Example
You find yourself at an auction where you spot a table you really like. The bidding starts off at 500 and you are bidding against one other person. Both of you are very persistent. Finally your opponent bids 1000, and you get it for 1050. You have won the auction (note the linguistics!). You are not losing money but have won the chance to spend it.
In your predictable mind, only the final 50 may have been too much. Now the other buyer may have escaped from a lunatic asylum, but that idea does not enter your brain because it does not suit your Story2Tell. I outsmarted him sounds so much better. Meanwhile what really happened was that you based your value on someone else’s, a complete stranger’s. You just assumed that this man was an expert when it came to tables like this one – and he happened to think the same about you!
In fact you both drowned in a sea of emotions.
Let’s imagine the same scenario without any buyers, because the poor man failed to clear the gate of the madhouse. Then you’ll get that table for 500, the opening bid but now the whole 500 is at risk of seeming too much because nobody else wanted it. So maybe it’s worthless?
That means you were happy to pay 1050 and seriously doubting paying 500. Same item, same value. All we have changed is the emotion of winning.
The winning emotion
Do you enjoy going to the casino every now and then? After days, weeks, months or years of at times thinking the best and the worst of yourself at work as well as at home it is really pleasant to get a clear outcome even if you lose a bit of cash in the process. Your defence is theStory2Tell that in the end everyone loses in the casino!
But when you are the lucky fool sitting at the jackpot machine at the right time, you can feel a winner!
And here everyone knows about your success instantly because lights are blinking, music is playing and people congratulate you.
Isn’t that the clear recognition we are lacking in everyday life?
Mind you we are complimenting your brilliant decision to sit down in a chair and pull a handle at exactly the right moment. Pure luck, nothing genius about it. Yet casino winners are overwhelmed by emotions that money cannot buy.
Linguistics
Note also that the words winning and losing in particular can be used to create any reaction you desire.
This is the main reason why we can play with values during negotiations, because it can be so easy to predict what people will feel in certain situations. Sometimes a loser, sometimes a winner but always predictably so. It is the emotion that counts.
Perhaps this is the basis of all the revelations of NegoLogic:
If the emotion feels wrong, the deal cannot be right
Your opponent can be corrected by “the facts” as he gets to see them during the proceedings.
We can make good use of this discovery.
Allow others to choose between a slightly disappointing result that they can live with, or seemingly no deal at all, as long as they feel they may lose the deal or win the agreement. Confront them with what they have already invested so that they realise what they have to lose unless they deal with you.
TIP: Entice others to invest time, money and as much effort as you can get away with.
Example
You made it all easy for your counterpart. They get the deal handed on a silver plate. All they need to do is sign on the dotted line. You have done a great job!
But that is not all you have done. You have invested a lot of effort and they have invested nothing. It’s easy for them to walk away.
There is another option. You can ask them to present details, maybe travel and prepare. TEST: The more they are willing to do, the more eager they are, no matter what they tell you – this is a major sign. There are only limits if they set them. Just try how far you can take this principle.
There are two reasons why this works so well:
1 After investing they have more to lose.
2 The deeper the investment the more commitment they have shown beforehand. Even when you used some “salami” (small bits at a time), the effect remains the same.
For the next step the other party must be taken to the point of reconsideration, given room to rethink what really is the lowest they can accept or the highest they can live with. One thing should be made clear to them – changes must be made in order to conclude the deal!
This forced reconsideration can happen to anyone, and it has not happened to me often enough in my practice. That tells me that the level of opponents I have met with over the years, many of whom were highly-educated businessmen, lacked the most basic negotiation skills to push me beyond the point that I assumed as my limit. Had they used NegoLogic, then I would often have paid more or sold for less.
YES and NO
This is another principle I often found lacking in practice. We assume that the other party knows that we want to deal. We are there, aren’t we? Sorry, but that is not good enough. We must explain, show and prove that we are ready to pull the trigger.
Lord knows how many others act just like us but when push comes to shove they are suddenly lacking a mandate or have to get final approval from their bank.
In my experience: “Just a formality” often becomes much more than that. Showing YES has a double effect.
A) You separate yourself from others who just assume their objectives are clear.
B) From that moment onwards the other party knows that the only obstruction to closing the deal .... is them!
Don’t you think this creates a very strong realisation?.
Show NO
This is the perfect moment to stretch the boundaries of what seemed possible at first sight. Once YES has been established you must now show that you are just as willing and able to walk away if the terms are unreasonable in your eyes. Now you have created a perfectly clear picture of the possibilities where others would leave their position obscured by fog.
Training
Now, after teaching and training for over three years I can see that our current education system fails to prepare participants for real negotiations. Executives overestimate their skills and because there is rarely a basis for any real comparison – every single negotiation differs from every other – this dream is allowed to become a costly nightmare for the company.
It is ludicrous to think anyone can practice successful negotiation without serious consideration, training and exercise. This common lack has enabled me to use hilarious situations1 from my own practice as teaching and training material..
Whenever there is serious money on the line
