to see if we could disconnect without contact or a tether and if we were able to disconnect, for how long. A discussion about the unstable balance that seems to come after we’d appreciated each other in the extreme (the kiss back) was important. Should we try the kiss back again? We needed to discuss the changes in the strength of the connect and what caused the changes and the overwhelming need to show each other our gratitude.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was the fear I had all the time. I’d mentioned it to him the day before so he was aware of what I was going through. I told him about the fear first to be honest with him but second because he may have needed to use the information when examining his own feelings. With that list, breakfast could take all day, but I dutifully transferred the list in my head to paper for scrutiny later.
Michael’s “I’m coming,” was the best sound I’d ever heard. I’d begun to get anxious and fully frightened. When he stepped through the door, I could see the stress on his face. He needed me as much as I needed him. He rushed into my embrace and wrapped himself up with me and we stood still for a full minute again.
Eventually Michael took my hand. “Let’s go order breakfast, I’m starved.”
When we stepped out from the wardrobe we heard a knock on the glass. There was Denice at the slider looking in with her face pushed up to the window and her hands shielding the light rays so that she could see inside. She was a vision in the morning sunlight. Her hair shined and her eyes sparkled. She was wearing a lavender blouse and purple shorts. Her tanned skin complimented everything she wore. Like the days before, she was wearing a beautiful flower in her hair. That one was lavender and purple with white accents – just a lovely vision.
Michael noticed, “Wow, she looks great.”
I said, “Yeah, she always does.”
“Good morning Denice.” We both greeted her in unison. We laughed not knowing that that would be one of the days when we said everything together – like two peas in a pod.
Like the day before, Denice ordered breakfast and had it set up and ready for us. She also brought us the Patter’s so we got right to it, Michael and me to the breakfast and Denice to the Patter. Breakfast felt like a déjà vu. Yes I was pretty certain that we’d had the very same experience at breakfast the day before.
As we ate, Michael and I looked over the Patter just in case there might be a surprise or two but in the end, there was nothing of interest to either one of us. We ate the wonderful repast that Denice had provided for us like we were two starving souls. At one point Michael made me take a bite of his lox and bagel because he thought it was so good. It was good and in return I gave him a bite of my eggs Benedict. He smiled as I had to wipe the egg from his chin. We had all but forgotten about Denice when I caught her watching us.
“Well,” she said, “You two seem to be getting along. I don’t feel so bad about the plans I’ve made with Manny for today - for Hilo.”
“Oh,” I said, “You’ve made plans for today?” It was more of a statement than a question. “What’cha got goin’?”
“Manny has friends in Hilo. We’re going to their place and then some sightseeing and then a barbeque back at their house, I think, then back to the ship. I want to nap in the late afternoon before dinner; not getting enough sleep.”
When she leaned over to pick up the patter that she dropped on the deck, I noticed that she had another hickey it was on her right breast and only visible at that angle. I guess she was having a good time but I did miss her. We hadn’t a moment alone for a ‘girl’s chat’ the whole time we’d been aboard.
“I’m supposed to meet Manny for a quick breakfast before we disembark. So, I’ll see you late this afternoon. Maybe we will get a chance to catch-up.” Then she was gone.
“Alone, at last,” Michael said. “I’ve been thinking we have a bunch to talk about this morning. You talked about making a list; we should probably do that now.”
I reached into my bag and brought out the list that I put together while he was in the shower. I showed it to him and asked, “Is this what you were talking about? Do you think we have stuff to add to that?”
Michael looked over the list I had compiled and said, “That’s a good enough start. Let’s take ‘em in order. The first two are easy. I don’t want to take a shore excursion today so we don’t have to figure out if we are going together or separately. As for testing the disconnect – that makes me a little nervous but experimenting here where we feel safe will be ok. Let’s do the testing after we have a catch this morning.”
He’d mentioned the first three on the list. It was my turn to take the lead. “Do you have any insight into why our balance is so unstable? I can only guess that the imbalance was caused by the kiss back or… wait a minute…before we did the kiss back, you kissed me – remember.” I waited to see him nod in recognition. “Maybe I need to kiss you, not a kiss back, to create the balance again. You know tit or tat”
“Makes sense to me,” Michael said suggestively.
“When should we do that?”
Why I felt so shy was beyond me but the suggestive tenor in Michael’s voice contributed to some already erotic thinking I had going on since I’d found myself in Michael’s bed that morning.
“Looks like you think you’ve taken care of number 5 on the list – the kiss back – I’m not so sure that we can just let that go. Maybe we can address it again after you kiss me and we see if the balance is back.” He was thinking logically.
“There’s a problem with ‘seeing if the balance is back.’ The balance comes and goes and seems to be directly related to how much appreciation we show each other. My observation is that we are balanced when we’re bound tightly together or after we have been appreciated. But, only for a period of time.”
“I think it might have something to do with the reconnect. I feel balanced after we have reconnected after a disconnect.” He laughed at the way he phrased that and so did I.
“Usually we appreciate each other the most after we reconnect but the balance doesn’t remain constant, after a time the balance gets lopsided. I think that it isn’t the reconnect that is causing the imbalance but something else.” I decided to go for it, “Michael can we go inside to the push together beds and may I kiss you?”
“Right now?” his words but mine were right on top of his, “Right now.” We said the words at exactly the same time but his was a question and mine was a statement. He laughed but was up and pulled me to the beds without another word. Once inside, I took up my place on the bed and Michael joined me on the propped up pillows. I sat up looking down at him, his eyes looking up at me in expectation. When my hand touched his face, he leaned into it. I stroked his jaw line, traced over his eyebrows and closed eyes and caressed his temple with my fingertips. Without any other fan fare I moved in close to whisper in his ear, “Thank you.” Then I turned my attention to his mouth.
With my right hand I gently coaxed Michael’s face slightly to the left to put us in alignment. I remembered how exquisite the anticipation was when Michael kissed me and I wanted no less for him. I approached his mouth slowly and stopped before our lips met. Suspended just a hairs breath from the target, I wanted to say something to him to let him know just how much I appreciated how wonderful he’d been to me, to tell him what a pleasure my time with him had been. But really, how much control do you think I could muster? I brushed my lips across his and heard his surprise that morphed into a moan of need
