قال خير ايام الانسان فى حياته هى المدة التى تتقدم الزواج والتى تليه * قلت ومبلغها عند الافرنج شهر يسمونه قمر العَسَل وهو بعد الزواج * ومبلغها عندنا معاشر العرب شهران يقال لهما قمرا العَسْل * حتى اذا امتلات الخليّة عادت كل نحلة زنبورا ورجع كل شى الى اصله * واقول ان المحبة هى مما غرس فى الطبيعة البشرية من يوم الوضع فى المهد الى يوم الوضع على النعش * فلا بدّ لهذا المخلوق الآدمى من ان يحب ذاتا من الذوات او شيا من الاشيآ او معنى من المعانى * وكلما زاد حبه فى قسيم منها نقص فى قسيمه الآخر * وقد يكون احدها سببا فى زيادة حبّه للاخر * مثال ذلك مَن كلف بالشعر او الغنآ او التصوير فكلفه هذا يكون باعثا له على حبّ الذات الجميلة * ومن كلف بالعلم والقتال والفخر والسيادة فلا بد وان تقل رغبته فى النسآ بل ربما لهى عنهن بالكلية * ومن كلف بالخيل المطهَّمة والسلاح النفيس فقد يكون كلفه هذا شائقا له الى حب الذات أوْ لا * وعدّ بعضهم من هذا النوع السراباتية وهم المنظّفون للمراحيض * واسقطه غيرهم بدليل انها حرفة يحتاج اليها الانسان لتحصيل معاشه لا كَلَف من هوى النفس *
Another thing he said was that the best days of a person’s life are those immediately preceding and following marriage. I note: according to the Franks these number a month, which they call “the moon of honey (ʿasal)” and which follows the wedding. According to us Arabs, however, they number two, are called “the two moons of intercourse (ʿasl),” and last till the hive has been filled, every bee has reverted to being a hornet, and everything has gone back to the way it was. I note further that love is something planted in our human clay the day we’re placed in the cradle and that lasts till the day we’re laid on the bier. The human must inevitably therefore feel love for some person or other, some object or other, some abstraction or other, and the more his love grows in the area of one of these loci, the further it declines in another. At the same time, one of these loci may become a stimulus to his adding love for another. An example would be a person who devotes himself to poetry, singing, or painting and whose devotion to these things becomes a spur to his loving a beautiful person. One who devotes himself to scholarship or fighting or honor or the exercise of power must inevitably lose some of his desire for women; indeed, he may be too busy to think about them at all. One who devotes himself to purebred horses and fine weapons may find that this devotion is an incitement to love of another or not, as the case may be. Some count among this last kind the sarābātiyyah, who are the latrine cleaners, but others exclude them from it on the grounds that they practice a profession that people are forced to undertake to make a living, not a pastime that people undertake because it suits them to do so.20
3.2.12
فهذه ثلث حالات متسببة عن ثلثة اسباب * وهناك ايضا ثلث احوال اخرى باعتبار القلّة والكثرة وما بينهما * الاولى متعادلة وهى ان يحبّ المحبّ محبوبه كنفسه * فلا تطيب نفسه شى ولا تهنئه لذة الا اذا كان محبوبه مشاركا له فى تلك اللذة * وذلك صفة الرجل قبل زواجه وبُعَيده * ولا تخلو هذه الصفة عن الرشد والبصيرة * الثانية المتعدية اى المجاوزة للمتعادلة * وذلك كاَن يحب المحب حبيبه اكثر من نفسه * وذلك صفة الاب والام فى حبّ ولدهما وصفة بعض العشاق * اما الاب فانه يفدى ولده بروحه ويحرم نفسه من اللذات والمسرات حتى يمتّعه بها * فاذا راى نفسه عاجزا عن الاكل والبعال وراى ابنه ياكل ويباعل لذَّ له ذلك * وهو مع هذا غير خال ايضا عن الرشد والتمييز * فاما العاشق فانه يوثر معشوقه على نفسه غير ان افعاله تكون مختله فى غير محلها ووقتها * والثالثة معلومة وهى ان يحب الانسان محبوبه مع ايثار نفسه عليه وهو الاغلب *
The preceding are three states deriving from three different stimuli. There are a further three states with respect to paucity, abundance, and their midpoint. The first is one of parity and consists of the lover loving his beloved as he loves himself; thus he never indulges himself in anything or pleasures himself with anything unless the one he loves is there to share that pleasure with him. This is how men are before and just after they get married, and it is not inconsistent with good sense and judgment. The second is the excessive, which is to say the one that goes beyond parity and consists of the lover loving his beloved more, as it were, than himself; it is characteristic of fathers and mothers in their love for their children and of certain lovers. The father will sacrifice his own life for that of his offspring and deny himself pleasures and treats so as to use them to give them pleasure: if he finds himself incapable of eating or of enjoying marital relations while his son enjoys both, this makes him happy. At the same time, however, he is not devoid of good sense and judgment. The lover may prefer the object of his affections to himself but unlike the parent behaves in a disordered way, doing things that are inappropriate to their place and time. The third is the ordinary situation and consists of a person loving his beloved but loving himself more; this is the commonest.
3.2.13
وهناك ايضا ثلث احوال اخرى مكانية وهى القرب والبعد والتوسط * ولها تاثيرات مختلفة بحسب اختلاف طباع الناس * فالصادق الود يحب فى حالتى القرب والبعد على حدّ سوى * بل ربما كان البعاد مهيجا له الى زيادة الشوق والغرام * وما احسن قول من قال فى هذا المعنى
| كانّ الهوى شمس ابى ان يردّها | مهاة نوىً لا بل تزيد بها حرّا |
فاما الطَرِف الشَنِق فانه لا يرسل الساق الّا ممسكا ساقا *
There are also three locational states, namely proximity, distance, and their midpoint, and these have different impacts depending on the differences among people’s dispositions. One whose love is true will love to the same extent whether he be near or far; indeed, separation may urge him on to greater longing and passion. No one has described this situation better than the one who said
Methinks the beloved a sun that separation
Refuses
