still think that we should do what we can together,” he said and I didn’t argue.
“Ok,” I said, “Come in when you hear the toilet flush.”
As usual I did my business quickly but I washed my hands before I flushed the toilet so that Michael would wait just a bit more, I was sure that he could handle a bit more time because we still had a connection through the flossed toe.
When Michael heard the toilet flush and came into the bathroom he was trying to be nonchalant but his eyes betrayed him. I could feel the connection just fine but Michael was out of balance – didn’t know how that could have happened. I turned and wrapped my arms around him to give him more comfort with the stronger connection. Once he had established his position with his arms holding me close and very still. We stood like statues for a full minute.
We finished our personal ministrations and I waited on the other side of the door – our toe floss still connected.
Michael finished and when I heard the toilet flush, I opened the door and moved in. Michael was washing his hands; I stood behind him and put my arms around his waist. It wasn’t urgent but the need was still there and I knew he wouldn’t mind; he still had a need to please me. He turned so that he could participate in the hug.
He put both hands on my face and kissed me on the top of my head.
“This feels good to me. Standing here in your arms feeling you kiss my head feels right, perfect especially when I’m feeling confused in general. I’m afraid of it and I’m afraid to lose it.” When I said that, Michael pulled me tighter to him.
“We’ve had quite a day. Maybe we should sleep; I’m pretty tired.”
Michael was being practical. I could feel him searching for my pinkie to hook up so I hooked my hands together around him to make it impossible for him to get a hold of my fingers. I wanted a few more minutes. He laughed but held me until I was ready and found his pinkie.
There was so much to talk about but I was extremely tired so I just moved to the balcony with Michael and crawled into my make shift bed. I was asleep in less than a minute.
Again, with the erotic dreams throughout the night; I was a bit off when I woke in the morning. The odd thing was that I didn’t wake up on my own cot. When I woke, I was wrapped in Michael’s arms on his chair and had no recollection of how I got there.
Trying to Understand
He was watching me when I woke up and saw the confused look on my face.
“Good morning,” he greeted me.
“Good morning,” I answered.
“Did you get nervous about the connection in the middle of the night; is that why you’re here with me?”
“Helen, you’re here with me, not the other way around.”
“What do you mean?” I said, confused.
“You came to me last night and asked to sleep in my arms. You said you were afraid.”
He could see that I had no recall of the incident.
“Helen, don’t you remember?”
“No I don’t remember anything after we got in bed; I was asleep. Tell me exactly what happened, please.”
“You jumped up sometime in the middle of the night but before that you were mumbling in your sleep which woke me. I watched you jump up like something startled you. You stood there in the dark for about a minute before you came over to my bed. You squatted down and whispered in my ear. I really didn’t think much about it because every other night I ended up in your bed. I was pleased when you said that you didn’t want to be without me and would I please hold you very tight because you were frightened.”
“What happened next?” That was like it happened to someone other than me.
“I made room for you on my bed and then you curled up next to me with your head on my shoulder and my arms around you as tight as possible until you fell a sleep.”
“Did I say anything else?”
I was freaked out over not remembering any of it.
“Well, you told me you loved me a bunch of times before you went to sleep and twice after you were asleep.”
I felt like crying again but that time I didn’t know if I would be able to protect Michael from the tears. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Michael’s breathing and listened to his heart beat. After a couple of moments we both sighed, that deep together sigh.
When I thought I could control the tears, I spoke.
“Michael I don’t remember any of that. There’ve been reports of me talking in my sleep but I’ve never heard myself so I can’t corroborate those reports. The same goes for the reports of me sleep walking – there were only a few. And, shouldn’t I have an inkling of something? I’m confused.”
Michael gave me a squeeze.
“It’s the connect; we’ve somehow gotten out of balance again. We’ll probably need to make a correction in something we’ve done. Let’s put off the discussion until after we have taken care of a few things for ourselves like getting dressed, breakfast, Denice, and that kind of thing.”
“Ok,” I said. “There’s a lot to talk about; we should make a list.”
“At breakfast we’ll do the list, right now let’s go get our showers.”
Enough discussion, we were up and into the bathroom, brushed our teeth together, Michael shaved, I watched. Time came for Michael to leave the bathroom we found that we were still tethered to each other by big toes. Michael removed the floss and left me there to take my shower and use the commode.
I leaned on the door for just a brief time trying to keep the connection strong. My shower was short but I accomplished everything from washing my hair to shaving my legs. I stayed in the shower to dry off and put on the clean underwear (bra and panties) and the not so clean shorts. I realized I’d forgotten to ask Michael if he had a t-shirt I could wear until I got one of my own. I put my forehead to the door and said, “I’m coming.”
Michael was pretty intense with his greeting so the reconnect answered us and treated us. It was almost like a drug and when given the fix the rest was dreamland, perfect. We both took advantage of the moment and were comforted with feelings of peace and balance.
Soon Michael took his turn in the bathroom and shower. While on the other side of the door, I dried my hair using my hands and brush; I put lotion on all of my skin. There were drawers in the wardrobe so I looked to see if I could find a t-shirt to wear until I went to my stateroom. I found a ‘wife beater’ and slipped it over my head. The feel of the fabric on my skin was strange (what hadn’t been strange about that trip?) comforting, sexy.
Michael took longer in the bathroom than he usually did; I had my bag with me so I had stuff to do while I waited.
I started my mental list of things to look at and talk about while we were at breakfast. We needed to talk about Hilo, shore
