their position. This can never happen by force from outside2, but as the result of reasoning coming from within.
When it makes perfect sense and appears fair, the final result appears to be in total balance. Because of this fact anyone can be satisfied with a lesser result.
Which one of us doesn’t trust his own gut feeling?
NegoLogic is all about exchanging values for feelings, trading assets against emotions. With both earlier examples you have seen that the same person in different situations is liable to accept different prices; more than the highest or less than the lowest.
The worst result satisfied him, but the best didn’t.
That person is you, me and everyone on the planet.
Because we are all human and guilty of predictability.
The sentence is a cash fine!
Our thoughts can be steered like a remote car, but it is not all bad news. This acknowledgement enables us to answer a major question correctly.
Which tool is imperative to close deals?
The answer: Triggering the right emotions in another person.
FACT 1: Satisfaction can be triggered by aspects other than the result
We are so predictable when we barter that our emotions and decisions can be directed by an exact sequence of events. This is not always as easy as in my earlier examples, but brings unexpected rewards that we cannot accomplish in any other manner.
We cannot win every negotiation, but we can improve on the status quo, change a loss into a draw, and a draw into a win and a winning situation into more than we can imagine in our wildest dreams.
Trading assets against emotions
FOCUS: Why are we so vulnerable?
Before you meet your opponent, you are completely in the dark. What is their position regarding the upcoming negotiation? What is their bottom line and how to find it? Will they be reasonable or impossible? Maybe they are already hooked on closing the deal with you? Then anything you give in to, no matter how small or reasonable would be seen as a gift. Do you really want to play Santa Claus?
ELABORATE: There is no way of knowing their limits at this point, so you will feel blindfolded. All you know is that the other side opposes you and when they start pushing you in any direction, it is only a matter of time before you will lean the other way because you sure-as-bleep do not want to fall over in the direction of their choice.
SOLUTION: So this leaning against the direction that you are being pushed is a prediction that will – at one time or another – come true. Can you see the importance of this promise?
Because when it is you doing the pushing, you will be able to direct their actions! Just by pushing the other way.
Does that sound like magic?
This is just the beginning of NegoLogic.
Winning
The major thought on anyone’s mind? “Can we WIN the negotiation?”
FOCUS: Hanging on to the word winning
Which do you prefer, winning or losing?
Even before the proceedings have started, we fully intend to win every negotiation, regardless of position, proof or arguments because humans like to win, winning feels good.
Losers… well, they are losers. Any questions?
ELABORATE: No jackpot in sight! So what exactly winning entails is not always so easy to determine when it comes to a subject as diverse and fragmented as a commercial negotiation can become.
And should become! Because we have the need to find the exact right level of complications on our path to signing on the dotted line. A negotiation must not be too confusing, nor too easy. We will come back to this aspect later.
We confuse our ego with our position, and get insulted when one or the other is attacked, because then we feel that both are under fire. Separating your ego from the deal is really important. One matters, the other should never be allowed to.
The outcome of most negotiations will be described by both negotiators as follows:
“We have reached the best result possible, given the circumstances.”
Circumstances! But what are they? And what role do you play in creating them?
The reality of new facts are revealed, the brick wall or final stand of your opponent. Most people will not go beyond a certain point without really good reasons (to tell onwards to others). Before the proceedings start, these are unknown factors for both parties.
What makes someone feel like a winner?
Usually, it’s just two points.
Bearing in mind that the last concession is usually of minor importance, you probably can guess where I am heading.
SOLUTION: Yes, I want you to lose every negotiation!
But let’s call that what it really is.
Allow your opponent to experience winning, while you settle for the money.
Because if winning is a state of mind that can be triggered by the attitude of the “loser”, it is meaningless, and your counterpart is more than welcome to the glory.
There are also practical reasons for being generous, because what good is it to get your way if the deal fails to go through?
You increase that risk by gloating over a victory.
Your sole aim is to change your opponent’s mind regarding the value of whatever you are buying or selling...
Change your opponent’s mind on what the value is.
