gets home about eight most of the time. And then I’m still probably not in the house. So then when I get in the house, I’m like, “Hi, how you doing? Good night.” And just make sure I’ve done my [house] work. If I ain’t done my work, then I might get fussed at. That’s it.
Malcolm’s relationship with his mother appears to be relatively uncomplicated and not particularly intimate. At home, Malcolm says, he is responsible for taking care of his cat, dog, and bird, cleaning his room, and, generally, keeping the house in order. His mother will ask him about his schoolwork, but she doesn’t check it: “She only waits for the report card.” Malcolm says he does not tell his mother much about his personal life. He prefers to talk to a friend, or “figure things out” by himself. There have been no men in his life whom he has considered a father figure. Malcolm explains that since his mother has provided him and his sister with “everything we have needed,” his mother has served as both father and mother in his family:
Was there ever a male that you looked to as a father figure?
Myself mostly. I never really—I just looked at my mother as strong, you know, ’cause she kept me and my sister and she raised us both. It wasn’t really my mother’s boyfriend paying a lot of attention to us. He did help out money-wise. But she was there when we needed her, so she’s mostly if anything the father figure.
While describing why he sees his mother as a father figure, Malcolm repeats a theme that is heard among many of the teens in the study who did not have fathers in their lives. Mothers were typically considered “strong” people who were “there” for their children and were often deemed both mother and father figures because they provided emotional and financial support. Although the teens did express anger, at times, at their fathers’ neglect, they rarely spoke explicitly of yearning for a male father figure and seemed generally content with their mothers’ abilities to fulfill both roles.
Malcolm believes that his mother listens to him and that they talk to each other “as equals.”
She’ll respect what I—what I ask or something.
How do you think you’ve grown into that position where you’ve earned that kind of respect from her?
Just by being able to listen and not really getting into trouble. Stay in school. Do my work. You know, I also have a few jobs. Like when she was in the hospital, I was working. And that was when I was paying the rent.
Malcolm suggests that his mother not only takes care of him but that he takes care of her and his sister as well. During the period in which his mother was in the hospital to have a benign tumor removed, Malcolm worked at a convenience store during the week and at a gas station on the weekends. I was immediately struck, while listening to this interview of a freshman, by Malcolm’s sense of commitment to his family. While his appearance fits the stereotype of an adolescent, his actions clearly do not. Malcolm is sensitive to the needs of others and willing to assume adult responsibilities.
Malcolm identifies his relationship with his mother as most important for him at this point in his life: “’Cause like with her, all these years we’d be at each other’s back. Just like that, so that’s the most important one.” As will become evident, Malcolm’s relationship with his mother is not only mutually supportive and most important for Malcolm, it is also the only relationship about which he feels good. Malcolm and his sister get along “okay” but they argue often because she takes his tapes and clothes from his room without asking him. This, Malcolm says, is the main problem in their relationship. Over the three years Malcolm is interviewed, his sister will play an increasingly important role in his life.
When asked about close or best friends, Malcolm mentions close friends from his childhood who no longer live in his city. Currently, he has no close friends who live nearby:
So you really don’t have a closest friend here at school?
Oh no, nobody. Not even around my way. It’s like everybody else is just associating, you know. No. …
Why do you think you don’t have closer friends?
Nah, it’s just like things like friendships take time. Just like a relationship. You can’t really, you know, rush into that. You have to just take it slow and be able to know for true who’s your friend, who’s not.
