JONATHAN: I used to like Tiswas. With Spit the Dog. And Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World. And The Littlest Hobo. I loved dogs.
NIKKI: ‘Down the road, that’s where I want to beeee …’ And I loved Jim’ll Fix It. Shhh. And Jonathan loved Star Wars when he was a kid. I just do not get Star Wars. It’s the most boring thing.
JONATHAN: No. Star Wars is brilliant.
NIKKI: When the kids saw it, Josh just wanted to know where it was set.
JOSH: I didn’t know it was meant to be set on another planet like Avatar is or … I don’t know, like a fantasy planet. Or two separate planets and they fought in space.
JONATHAN:Star Wars. It’s set in the stars.
REV. KATE & GRAHAM, NOTTINGHAMSHIRE
GRAHAM: Well, obviously, my parents were so middle-class we didn’t even have a telly.
KATE: Grew up without a telly.
GRAHAM: No cultural references.
KATE: So, a lot of the time I’ll say things like, oh, Chorlton and the Wheelies – and Graham will go, ‘What?’ So, when I’m introducing my kids to stuff, I sometimes have to introduce Graham too. I’ll go, ‘Do you not remember this?’ And he’ll go, ‘I didn’t watch telly in the 70s.’ But what about the TV that you sneaked into the vicarage?
GRAHAM: Oh yeah. I mended a telly and just put it in my room.
KATE: And your mum used to come in and watch tennis on it when your dad wasn’t looking.
GRAHAM: One day, Dad said, ‘You shouldn’t have that – you haven’t got a licence.’ I went, ‘I’ve just bought one.’
KATE: He bought his own TV licence.
GRAHAM: Mum said, ‘I think you should get rid of it.’ I said, but you’ve just been watching tennis for the past two hours, so are you sure about that? The next week they went out and bought a colour telly.
LINDA, PETE & GEORGE, CLACTON-ON-SEA
LINDA:Lassie. I used to just cry my eyes out at Lassie.
PETE:Grandstand.
LINDA: See, we’re so different.
THE X FACTOR
THE MICHAELS, BRIGHTON
ANDREW: It’s like a Victorian freak show.
THE SIDDIQUIS, DERBY
BAASIT: Jesus Christ, man. One million people haven’t got anything better to do on a Sunday night.
THE TAPPERS, NORTH LONDON
AMY: What does the ‘X’ stand for? Xylophone?
THE SIDDIQUIS, DERBY
BAASIT: You know it’s a shit performance when the first thing Dermot pays compliment to is the stage.
