wallet full of credit cards, but if your husband is the primary cardholder and you are the secondary, he can cancel those cards without your permission. So get at least two cards in your name now, while you can use your combined credit score to get approved. Once you are divorced, it may be harder to get credit in your own name if you don’t have substantial income of your own.
When you meet with your attorney, he or she will ask for your financial documents. Save yourself time and money by collecting these documents now.
GATHER AND COPY ALL FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS, EVEN THOSE IN YOUR SPOUSE’S NAME
Copy anything with a dollar sign attached to it, such as bank accounts, investments, and retirement plans. Many women tell me their husband insists he is going to keep “his” 401K or pension. Wrong. If you live in a community-property state, half of any pension or retirement fund earned by your husband during the marriage is yours. If you live in an equitable property state, you are entitled to your fair share of his 401K or pension. Here is a checklist of documents your lawyer will want when you meet:
• Employment information: Paycheck stubs for you and your spouse for the last twelve months (or at least the last three months to the current date).
• Tax returns: Include the last three years of state and federal income tax returns.
• Pension and retirement programs: Copies of 401Ks, investment programs, stock, stock options, and bonds provided through the employer for you and/or your spouse.
• Insurance: Documents regarding insurance provided through the employer for you and/or your spouse.
• Real property: Deeds showing the legal description of any real property owned individually or jointly with your spouse, escrow papers from the time of purchase, current mortgage statements, current real property tax statements, homeowners or fire insurance policies on all real properties, and tax assessor’s statements.
• Stock portfolio: List of corporate stocks and/or stock certificates owned by you and your spouse, individually or jointly, and the name and address of stock broker(s).
• Cars, boats, trailers: Copies of pink and registration slips, encumbrance (what’s owed), and monthly payments.
• Life insurance: Current policies with statements of any loans against them.
• Promissory notes and/or deeds of trust: Copies of such records that name you and your spouse as beneficiaries.
• Credit cards and loans: Credit cards; creditor’s statements showing names, address, account numbers, and balances presently owed, plus creditor’s statements showing balances owed at separation date; financial statements of net worth prepared by you or your spouse to secure bank loans or for any other purpose; and any other information that will help establish your net worth individually or jointly, for you and your spouse.
• Household furniture and furnishings: Take pictures of significant items with your opinion of the estimated value. You may be asked to list those items that you wish to keep and those that you wish to give to your spouse.
• Bank or credit union accounts: Most recent statements showing balances, particularly at date of separation, held in individual or joint names, savings passbooks, and certificates of deposit.
• Wills or trusts
• Written agreements: Premarital written agreements with spouse.
INSIDER TIP
After filing for divorce, husbands often provide only a fraction of what they legally owe as a tactical maneuver to force their spouse to accept a settlement that is less than what she is legally entitled to. It can take time to retain counsel and get to court to obtain what you need. Take steps now to protect yourself.
IF YOUR SPOUSE OWNS A BUSINESS, COPY FINANCIAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE BUSINESS
You must prove your husband’s income to obtain support, and it is more difficult to establish cash flow for a spouse who is self-employed than one who receives a W-2. If your spouse is self-employed, he will probably understate his earnings and overstate his business expenses to decrease what he owes in spousal and child support. Before the divorce is filed, obtain whatever information you can about the business and its finances. Your lawyer will want the following:
• Corporate or partnership federal and state income tax returns for the past three years.
• Copies of recent financial statements prepared to apply for credit or business loans of any kind.
DOCUMENT YOUR MONTHLY BUDGET FOR HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES
Gather information on all household expenses, for you and your children, including mortgage/rent, property taxes, homeowner’s fees, car payment, insurance (home, car, medical, and life), utilities, personal expenditures, travel, education expenses, health care, and so on — everything, in other words, that you spend to maintain your standard of living on a monthly basis. This information will determine the amount of child and spousal support you will receive or pay. I recommend that for expenses that fluctuate (like the water and gas bill), you gather expenditures over the past twelve months and divide each category by twelve. It is important to include everything, since once support is ordered, getting it modified is costly and time-consuming, and can only be accomplished in certain circumstances. For example, if you do not include the expense for the children’s summer camps in your calculation before the divorce is final, you may have difficulty getting your ex-husband to share that expense after the divorce.
In order to get what you want in your divorce, it is imperative that you understand the different ways you can get divorced and select the best path for you. Understanding the pros and cons of each method will enable you to make an informed decision that will alleviate stress and save you time and money. There is a movement toward resolving divorce through mediation and collaboration, rather than litigation, which is generally a very good thing. However, if you take the mediation route, it is extremely important that you understand your rights, so that you get what you need and are legally entitled to. Many women enter mediation assuming their rights will be protected — but that is not the case if you are not represented by an attorney.
WISE WOMEN KNOW
What you agree to in your divorce may be the most important financial decision of your life.
Recently I received a call from a panicked woman with four young children who finalized her divorce through the mediation process. In doing so, she gave away
