Chapter 2
The way we do things around here
As managers, our greatest challenges nearly always relate to people, and in particular being able to motivate, engage and get the most out of our teams. Over the years, I have learnt that there is no magic wand that you can wave to achieve these outcomes, although managers and leaders who are able to build their skills to get these outcomes are the ones everyone loves to work for, and are the ones who achieve amazing results with their teams.
So whilst I cannot promise you that magic wand, after you have read this book I can promise that if you put the techniques into practice you will certainly be a better leader than most, and undoubtedly one who people enjoy working with. You will also have a team that is empowered, engaged and achieves great results.
Research carried out a number of years ago suggests that in a typical workplace up to 60 per cent of people’s potential is not used. The main reason for this is the inability of managers, through lack of awareness and skills, to create a culture that values people using more of their potential in the workplace, and typically these managers adopt a ‘telling’ style. Indeed, most managers adopt this style because it is what is passed on to them by their peers and it is what they think is required of them in their role.
In my experience in typical workplace cultures years ago, ‘telling’ people what to do was the norm and I see little evidence to suggest that this is not commonplace in many workplaces today – and I have worked with a lot of organisations! In fact, whenever I share this opinion in workshops I have never had anyone disagree with me, and they invariably confirm that this is standard practice in their own workplaces. On a positive note, I am going to suggest that by creating a culture where asking Better Questions is the norm, we will tap into the potential of our teams and the 60 per cent of unused potential will be an historical statistic.
Beliefs
Given the critical role managers play in creating cultures, it makes sense to start this journey by asking you to look at your role as a manager or leader. The starting point to reflect upon is our mindset, because what we think drives our behaviours, actions and, ultimately, the results we achieve within our role. Very often I find that before we can look at changing anything, we have to start by looking at the way we are and the beliefs that sit behind our behaviour.
When we look closely at our beliefs, we frequently find that what we think isn’t something that we have chosen; it is something that has become programmed into our brains through:
•historic experiences or perceived experiences
•being passed on by relations/friends/significant people in our lives
•the media
•religious teachings
•cultural norms
•conforming to popular opinion or the ‘normal’ way of doing things.
Rarely do we make conscious choices about what we believe, and it can be shocking to realise how much of our thinking is based on conforming to set views rather than on independent, well-considered, rational thought. We have a natural tendency to go with the crowd and to conform, and most of the time we don’t even realise we are doing it.
In our workplaces, one of the first things that we experience when we take on a new role is an induction program. Whilst there is merit in undertaking such training, it is that we are being inducted into ‘the way we do things around here’, and the conforming starts without most of us being conscious that we aren’t making choices about what we’d prefer to do. Whilst I accept that this isn’t about having a free reign to do whatever we choose, I suggest that it isn’t always good to make everyone fit into the same box.
Two good questions to consider are: ‘What are the expectations of my role?’ and ‘How do I want to go about meeting these expectations?’ Very often the answers to these questions are outlined to us by our organisations in an overt way in the form of job descriptions, during interviews and in the directions provided when we start our new roles. We have to remember that whilst expectations of us are outlined during these processes, we must also consider what guidelines we are being given about our approach to achieving these results.
Sometimes these guidelines are provided by values and behavioural expectations, although frequently the ‘how you go about things’ is left to your discretion. That said, we often receive subconscious messages that will provide us with guidance. How often do people give you some friendly advice about what you should and shouldn’t do to be successful within your organisation? In addition, during conversations and interactions we are subjected to ‘role modelling’ behaviour by our colleagues and, in this way, we are indoctrinated into the culture of our organisations. Whilst the messages delivered to a new employee are frequently subtle, it is interesting to note the impact they have on the employee and their way of thinking, which in turn affects the way in which they fulfil their role.
Self-reflection
A good way to become aware of your practices is to do some honest self-reflection about the way that you are approaching your role. Whilst we often espouse certain values or behaviours, the reality is that no one knows that we consider those values or behaviours to be particularly important because they are not apparent from what we do on a day-to-day basis.
I have worked with managers who say that they value empowering people, but if you ask their teams whether their manager carries out this practice, they will probably laugh at you and tell you that their manager is controlling and dictatorial! So, we should honestly reflect on recognising that we have ideals about how we’d like to be, but our actual practice may not meet these ideals and the reality and experience of others is frequently different to ours.
One powerful way that we can carry out this honest self-reflection is to ask ourselves what others might say about us if they were asked to give a short description of our leadership style. If you have high self-awareness, there is a good chance that you will be fairly accurate with this. However, if you genuinely have no idea how you are perceived and are courageous enough to ask, then why not ask some people informally how they would describe you? It can be an enlightening experience!
The good news is that when we do become aware of how we would like to operate, it is possible to work on this so that it becomes a reality. Recently, I was suddenly struck by the realisation that if I went to people who knew me well, they were most unlikely to describe me as being a ‘kind person’. Whilst I admit that being aware of this did not make me feel good, I always remind myself that whenever I do find something that I don’t like about myself, I should celebrate it because once I am aware of it I can choose to change. If I continued in ignorance doing what I have always done for the rest of my life, the potential for change would not present itself. So, honest self-reflection, whilst initially uncomfortable, can be an amazing tool to enable us to learn and grow, and to enable us to be the best that we can be.
When I became aware of my desire to be described as ‘kind’, I recognised that something had to change in the way I was going about doing things – in other words, a change was needed in my behaviour. It was no good simply being aware of the need to change – it meant I had to take action. My approach to this was to start a reflection journal that I completed each evening, where I would ask myself honestly how I had demonstrated kindness during that day. I have to say that when I started to do this, I was quite disappointed in myself because I couldn’t think of things
