“I, who have never willfully pained another, have no business to pain myself.”
MARCUS AURELIUS
It seems that we are being tested these days. We may know intellectually that this is not the case, but we can’t help feeling that our ability to cope and endure is constantly being examined and gauged.
We wonder (and we sense that people around us are wondering, too) just how much longer we’ll be able to get by with night after night of pain-interrupted sleep. We worry that we won’t make the grade in adjusting to new limitations and rapidly changing relationships. We fear that we won’t be able to push through pain or even remain hopeful in the days and weeks ahead.
Let’s pull back! Let’s take a break from the demanding “pass-fail” mindset we’ve created for ourselves. Let’s put aside all of that punishing self-criticism and self-judgment. Let’s free our minds of wonder, worry, and fear.
Instead, let’s fill our minds and hearts with total acceptance of God’s grace. God’s love for us is not contingent on how we “measure up” or whether or not we “make the grade.” God’s love for us is eternal and unconditional.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
My recovery and wellness programs are not pass-fail propositions.
March 3
“Seeing that a Pilot steers the ship in which we sail, who will never allow us to perish even in the midst of shipwrecks, there is no reason why our minds should be overwhelmed with fear and overcome with weariness.”
JOHN CALVIN
I know that when I harbor negative thoughts in my mind long enough, repeating them over and over and letting them roll around in my consciousness, the thoughts become distressing feelings. And when I dwell on those feelings, allowing them to mushroom within me, they often manifest themselves in hurtful words and actions toward myself or others.
My goal today is to prevent negative thoughts from influencing the way I see myself and the way I live my life. While it will be impossible to eliminate such thoughts entirely, I can deliberately choose to reverse them, transform them, or seek their opposite when they do surface.
Instead of dwelling on physical, mental, or circumstantial limitations, I will focus on God’s larger world and all it has to offer.
Instead of criticizing the things that are wrong or lacking among my friends, family members, and healthcare team, I will acknowledge and appreciate their concern, love, and fundamental desire for my well-being.
Instead of allowing fear to take root and grow wild within me, I will open myself to the protecting presence of God, going forward again with courage and confidence.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
I will not give power to negative thoughts.
March 4
“It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.”
EDITH NESBITT
It used to be that we did pretty much what we wanted, when we wanted. Apart from family and financial responsibilities, we were able to “rip and run” as we pleased and to schedule our activities by whim.
Those days may not be gone forever, but unfortunately we haven’t experienced them in a while. Chronic illness has reined us in sharply, and on some days pain hobbles us to the point of immobility.
What we’ve learned to do, in response to chronic illness, is to listen carefully to our bodies’ signals and messages. Through meditation, body scans, stretching exercises, yoga, and similar techniques, we “check in, tune in, and listen in” and then act on what we learn.
As a primary example, we’re becoming increasingly familiar with our daily body rhythms. We’re discovering when our energy levels are generally highest and lowest, and how to plan activities accordingly.
In my own case, I now know that my best hours are from midmorning to mid-afternoon. Then I can expect a letdown, followed by a surge after dinner. So I’ve learned to make the most of the high-energy times, and to accept and respect the low-energy ones.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
When I seek and follow my body’s guidance, then I am at my best.
March 5
“Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.”
JANE AUSTEN
Those close to us can’t help knowing what we’ve been going through; it would be impossible for us to hide the effects of the disease. Sometimes, however, we try to smile through the pain, hoping they’ll think we’re doing fine. At other times we shut ourselves away in order to spare our loved ones the anguish they so obviously feel.
Most of the time, though, we’re honest and open about our symptoms because we know how important it is for all of us to be as accepting as possible. The problem is that we frequently feel terribly guilty for causing our family members so much heartache.
We feel guilty? Why guilt, of all things? It isn’t as if we brought the illness on ourselves. It isn’t as if we can “will” ourselves back to health. It isn’t as if we’re responsible for the ways our loved ones react to the illness, or that we have any control over their reactions.
The point is that there are quite enough weighty issues in our life these days, and most of them are as unavoidable as they are unfathomable. Guilt, however, is another story entirely. It is one burden we don’t need to pick up and carry around.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
Guilt is bad medicine.
March 6
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
DANIEL FRANçOIS ESPRIT AUBER
“It’s tough getting old, isn’t it?” That’s what we hear, all too often, when we get into a conversation with someone about our illness. Whether we are twenty-seven or seventy-two, we usually respond by smiling and agreeing. And for the moment that seems to take the focus off us and put the matter to rest.
For most of us, there is little purpose in challenging such a remark. Whether such a remark is tossed out blithely (as it usually is) or taken seriously, what really matters is our own beliefs about illness and age.
Although some illnesses are age-related, many are not. In my case, I see illness and age as entirely separate
