href="#fb3_img_img_834f03e6-b8b0-5d82-bb4a-a77ab5744e8e.jpg" alt=""/> self-love
Self-love
Confident people love themselves, and, moreover, their self-love is not a well-hidden secret. It is obvious to the outsider that they care about themselves because their behaviour and lifestyle are self-nurturing. With this component of inner confidence children will, for example:
– retain their natural inclination to value both their physical and emotional needs and place these on an equal footing with the needs of others
– feel quite justified in their attempts to get these needs met; they will not inwardly torture themselves with guilt every time they ask for, or get, something they want
– be open in their demands for praise, reassurance and rewards and not try to manipulate you or anyone else into giving these indirectly
– enjoy being nurtured by others and become experts at learning how to do this for themselves
– feel proud of their good features and concentrate on making the most of these; they will not want to waste too much time, energy or money on their own imperfections
– want to be healthy and so will (eventually!) take heed of the wisdom about brushing their teeth, eating sensibly and keeping fit
– not knowingly persist in doing things that will sabotage their chances of success and happiness or shorten their lives
Self-knowledge
Inwardly confident people are also very self-aware. They do not stare constantly at their own navels, but they do regularly reflect on their feelings, thoughts and behaviour and are always interested to know how they are being perceived by others. If children develop good self-knowledge they will, for example:
Confident people love themselves
– be very aware of their strengths and therefore be much more able to meet their full potential
– know their weaknesses and limitations and therefore be less likely to set themselves up constantly for failure
– grow up with a firm sense of their own identity and therefore be much more able and content to become an ‘individual’ and not sheepishly follow ‘the crowd’
– have a sound sense of their own values so they will not be constantly fretting about whether or not the things they or others are doing (or not doing) are morally justified
– are more likely to have friends who are ‘right’ for them because they know what qualities they need from friendship
– be open to taking feedback from others and not always leaping on the defensive at the first hint of criticism
– be willing and eager to take constructive help and tuition because they are not ‘know-alls’
Clear goals
There is almost always a sense of purpose surrounding confident people. This is because they have a clear idea of why they are taking a
Confident people have a
strong sense of purpose
particular course of action and of the kind of results they can realistically expect. With this ingredient bolstering up their inner confidence children will, for example:
– get in the habit of setting themselves achievable goals; they will not always need to be dependent on others to ‘make’ them do things
– have more energy and excitement because they will be motivated
– have more persistence because they will see even the small and sometimes boring steps forward as having a purpose
Confident people are very self-aware
– learn the important art of self-evaluation because they will be able to monitor their progress in the light of the goals they have set themselves
– find decision-making relatively easy because they have a clear idea of what they want and need from the outcome
Positive thinking
Confident people are usually great company; one of the reasons why is that they are in the habit of seeing the brighter side of life and will be expecting and looking for good experiences and outcomes. With this important inner strength children will, for example:
– grow up expecting life to be generally good
– think the best of people unless there is a particular reason to be wary
– believe that most problems have a solution
– not waste energy worrying about possible negative outcomes
– believe that the future has the potential to be as good (if not better) than the past
– be willing to work through the uncomfortable frustrations of change because they like the excitement of growth and development
– be prepared to put time and energy into learning – and doing the necessary ‘ground work’ – because they believe that their goals will eventually be achieved
What is outer confidence?
In order to convey a confident impression to the rest of the world, your child will also need to develop skills in the following four areas:
Confident people see the brighter side of life
It’s no wonder that the priciest private schools and the very best state schools put so much emphasis on the attainment of these skills
