out of touch with the professional world, Suzie decided to meet with several of the gal pals from her book club, and she started networking. She was determined to keep her house! Over coffee, Suzie and her gal pals (who worked in various fields) brainstormed possible employment options that would match Suzie’s skill set. What were Suzie’s abilities and experiences? Together, they quickly listed Suzie’s strengths and talents and tallied up her recent “non-employment” accomplishments: She was the PTA president, a special-education parent liaison, an autism advocate extraordinaire, not to mention assistant to the swim coach, scout troop leader, theater club mom, and participant in any other community activity Jack attended. In a “light bulb moment,” one of Suzie’s pals offered to introduce Suzie to her boss, who was the editor of the local newspaper.
With Suzie’s prior freelance experience and her obvious knowledge about and regular involvement in community-centered activities, Suzie wound up getting a job with the local newspaper to cover their weekly community events. Mission accomplished—through networking!
Are you starting over in the workforce and wondering where to begin? Start by making a list of your interests, experiences, strengths, talents, and accomplishments. Build your résumé with all of the information compiled from your lists. Next, make a “networking” list of people whom you believe to be helpful in facilitating the achievement of your goal. The hope is that you will find employment in a position where your interests, experience, and skill set are a good match with the job requirements.
Complete the following exercise to help you identify what sort of skills and interests you bring to the table and whom you might connect with to find employment that’s a good fit for you.
1. INTERESTS: What do you like to do?
2. EXPERIENCE: What work or volunteer experience do you have?
3. STRENGTHS: What are your abilities?
4. TALENTS: What are you good at?
5. ACCOMPLISHMENTS: What have you attained, achieved, or mastered?
6. RÉSUMÉ-BUILDING: Build your résumé by using the information you listed above.
7. NETWORKING: Make a list of your friends, acquaintances, relatives, and neighbors. Who might be able to help you?
Write down five “emotional steps forward” that you feel will help keep you and your child(ren) emotionally steady during a time when you need the most reassurance.
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Practical Steps
For families who have a child on the autism spectrum, divorce can become exceedingly challenging. Children’s emotional states are altered, their treatment programs are affected, and their everyday routines become more unpredictable.
Moving Forward: Erica’s Story
Six-year-old Erica received a diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder at age 3. After a long and laborious court battle, her parents’ divorce became final, and primary custody of Erica and her younger sister Amanda was awarded to their mother, Lisa. Their father’s (Jon’s) visitation schedule consisted of alternating weekends, holidays, and summer vacations. This transition was especially difficult for Erica, as demonstrated by her constant meltdowns, bed-wetting, and irregular sleep patterns. To complicate matters, Lisa took a part-time job as a paralegal and moved the girls 50 miles away from where Jon resided when Erica was in first grade. This created logistical challenges for Jon, in terms of visitation and attending school-related activities.
“This was a very hard time for all of us,” said Lisa. “Jon and I were not on good terms when we filed for divorce. Erica was having outbursts at school. She wasn’t sleeping or eating well, either. In the midst of all of this, I got a job and moved out of town. Jon’s work record had been spotty, and our finances had been limited. Although it was in the middle of the school year, I had to make the decision to relocate for financial reasons. I knew I wanted to register Erica in a special-education program right away, so she could get back on track in a new school as soon as possible. I was aware that the combination of all of those changes would most likely complicate things for Jon and the girls, particularly Erica, but I felt I had no choice. We needed a steady income, and I could provide that better than Jon at that point.”
As Lisa was getting situated at her new job and settling into her new apartment in a new city with the girls, she prepared to meet with the officials at Erica’s new school to create an Individualized Education Program (IEP) for Erica. Gathering old medical records and neuropsychology reports for Erica’s IEP meeting was a full-time job. Erica had so many documents to organize. Having gone through the IEP process before at Erica’s previous school, Lisa and Jon were aware of the procedures necessary to reinstate Erica’s IEP. Although Erica had previously come from a special-needs classroom environment, her progress had been clearly noted in many academic and psychological evaluations.
The IEP team at Erica’s new school took their time in reviewing her assessments and all other pertinent information. Eventually, the IEP team agreed to Erica’s new placement in a general-education classroom, with part-time assistance from an educational aide. The new IEP team also agreed to provide Erica with other special-education services, which included an hour of individualized speech and occupational therapy per week. Even attending a weekly social-skills “lunch bunch” group with her typically developing peers was written into Erica’s new IEP.
“Jon and I were pleasantly surprised—ecstatic actually—with the support services provided by the new school district. Also, Jon’s health insurance plan continued to provide Erica with an additional hour a week of speech
