social signals, gestures, or even their words. She didn’t hear complete conversations.
Marina recollects being depressed and anxious for as long as she can remember. As a child she struggled with loud noises and didn’t want to be touched. She would pull away or make a “mean face” if someone unexpectedly touched her. She found most people shallow and felt like they knew hidden “crazy algorithms or secret formulas” that she had no clue about.
School was hard for Marina. She was afraid of both kids and teachers. Her mother set out to build her confidence and academic skills at the same time.
We would do spelling drills and I expected her to get A’s because I knew she could. But at first she would spell the word as though she was asking a question. I told her if she said it in a “question voice,” I’d mark it wrong. I wanted her to learn to spell but also to learn to speak with confidence!
I thought it was important for her to analyze, not just obey. I wanted her to develop more than one way of perceiving the world. So I would have close her eyes and pretend she was blind. Then I would hand her something —like an apple—and have her describe it many different ways, asking, “How do you know it is an apple?” She learned to use all her senses and to figure things out on her own.
I also wanted her to learn to analyze people. I told her that her teachers were smart, but they were just people, and all people make mistakes. I told her to obey them (and me, and Sunday school teachers) when they asked her to do good things. But I also told her to think for herself. She started analyzing her teachers without realizing it.
Later, when she was older, she and her sisters used to take really long walks through different neighborhoods. This was after her father and I divorced, and for a time we were actually homeless. We lived in an old van, usually by a public park. The girls would walk to upscale neighborhoods and look in the windows, and they started interacting with the people who lived there. Marina would come back and describe what she had seen. Her curiosity and approach of “analyzing” her world was paying off socially.
Her teachers, however, thought Marina was a “problem” and considered her “rebellious” because she wouldn’t always verbally respond to them. In sixth grade, the principal told Marina’s mother her daughter would no longer be allowed to attend his school because they were unable to help her. Her mother decided to find a different route.
I knew Marina was smart, but her anxiety and daydreaming kept her from learning. I finally started home schooling her. We spent time on the computer, and that suddenly opened a whole new world to her— she could view, learn about, and even buy things! She started reading others’ opinions, got exposure to other lifestyles and interests, and enjoyed educating and entertaining herself through the Internet.
Yet, today, Marina’s mother looks back and wishes she had done even more.
I wish I had pushed harder. I wish I had forced the school system to help. I wish I had acquired more knowledge to help Marina. I wish I had pushed her a little harder and put her into situations that would have taught social skills—maybe speaking, drama, or etiquette classes. I think I sometimes made excuses for her. I could have pushed her more to explain her thoughts or feelings. All children should be encouraged and nudged to do well. Until something is tried, you’ll never know what a child or adult is capable of. Children will become adults. They must function safely within society.
Marina has built a satisfying life that includes a husband and daughter. She makes contributions to her community and to the family’s finances, and is continuing her education.
I run a volunteer feeding program for the homeless every Saturday. We do it as a family. I also just recently started volunteering at the SPCA. I really enjoy helping people. It makes me feel really good that I am a positive force in someone else’s life—that I’m helping make someone’s life a little better. Having a strong adherence to routines helps me get up and out when I otherwise don’t feel like it. When I’m sick or fatigued I am able to push past that because it’s Saturday and we have to feed the homeless today.
I have always had an interest in astronomy since my childhood. My older sister bought us a computer when I was 14 and she got us connected to the Internet via dial up and AOL. At first we didn’t really understand the Internet—we would just click on whatever links popped up on the home page. Then we discovered the search engine feature.
I started researching anything I had questions about—a very wide variety of topics from the behavior of wolves to boa constrictors, Nile monitors, and komodo dragons, as well as fish and game regulations, gun laws, infectious diseases, neurology, and forensic anthropology.
Then I happened to watch a movie about physics and became interested in that. After further Internet research, I discovered and became fascinated with astrophysics. Right now I’m in my second year at a community college, majoring in physics, and doing well. I still find it hard to concentrate in a classroom though, so I rely primarily on textbooks and the Internet to understand material. I’m really fascinated by the universe and want to transfer to UC Berkeley when I finish here. I plan to major in Astrophysics with a minor in Computer Science.
I take care of the entire bill-paying for the family and it’s my job to plan our budget. I enjoy budgeting and managing our finances. Learning as a kid to create shopping lists and use a calculator paid off. Right now my financial contribution to the family comes from breeding and selling rats—another subject I also learned from various Internet sites.
JAIME, 35
From Coder to Project Manager, to Business Analyst at a large technology company Diagnosed with PDD-NOS/High Functioning Autism
Jaime has found success with one of the world’s largest technology companies. His work involves almost daily interactions with others, which he still finds challenging. He enjoys the routine of his job and he likes the pay. As he’s been there longer, however, he’s started to wish his tasks were even more technical, and feels that he is not utilizing all of his skills.
Being on the autism spectrum actually helps me in my job. I am meticulous about anything technical. I am also able to view problems and solutions with a completely different perspective than others.
Earlier in his life, Jaime’s school performance looked fine to outsiders, but he knew that he was not putting forth effort that matched his abilities. He managed to get by, and even received some awards because he is very bright. But he wasn’t motivated and often didn’t even bother to read assignments fully.
I was smart and could get B’s in classes without even reading the full chapters of school textbooks. I thought I was “too smart to study.” At the time that was satisfactory to me. I underachieved.
Moreover, he said he was always the social outsider and was subjected to bullying.
I was always the outcast and I was never confident within groups. I got teased a lot. The kids taunted me with names like “cabezon” (big head) and “orejon” (big ears). I eventually learned that the opinions and actions of bullies don’t matter. After gaining that confidence, it was much easier to avoid them.
It probably didn’t help that Jaime struggled with neurological glitches that sometimes made it difficult to process incoming information and to regulate motor skills.
As a child I struggled to process what others were trying to tell me. I was also challenged with motor apraxia—a neurological condition that makes it hard to plan or produce body movements upon request or command. These are still areas that require great effort to deal with. I make sure to really absorb what someone
