can be part of my life, but I cannot allow it to become my whole existence. My pain can motivate me to help others who suffer. When I help others, the voice of my pain becomes fainter. Its whisper, however, remains a part of my very being.
Pain is like a rainy day; although it can bring me sadness, rain is necessary in order to nourish and nurture the flowers that bring me joy. So does my pain nourish my spirit, even though it too brings sadness; however, it makes my experience of life complete. I embrace my pain and continue to seek the many colors of life’s rainbow.
ADVERSITY
RELATIONSHIPS
“Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.”
William Shakespeare
It is much easier for me to do the things I need to do for my recovery when things are going my way. It’s easy to be an angel when no one is ruffling my feathers. During a regular day I take some comfort in my routine of waking up in the morning, praying and meditating, doing my physical exercises, going to work, attending my recovery meeting, and having a relaxing evening at home. Then trouble strikes.
Maybe my pain is extraordinarily bad, the kids are acting up, my partner is not “behaving” the way I’d like, or there are problems at work. Any one of those situations can create problems in any other, and I am faced with adversity in my life. My natural response is to break the healthy habits in my life and fall back on old habits: crying out from my pain, not feeling well enough to exercise, calling in sick to work, or not feeling like I have enough energy or strength to make it to a meeting. During my struggles in relationships it is more important than ever to reinforce the healthy habits in my life and not fall back on old habits that created far more adversity in my life than anything going on today.
I focus on the new habits in my life regardless of the adversity in my life. The routine and habits I establish in my recovery are not negotiable. My life and my relationships depend on these good habits, and no amount of adversity in my life is made better by falling back into old routines.
APPRECIATION
PHYSICAL BALANCE
“If you can’t appreciate what you have got, then get what you appreciate.”
Unknown
When is the last time I did something nice for myself? Have I taken myself to the spa lately? Have I gotten a pedicure or manicure? Maybe it is time for a massage. In pain recovery I learn to be appreciative of my body and the things it can do, rather than focusing on the things it cannot do. But do I actually show that appreciation? I run myself around, work hard, and work through my pain, but all too often it’s easy to let a whole day go by without having physical appreciation for what I have. I can do this in the simplest of ways: just massaging my feet, getting a nice lotion to rub on my arms and legs, taking a warm bath, or getting into the hot tub. In whatever way I choose—and it may be something I do every day, anyway—I do it with the intention of showing my body that I appreciate it.
I show my body appreciation by doing something special for it today. In doing things I normally do anyway, I make sure my intention is dedicated and focused on appreciation for my body and physically showing that body how grateful I am.
MEMORY
MENTAL BALANCE
“His heart was as great as the world, but there was no room in it to hold the memory of a wrong.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
My body not only remembers past injuries and significant changes in its structure and function, but it also holds onto past experiences. While my mind is quick to notice when my body is reminding me of physical trauma, my mind does not necessarily comprehend when my body is reminding me of other traumas. My mind may have blocked out certain experiences and memories for a reason. Perhaps my conscious mind is not ready to remember, so my body holds and stores the memory until I’m ready to address it. As a result, I may feel pain in different places where I had no physical injury.
The more I recover, the more my body is free from focusing on the area of chronic pain and is freed to start releasing pains and memories in other places. Without abusing medication and through working the steps, my body is starting to tell my mind that it is time to take these memories, process them, and be free from them. My mind cooperates with my body to work through my pain.
I reveal, heal, and instill new physical memories in my body by focusing my mind on the continuing journey of pain recovery. My body begins to release old and painful memories because my mind can handle it. In pain recovery, I catch those memories and release them to the love and light so that healing can happen in every area.
APPRECIATION
EMOTIONAL BALANCE
“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”
Voltaire
A balanced life may at times seem elusive. Just when I feel like things are going smoothly, I encounter a bump in the road. Recovery, just like life, is full of moments such as this. One of the many gifts I’ve received in recovery is a conscious awareness of myself that includes my actions, behaviors, and relationships with others. This ability doesn’t come naturally—it is something I must train myself to acknowledge physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
This process takes place minute by minute and day by day. It is when I experience moments of physical pain that I must reach within and put to use all of the tools that are available. It is my goal to practice awareness, tolerance, and acceptance for those things that are out of my control. Chronic pain isn’t something that can be controlled, but the way I view my pain can be.
I am patient with myself and accept those things over which I have no control. In addition, I do my part in identifying what I can manage, and look to my higher power, sponsor, and support group for strength, direction, and encouragement. I don’t have to do this alone. When I acknowledge and accept this, I move further into appreciation and gratitude, which then transcends into love for myself.
RECOVERY
SPIRITUAL BALANCE
“Recovery gives us a road back to health and true living, but it is rarely easy.”
Tails of Recovery: Addicts and the Pets That Love Them
“I’m different.” When I was new
