خدشا بالظُفُر * وانتن الريحان من فوق السرر *
Now, given that we were previously presented, in Book One,14 with a description, in the Frankish style, of a donkey, there can be no harm in presenting here too a description in the same style of a man on the verge of marriage. Thus we declare: it is a time that seduces him with thoughts of the joys of being wed and makes him drool as he anticipates the pleasures of the bed. No thoughts of future troubles cross his mind—all he can surmise, the most his mind devise, is “My state is not like that of my friends and neighbors who married and were disappointed in their hopes. They didn’t give marriage its due, didn’t cling with confidence to its ropes, for some wedded when unequal to its demands, either for want of magnanimity or of liquidity, or because of a disparity between them and their wives in age or, in their instrument, some debility, or were prone to come at the rim, before entering the hole, or rejected by their wives, or reduced to a constant tizzy by the husband’s role,(1)(1) The muṣlif is one “whose wife finds no favor with him” and also a man “who is in low spirits and whose wealth has decreased.” The mushafshif is “one who suffers from trembling and confusion out of jealousy and worry over his wives.” or because their emir had exiled them from their houses, or because their mothers constantly spied on their spouses, or because of quarrels with their neighbors over where to water their cattle, or because their imams regarded their wives as chattel.15 For all these reasons, squabbles would break out between man and wife and they’d go for long periods in a state of strife, shifts would be ripped from in front and from the rear,16 heads and pubes plucked of their hair, uproar would never stop, skins would be scratched with fingernails, and the scented herbs upon the beds would go to rot.
3.2.7
اما انا فانى بحمد الله خال عن هذه الخلال * فلا تحول لى مع زوجتى حال * ولا تزاحمنى فيها الرجال * ولا يعتريها منى ملال * فرضاى رضاها * ومناى مناها * وما انا بادرم ولا ابخر * ولا احدب ولا اخنب * وان لى يدين اعمل بهما ورجلين اسعى عليهما * وان يكن بى من عيب فى خَلقى * يستره عنى حسن خُلقى * فانى لا اعارضها فى طعامها * ولا فى لباسها ومنامها * بحيث تنام الى جنبى * وتتخذ من الملبوس ما يليق بها وبى * فما يمنعنى من اتخاذ قرينة * تكون على هذه الصفة الميمونة * حتى اذا سمع الناس بان زوجى عَرُوب * عرضها عندى مصون ووجهها عن المراود محجوب * حسدونى على هذه النعمة السابغة * فكان لى كل غصة من العيش سائغة * ولا يخفى كم فى كيد الحسود من لذة * لا تتقاعس عنها الالذّه * ما عدا ارتياح النفس الى الجنس الانيس * الذى قربه للقلب ترويح وللكرب تنفيس * وان امرءا يقاسى النهار جهده * ثم يبيت فى الليل وحده * من دون ضجيع له تنفخ فى انفه * وتسخن دمه من امامه ومن خلفه * لجدير بان يحصى مع الاموات * ويلقى بين الرفات * هذا وانى استغنى برضبها عن الشراب * وبشم شعرها عن المسك والملاب * فانهم قالوا ان الرائحة الانثوية تستنشق من منابت الشعر وبها نشوة الحواس * سوآ كان فى المغابن او فى الراس * واجتزئ بحر جسدها عن الوقود للاصطلآ * وبالرنوّ اليها عن الاثمد والجلآ * فيتوفر علىّ كل يوم فى الاقل درهم * انفق نصفه على الحمّام كل غداة فيبقى لى النصف الآخر وذلك خير عَمَم * وغنى اتمّ *
“I, though, am free, praise God, from any such flaw. Nothing need come between me and my wife, no man will jostle me for her affections, she won’t find me a bore. My happiness will be hers, my wishes and hers the same. I am neither toothless nor foul of breath nor hunchbacked nor lame. I have two hands with which to work, two legs that, to earn their living, will not shirk, and if in my body there’s any distemper, it’s covered by my excellence of temper. I will object to none of her cooking, her clothes, or her manner of reposing, for she’ll sleep next to me and adopt what suits us both by way of clothing. What then should stop me from taking a mate, one possessed of each such happy trait, even should people, hearing that my spouse is full of affection, that with me her honor enjoys full protection and her face no visitor sees, envy me such abundant ease? Every choking sorrow will then seem easy to swallow, and it’s no secret what pleasure lies in giving the envious the finger—a pleasure over which no connoisseur will hesitate to linger. Not to mention the delight found by the psyche in the companionate gender, whose nearness to the heart comfort, and in times of stress an outlet, doth render. One who endures his toil by day only by night to sleep alone and who no bedmate to breathe into his nostrils or warm his blood from in front and behind owns is meet to be counted among the dead and thrown among the bones. In addition, I shall by her saliva to the need for drink be made immune, by the smell of her hair to the need for musk and other perfume, for they say that the smell of a woman from the roots of the hair (be those in the body’s cracks and crevices or on the head) may be inhaled and by it all the senses are derailed. Likewise, the heat of her body will suffice as fuel to keep me warm, the sight of her serve as antimony and balm, meaning that I shall save at least one silver coin a day, half of which for a daily morning visit to the bathhouse I’ll pay, leaving me the other half to live on, which is riches indeed and will suffice for any need.
3.2.8
فاما ما يقال فى كيد النسا * واعناتهن الرجال بما يعزّ على الاِسا * فليس ذلك على عمومه * ولا تقرر حكم الا واستثنى امور من تعميمه * فلعلى اول من اخرج١ هذا الاستثنآ * وسنّ للاعزاب على الزواج الثنآ * كيف لا وانا ذو فصاحة وتبيان ودهآ وجنان * فما يعيينى شى من نكرها * ولا تخفى عنى خافية من امرها * فاعارضها واحجّها * واريها ان لى عليها قفيَّة تضطرها الى طاعتى وتحوجها * فان قلت لها اليوم يصوم فيه المباعلون * ويتبتّل المفاعلون * قالت انا اول من صام * وآخر من نام * وان
