some men don’t. But you’re not here.
OK, well, that’s all. Hope married life is going wonderfully!
You have an instant message from: RUBY.
Ruby: Katie told Sally what??
Rosie: I know, it’s crazy, isn’t it? And Katie wrote that letter after I had only been on one date with Greg!
Ruby: Wow, she must really like him to be telling people about him so soon. Ah well, maybe Sally won’t feel like you’re trying to get your grubby little mitts on her husband now.
Rosie: Ah, who cares anyway? I have my Greg!
Ruby: Ugh, you make me sick. You’ve turned into one of those sickening couples that we hate. You two are carrying on like love-struck teenagers; I think I’ll have to find a new single friend so that I don’t feel like a complete gooseberry the next time we go out.
Rosie: You’re such a liar! You were having a great time with all those guys every time I looked at you. You were the centre of attention!
Ruby: Oh, a girl does what she has to … Anyway, you must have spotted me only on the rare occasion you detached your lips from Greg’s. Oh, by the way, that guy called me last night so I’m thinking of—
You have an instant message from: GREG.
Greg: Hello, gorgeous. How’s your day going?
Rosie: Oh, hello! Oh, it’s the same as usual … better now, though!
Ruby: Hello? Are you still there or has Randy Andy attacked you?
Rosie: Sorry, Greg, just a second. I’m chatting to Ruby online too!
Greg: Do you two ever do any work?!
Rosie: Enough to keep ourselves from getting fired.
Greg: I’ll try you again later.
Rosie: No, no! Don’t be silly! I’m perfectly capable of carrying on two conversations at the same time. Besides, I want to chat to you and if I tell that to Ruby she’ll be even more angry at me for becoming one of them …
Greg: Who’s ‘them’?
Rosie: Part of the secret couple élite.
Greg: Oh, them! Of course, silly me …
Rosie: Sorry, Ruby, Greg is messaging me too, so bear with me for a few minutes.
Ruby: Can you two not live without each other for a few hours?
Rosie: No!
Ruby: Oh, I miss Rosie. Who are you and what have you done to my man-hating friend?
Rosie: Don’t worry, she’s still here, just taking a well-deserved break. So what were you saying about this guy you met the other night?
Ruby: Oh yeah, his name is Ted (a real teddy bear), he’s overweight but then again so am I so who cares; we can bounce off each other. He’s a truck driver and he seemed like a nice guy because he kept buying me drinks, which puts him up pretty high on my Decent Man scale. Plus he was the only person who wasn’t ignoring me in the pub that night.
Rosie: Oh, I’m so sorry, but you know what it’s like when you meet someone new: you want to get to know everything about them.
Ruby: No, I don’t quite want to know everything about Ted … I don’t want to be put off him.
Rosie: So, Greg, what are you doing tonight?
Greg: Rosie, my dear, I am all yours! Why don’t we get a bottle of wine, some takeaway and stay in? We can get Katie a DVD or something.
Rosie: Yep, that sounds like a great idea! And Katie will be really excited to see you.
Ruby: So should I call him?
Rosie: Call who?
Ruby: TED!
Rosie: Oh, yeah, of course! Ask him out. I can get Kevin to baby-sit and then we can all go on a double date. I’ve always wanted to do that!
Ruby: Oh, please, the innocence of the young and inexperienced. Ted and Greg will have absolutely nothing in common. They’re like chalk and cheese: a bank manager and a possible bank robber. They will hate each other, the atmosphere will be awkward, no one will talk, all you’ll hear is the munching of food in our mouths over the deafening silence like some kind of weird Chinese torture, we’ll all refuse dessert, skip the coffee, pay, leg it out the door and feel relieved and promise ourselves never to meet up again.
Rosie: How does next Friday sound?
Ruby: Friday’s fine.
Greg: I hope Ruby is OK with us after the other night; we were kind of in a world of our own.
Rosie: Don’t be silly, she didn’t mind at all. She met some guy called Teddy Bear. Oh, and by the way, are you free to go out on a double date thingy for dinner on Friday night? That’s if I can get a baby-sitter for Katie.
Greg: A dinner date with Ruby and a man named Teddy Bear. Sounds interesting.
Rosie: Greg said he’s free for dinner on Friday.
Ruby: Well, that’s all very well but I haven’t asked Ted yet. What did Alex say about you and Greg being in love?
Rosie: Well, I didn’t say I was in love, Ruby! Greg and I haven’t even said that to each other yet! But Alex sent me some weird letter telling me that he thinks that Greg sounds like a freak of nature and that he’s insulted that I don’t think that he’s supportive of me and Katie. He just went on a bit of a rant, to be honest, but I won’t take any notice because he had worked all night at the hospital and he was tired.
Ruby: Uh-huh.
Rosie: What’s that supposed to mean?
Ruby: This is just as I suspected. He’s jealous.
Rosie: Alex is not jealous!
Ruby: Alex is jealous of your relationship with Greg; he feels threatened.
Greg: So what time should I call over to you tonight? Seven or eight?
Rosie: No, Alex is not jealous of my relationship with Greg! Why should he be? He’s married to perfect pretty little Sally – happily, might I add (at least according to Sally) – and I have a lovely photograph of the two of them lying on the beach together looking very much in love just to prove it. I gave him a chance to be part of Katie’s life and mine and he chose to remain my friend, which I have now come to terms with. It’s fine. Now I am in a relationship with Greg, he’s wonderful and I no longer care about Alex in that way at all whatsoever! So that’s all I have to say about that, thank you very much! I am over Alex, he is not interested in me and now I am in love with Greg! So there!
Greg: Well … thank you
