and great sexual action. Your own image of yourself is created by the media, your friends and the distorted “you” that you see when you look into your mirror.
The beauty myth
The sexual revolution of the sixties and the feminist movement of the seventies brought major changes to women’s lives and shifted relationships between men and women significantly. Blame the feminist movement when a girl tells you she wants to be treated as your equal, when she feels entitled to earn the same salary as you for the same job. She must be a young woman who has a great sense of her own worth!
However, much of the benefit of the sexual revolution and the feminist movement has been undermined by the beauty myth. Throughout history society has had standards of beauty, but at no time before has there been such an intense media blitz telling us what we should look like. The beauty myth tells a story: women must want to embody it, and men must want to possess women who embody it. Think about any advertisement. It will have a gorgeous woman in it, with a lot of her flesh exposed. She will be draped seductively over the advertised car, boat or bed. The media is using her sexuality to sell a product – what an insult to all the pride that feminism instilled in women!
The “ideal” female body has been stripped down to being an object and is on display everywhere. Women are given graphic details of perfection against which to measure themselves. Watching MTV is scary stuff – you mean I should look like that? Both guys and girls anxiously scrutinise their bodies in minute detail. They believe they have to have that face, that body, to score a partner and be successful.
Guys are in a bit of a crisis with this beauty myth. They are mostly interested in women’s bodies and too often don’t actually get to see and know girls for who they really are. They are being taught that a woman’s value lies in her beauty. They watch guys in the media who embody the beauty myth and they too want to look like the strong, handsome dude who owns the house, car and credit cards – because he’s the one who gets the girls.
Pain and hunger set in for both men and women. Literally. Eating disorders are testimony to the beauty myth.
What happens when you open your favourite glossy magazine? You may feel simultaneously infuriated and seduced. You could be grateful to escape temporarily into this paradise where you are the centre of the Universe. I want, I want… At the same time you could be outraged that unobtainable standards of wealth, luxury and beauty exclude you and most men and women that you know. You want to look beautiful. Yet one tends to think that wanting to look beautiful is about the dumbest goal one could have.
As an emerging adult you are responsible for sifting, questioning, being hyperalert to the messages about beauty you are receiving. Think of beauty differently. Yes, physical beauty is to be admired but it really is skin-deep, fades with time and is most definitely no guarantee of a great life as an adult.
Body modification
Become educated about body-altering before making any decisions.
Feel that earring lightly caressing your neck, tugging gently on your ear lobe? Kind of sexy, isn’t it? It’s meant to be. Earrings were originally designed to enlarge the ear lobes of men and women as in certain cultures large ear lobes were considered sexy and attractive. Humans have always found ways to enhance their beauty and make themselves feel more erotic and sexy by modifying their bodies.
What is meant by “body modification” or “body alteration”? It is the permanent or semipermanent deliberate altering of your body for nonmedical reasons – for beauty. Nearly every human society has practised or practises some type of body modification. Now it might be difficult for you to get your head around some of this stuff, but remember each one of us is an individual and we all have the right to make choices about how our bodies look. I certainly prefer that people make individual choices rather than be dictated to by the beauty myth.
However (and there is always a “however”!), definite rules apply to the choices you make about body modification:
•Taking responsibility for how your body looks physically carries consequences with it. So rule number 1 is: Become educated about body-altering before making any decisions.
•If you are under the age of consent, wait. If you are an “adult”, research what you’re planning to do. It can be very expensive to correct or undo.
•Any body alteration is a definite and permanent statement.
•Your friends may encourage you – if you alter your body to please others or to feel a sense of belonging, you may regret it later. The choice has to come from your own heart.
•Consider all the pros and cons before making your decision: pain and permanence are important factors.
•Discuss the idea of body modification with your parents first. Get an idea of their values and beliefs on this as it may help you to make up your mind. It also gives them an opportunity to get into your head.
•There is still a lot of stigma attached to most forms of body modification, so be prepared to be judged and put into a category according to your choice of body alteration. The ignorance and fear of others will lead to them labelling you – and it will not always be a nice label.
Types of body modification
Make-up
Consider all the pros and cons before making your decision: pain and permanence are important factors.
I bet you would not have thought of this as falling into the category of body alteration.
When to begin using make-up may be determined by your peers, your parents’ attitude and of course pressure to look like your favourite teenage pop star. Make-up is fun and is available to enhance your natural looks. Look through magazines, pick up tips from television and movies and be aware of other people’s make-up. But use a critical eye and create your own individual look. Permanent make-up is exactly what it says, so be careful when choosing to colour your eyebrows in black or have a permanent red line done to your lips. As you become an adult you will want to play with different looks all the time.
Hair
Guys might not choose make-up to alter their looks, but they can be very creative with modifying their looks using their hair. Hair on your head can be long, cut, shaved, styled and dyed. On your face, growing a moustache, beard and sideburns are obvious choices.
Ever thought of plaiting your chin hairs, or dying your eyebrows? Of course you should honour restrictions placed on you through school and family rules. But think out of the box when creating your identity.
Cosmetic surgery
The most popular form of body modification. Undergoing expensive and often painful surgery is the choice of many young people in pursuit of the beauty myth. Breast enlargement, breast reduction, liposuction (removal of fat from stomach and thigh areas), lip augmentation (plumping up lips), eye and nose alteration and complete facials are some of the most common procedures. If your self-esteem is deeply compromised by a part of your body that cannot be changed through healthy eating and exercise, then you could consider cosmetic surgery. Otherwise face the mirror rather than the knife!
