ASK YOUR THERAPIST FOR REFERRALS
Therapists are an excellent resource for attorney referrals. Their clients often find themselves needing to get divorced, and many therapists will keep a referral list of lawyers and mediators. Usually they will refer you to someone who can be trusted to resolve matters when feasible, rather than ramping up the litigation to pad their bill.
MAKE APPOINTMENTS TO INTERVIEW THREE DIVORCE LAWYERS
When making appointments, give yourself enough time to gather all the financial documents described above (or that the attorney requests). You want to bring these to review at the first meeting.
It can be frightening to face divorce and a potential reduction of income. Especially if you have been out of the workforce raising a family, so much will have changed that the idea of supporting yourself can be immobilizing. The way to deal with this is to 1) hire a good attorney who can get you the time and resources you need to create or obtain the job you want, and 2) consider your ability to earn in the new economy, which may be far greater than you think and provide needed flexibility. Even for my clients who have taken time off to raise their children, there are many opportunities available today to work from home, earn good money, and still be available to your kids. In the chapters that follow, I provide concrete steps to help you create work that meets your needs and suits your lifestyle, including starting your own business.
INSIDER TIP
“Imputed income” is income that you are not earning but that a judge determines you are capable of earning. This is offset against any support you receive.
Clients often ask whether they should delay working or quit their jobs to reduce their income during a divorce. Since both your and your spouse’s incomes are used to calculate support, this is a valid concern. Strategy is important here. It is a mistake to assume that you will get adequate support from your husband to take care of you for the rest of your life in the manner to which you have become accustomed. Support is generally ordered in an amount and for a length of time that allows you to become self-supporting. If you do not work or are underemployed, and if you are healthy and able, the judge will likely order you to undergo a vocational examination to determine how much money you are capable of earning, and the judge will deduct that income from what you will get when making the support determination. Choosing not to work if you can work will probably backfire.
My own case illustrates how strategy matters when considering your work as you face divorce. I had worked as an attorney at a large corporate law firm, but I had taken several years off to raise our children. During the recession, my law firm dissolved, so going back to work there was not an option. However, I knew that if I didn’t have a job when I went to court, the judge would impute the income that I could earn as a lawyer at a corporate firm and deduct that phantom income when determining how much support I would receive from my husband. Before heading to court, I began working as a legal writing teacher at one of the local law schools, and I earned a small income from that. I also took on contract work for a couple of local attorneys, which I could do remotely from home. This allowed me to be available to my children, while also getting back to work and brushing up on my skills. When the judge made the support determination, he used the income I was currently earning, which was far less than what I had earned as a corporate lawyer at a large law firm — and far less than what I knew I would go on to earn later. This strategy worked because I received more support than I would have received if I hadn’t gone back to work. Most importantly, I was also on my way to earning what I needed in order to support myself and my children, which is the key to financial freedom and independence.
CONSIDER YOUR EDUCATION AND WORK HISTORY
The first step to your financial independence is to objectively evaluate the skills you developed in the past that you can use now to get back to work. Over the next months, you will obtain additional education or training if needed, work on your résumé, and build a network to find or create the right job. Right now, brainstorm about your skill set and how it matches up with the current work environment. Envision what you want to be doing five years from now so that you can get what you need to make that goal a reality.
MATCH YOUR SKILLS TO THE CURRENT LABOR MARKET
How can you apply your education and skills to today’s labor market? There are so many opportunities to work remotely now. How can you use your skills to create a job for yourself that suits your current needs? For example, if you have school-age children, can you work from home so that you can be available to them when they arrive home from school? A client had taught school in Mexico before getting married and moving to the United States. She tutored local kids who needed help with Spanish and eventually grew her stay-at-home business into a successful enterprise employing several other tutors, whom she supervised. Another client worked in the health-care industry brokering insurance contracts for a large company. After she finalized her divorce, she set up her own online insurance brokering business using her skills and contacts. What can you create that will give you the income you need and the flexibility to live the life you want to live? Brainstorm now, and later chapters will provide specific steps and tools to turn that dream into a reality.
CONSIDER ADDITIONAL EDUCATION AND TRAINING
If you have been out of the workforce for a lengthy period, do you need education and/or training to bring your skills up-to-date? I had a client who had been a speech therapist for fifteen years before she stopped working to raise two children. She did some research and learned that it would take a year and approximately $3,500 for her to obtain the necessary certifications to begin working again as a speech therapist. We used that information to negotiate adequate support to give her the time and resources she needed to get back to work in a career that she was passionate about. Search your previous areas of expertise online to determine whether additional certifications and education are required to get back to work.
NETWORK TO MAKE CONNECTIONS
There is no substitute for networking. When you are getting back to work, it requires a certain vulnerability to let people know that you are looking, especially if you have been out of the workforce for a while — but the rewards are huge. Take the risk. My story is illustrative. I got divorced during a recession, and law firms were not hiring — they were firing. I knew that I would not be able to earn a living as I had in the past. I began making lunch and coffee dates with anyone I could think of who might have contacts in the legal community, so that I could get the word out that I wanted to get back to work. Through a series of those lunches and coffees, I was connected to the dean of a local law school. I expressed a desire to teach, something I hadn’t done before. A few weeks later, on New Year’s Day, the dean emailed me that one of the legal writing teachers was ill and couldn’t teach that semester. He asked if I would step in. I did — one week before classes began. Although it was scary, I loved it. It took me out of my comfort zone, I learned I could do it, and I enjoyed being of service to the students — a win-win situation. You never know what opportunities are out there until you ask and show up. Take these steps now to get the word out that you are interested in getting back to work:
• Set up coffee or lunch with three friends to brainstorm about your skill set and explore what opportunities are available.
• End each meeting by asking each friend to
