I open to the lessons and rewards of illness?
March 16
“Words are the dress of thoughts; which should no more be presented in rags, tatters, and dirt, than your person should.”
PHILIP STANHOPE, LORD CHESTERFIELD
The words we use in conversations are often good indicators of certain prejudices or attitudes we may have, even though we may not be fully aware of them. If we blurt out to someone, for example, that we’re “hobbling along like a cripple,” then that statement reveals quite a lot about our self-image, not to mention our feelings about people (including ourselves) who may be physically challenged.
Similarly, if after two days and nights of unrelenting pain we tell our partner that we’re going to “break down and call the doctor,” that says much about our attitude toward healthcare professionals and also, very likely, about our level of self-worth.
What exactly do we mean when we say we’re “going to break down and call the doctor?” Do we feel that it’s somehow improper to interrupt the doctor with anything less than a dire emergency? Does our choice of words indicate we’re afraid the doctor might be annoyed by one too many calls from us and that we don’t want to risk disapproval? Do we feel that the doctor is too important to be bothered by the likes of us?
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
My words reflect my feelings. If I change the feelings, the words will follow.
March 17
“Humility is to make a right estimate of one’s self.”
CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON
I don’t know how long it took me to regain consciousness following open-heart surgery, but I clearly remember how surprised and grateful I felt to be alive. For quite some time after that, perhaps a year or more, I had little trouble putting my spiritual beliefs into practice. I was quite willing to work for a full recovery and completely willing to leave the results to God.
Looking back, it seems that I gained a degree of humility from that near-death experience. I realized (not for the first time) that I wasn’t in control of my world or anyone else’s.
As time went on and I became stronger, my ego expanded along with my confidence. I frequently tried to take control in areas where I was completely powerless. The best I could do was rarely good enough; gradually self-will again became a damaging force in my life.
The more I tried to take control, the more fearful I became. I was humbled once more and realized I had forgotten this vital spiritual principle: By doing the best I can, and then surrendering the results to God, I allow His power to enter my life and bring about positive change.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
God is in charge. If it is supposed to happen, it will.
March 18
“Recall your courage, and lay aside sad fear.”
VIRGIL
It goes without saying, doesn’t it, that risk-taking no longer belongs in our lives? Risks are for healthy people who can still afford to put themselves on the line. These days we want to feel protected, not vulnerable; solid, not fragile; secure, not fearful. Now that we’re sick and frequently in pain, risk-taking is the last thing in the world we should expect of ourselves. Right?
Wrong. The reality is that certain risks are well worth taking and, in fact, can bring comfort and even more security to our lives. We stand to benefit greatly, for example, when we risk becoming more self-aware by exploring our feelings and reactions, by learning to identify and eliminate old ideas and character flaws, and by practicing meditation.
Risks can also bring rewards when we share our emotions and personal experiences with friends and loved ones—when, by risking intimacy, we allow others to know us at the truly important levels instead of merely the superficial ones.
For many of us, the most beneficial risk of all is the one we take by letting go and letting God.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
Before I automatically say no, I’ll check the risk-reward ratio.
March 19
“But the waiting time, my brothers, Is the hardest time of all.”
SARAH DOUDNEY
The worst thing about the biopsy is not the anesthetic, the probing, the suture removal, or the scarring. The worst thing, of course, is waiting for the results.
There have been other times, when you waited anxiously for word about a college application, a job assignment, or an offer on a house. But waiting for crucial medical results is in another league entirely. The outcome this time could overshadow and upend everything else in your life.
As difficult as it is to wait twenty-four hours, seventy-two hours, or even a week for test results and a definitive diagnosis, there are actions you can take to lighten the emotional burden. First of all, keep yourself as busy as possible. It doesn’t matter what activities you choose, so long as they help divert your thoughts from fearful and negative projection. For the same reason, surround yourself with loving and caring friends and family members.
If you have faith in a Power greater than yourself and spirituality is important in your life, you already know what to do. You’ve learned that letting go and letting God is the one action, more than any other action, which will safely carry you through this trying time.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
While I am waiting, I will prepare myself by strengthening my emotional and spiritual resources.
March 20
“I would not anticipate the relish of any happiness, nor feel the weight of any misery, before it actually arrives.”
JOSEPH ADDISON
A ray of sunlight at the edge of the window awakened me the other morning. As I watched it grow brighter, I cautiously arched my back and raised my arms. Instead of feeling the usual jolts of pain, I was surprisingly supple and relaxed.
I vowed to fully enjoy the unexpected period of pain-free grace for however long it might last. For the next several days I felt better than I had in months. I took the opportunity to enjoy activities that are usually beyond my capabilities. And I was grateful.
I used to react quite differently during temporary remissions. I would become elated, almost manic. Right away I would conclude that I had eluded and escaped pain once and for all, forever. Needless
