nervous system’s response to stress is the same now as it would have been in survival days when faced with a life-threatening danger like a predator. We freeze, we fight or we run. Our nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a real-life threat and a perceived one. If we are worrying about something that isn’t even likely to happen, our nervous system will respond as if it is happening. If we are triggered by the stress of meeting a deadline, it becomes the predator. We will react in a fight, flight or freeze way. Have you ever noticed that when you’re nervous about something, like the day of a big presentation or taking an exam, that you are going to the loo every five minutes before it starts? Yep – that’s your nervous system emptying you out so you are ready to fight or run from the predator. Notice that your heart rate goes up when you are being given unwanted feedback? Yep – your heart is pumping blood around your body so you are ready-set-go to fight or run in response to it.
The fight response is reasonably apparent. It might show up as anything from mild irritation through to excessive acts of verbal or physical violence. It served us well when we needed to fight a predator trying to kill us but when it arises during road rage – well, it seems a bit excessive. But in that triggered, irrational, road-rage moment it can feel entirely justifiable to be aggressive – even though that’s not who we want to be. In a fight response we attack the situation or person we are having the problem with.
The flight response would obviously have been to run away from the predator. When faced with something that worries us, the flight response might look more like going quiet, denial, burying our head in the sand or withdrawing from life. In the flight response, we avoid the situation or person we are having the problem with.
The freeze response has a benefit in some situations; if we stay still for long enough if faced with a predator passing by, it might not see us and that could save our life. But the freeze response isn’t useful if we feel frozen to the spot when it would be better for us to take action.
We all have our ‘favourite’ triggered reaction; sometimes we combine them all depending on the situation. It is useful to identify your default response. I used to have quite an explosive reaction when triggered, which usually involved a deluge of tears after I had erupted. My unconscious default is to initially get verbally defensive before running for the hills and avoiding the person or situation altogether! Because I don’t feel comfortable with conflict, another unconscious default is to try to mediate whenever there is a problem between other people, which can mean I get involved in situations that are none of my business. Self-awareness brings many useful insights that can better inform our chosen response to life. I have found it really helpful to recognize my triggered stress reactions. I have also learnt that taking a few deep breaths to put space between how I might feel and how I choose to respond is invaluable, as is understanding why I have been triggered in the first place.
Gaining more control over our reactivity requires both in-the-moment action as well as longer-term action. Using the single-breath practice or the sigh-of-relief breath from #hack 4 will help in the immediate moment, while practising belly breathing daily for ten minutes will help you to be less reactive in general.
# The hack
What’s your triggered reaction in life? How does it vary from one situation to another?
Next time you notice that you are having a fight, flight or freeze reaction, can you take a few deep breaths? Give yourself a moment. Use the sigh-of-relief breath from #hack 4 to deactivate your fight-or-flight reactivity. Use the daily belly breath practice to become altogether less triggered in life.
How does your stress show up physically?
Our physical body is witness to everything that we experience in life and will often show us what we are mentally trying to ignore. Poor digestion, inflammatory conditions, colds and aches and pains can all be signs of stress. We seem to have accepted these conditions as part of life without questioning why they are there. We all react differently to stress and part of managing it is in recognizing our own personal signs and symptoms. Our bodies do an amazing job of carrying us through life so it’s time we started listening to and looking after them.
The body has a way of getting our attention when our mind is ignoring the messages life is trying to give us. I have experienced this a few times myself. The first time I broke my collarbone at a competition was one of those occasions. I knew I had broken it the moment I stood up from the fall. Although I felt no pain whatsoever, I could feel the bone moving. The power of adrenaline is quite incredible as I felt no pain for a day or two; until it finally hit. I was initially frustrated that I couldn’t compete for a few weeks, but then something surfaced that I hadn’t realized was there. I felt totally relieved that I had a genuine reason to rest. That I could give myself permission to back off. I didn’t know I felt such pressure until that moment, but clearly I did. That fall gave me a wake-up call. It made me reflect on why I needed something as extreme as breaking a bone to give myself permission to rest. If you can relate to that then please don’t wait until your body literally forces you to stop. You will achieve far more in life if you look after yourself.
Another occasion that my body was trying to tell me something was when I was teaching yoga. I was a freelance teacher in various organizations, one of which was a yoga centre. It became apparent to me that this particular centre’s owners and I did not have the same values. I started to feel uncomfortable teaching there, and though I tried to resolve matters with the owners, it became apparent that things wouldn’t change. As I became increasingly frustrated, my body took over the situation. On days that I was due to teach at the centre, I would get up in the morning and have completely lost my voice. Like, no voice at all; not even a squeak. The next day, when due to teach somewhere else, I would get up and my voice would have returned. This pattern continued until I acknowledged it and quit teaching at the centre. Dis-ease in our mind, thoughts or emotions shows in our body and will often miraculously heal the minute we address the cause of disharmony.
Are you aware of times when your body is trying to tell you something? What needs addressing?
Soothing the symptoms
Aches, pains and illness are a call for love and care. If your back is aching, it is asking for a massage, some yoga, attention to your posture, to notice what burden you feel in life or maybe to seek expert advice. If you keep getting headaches, they are asking you to notice what mental strain you are under, perhaps your neck and shoulders need attention, or you need to drink more water or get your eyes checked. Maybe you need to see the GP. If you keep getting a bloated stomach, it’s a call to check what you are eating and to reflect on what it is in life that you are struggling to digest. If you get out of breath going upstairs, the body is asking you to get fitter, to notice what’s suffocating you in life, and to breathe some fresh air into your lungs and some energy and zing into your daily life.
Every symptom in the body is a call to love and care. Every. Single. One.
# The hack
Listen to your body. What is it trying to tell you when it is aching, hurting or not feeling well? What does it need? What do you need? Every action you take to look after your body is worth it… however small. Every action you take to address the physical symptoms of stress is worth it… however small.
I know it sounds obvious to say this, but if you want
