I’m sure he’s a fabulous friend and I’m sure he always says sweet and wonderful things to you. But he’s not here. He’s thousands of miles away, working as a doctor in a great big hospital and he lives in a fancy apartment with his fancy doctor fiancée. I don’t think he’s thinking of leaving that life anytime soon to come back to a single mother who’s living in a tiny flat working in a crappy part-time job in a paperclip factory with a crazy friend who emails her every second. So stop waiting and move on. Live your life.
Rosie: I am not waiting.
Ruby: Rosie—
Rosie: I have to get back to work now.
Rosie has logged off.
Dear Rosie and Katie Dunne,
Shelly and Bernard Gruber proudly invite you to the marriage ceremony of their loving daughter, Sally, to Alex Stewart.
From Stephanie
To Rosie
Subject Re: No way in the world I’m going to that wedding!
I am so angered by your last letter! You cannot miss Alex’s wedding! That would be completely unthinkable!
This is Alex we’re talking about! Alex, the boy who used to sleep on a sleeping bag on your floor, the boy who used to sneak into my room and read my diary and look through my underwear drawer! Little Alex who you used to chase down the road and shoot at with a banana for a gun! Alex who sat beside you in class for twelve years!
He was there for you when you had Katie. He was so supportive throughout the entire thing when I’m sure it was difficult for him to adjust to the fact that little Rosie, who had slept in a sleeping bag on his floor, was having a baby.
Go over to him, Rosie. Celebrate this with him. Share in his happiness and excitement. Share it all with Katie. Be happy! Please! I’m sure he needs you right now. This is a huge step for him and he needs his best friend by his side. Learn to get to know Sally too, as she is an important person in his life now. Just as he has learned to get to know Katie – the most important person in your life. I know you don’t want to hear it, but if you don’t go you will be ending what was once and what still is one of the strongest bonds of friendship that I have ever seen.
I know you are embarrassed by what happened a few years ago when you visited, but swallow your pride, hold your chin up. You are going to be at that wedding because Alex wants you to be there for him; you are going to be there because you need to be there for yourself.
Make the right decision, Rosie.
Dear Rosie,
Hey there! I have no doubt you have received our wonderful wedding invitation that took Sally about three months to choose. Why, I don’t know, but it seems that a cream-coloured invite with a gold border was so much more different than a white invite with a gold border … you women …
I don’t no if I should be worried or not, but Sally’s mom hasn’t seemed to have received a reply yet! Now I no I don’t need one from you because I’m just presuming you will be there!
The reason why I am writing and not ringing is because I want to give you time to think about what I’m asking you. Myself and Sally would be honoured if you would allow Katie to be our flower girl at the wedding. We would need to no quite soon so that Sally and Katie can pick out a dress.
Whoever thought this would be happening, Rosie? If someone had told us ten years ago that your daughter would be a flower girl at my wedding we would have just laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Even though it has taken Sally and me so long to get round to actually getting married – what with doctors’ mad schedules ruling our lives!
The second question I have to ask you is the one I’m sure you will need to think about. You are my best friend, Rosie; that goes without saying. I have no best friend over here, no one that measures up to what you mean to me, therefore I have no best man. Will you be my best woman? Will you stand beside me at the altar? I no I will definitely need you there! And I trust you will organise a better stag night than any of my male friends over here!
Think about it and let me no. And say yes!
Love to you and Katie,
Alex
You have an instant message from: ROSIE.
Rosie: You won’t fucking believe it.
Ruby: You got a date.
Rosie: No, more unbelievable than that. Alex has asked me to be his ‘best woman’.
Ruby: I don’t suppose that means you’ll be standing to the left of him in the church?
Rosie: Eh, no … to the right.
Ruby: What about his brother?
Rosie: He’s an usher or something.
Ruby: Wow, so he really is going ahead with it?
Rosie: Yep. Looks like it.
Ruby: I think you should stop waiting for him now, honey.
Rosie: I know. I probably should.
My ‘best woman’ speech.
Good evening, everyone. My name is Rosie and, as you can see, Alex has decided to go down the non-traditional route of asking me to be his best woman for the day. Except we all know that today that title does not belong to me. It belongs to Sally, for she is clearly his best woman.
I could call myself the ‘best friend’, but I think we all know that today that no longer refers to me either. That title too belongs to Sally.
But what doesn’t belong to Sally is a lifetime of memories of Alex the child, Alex the teenager and Alex the almost-a-man that I’m sure he would rather forget but that I will now fill you all in on. (Hopefully they will laugh.)
I have known Alex since he was five years old. I arrived on my first day of school teary-eyed and red-nosed and half an hour late. (I am almost sure Alex will shout out, ‘What’s new?’) I was ordered to sit down at the back of the class beside a smelly, snotty-nosed, messy-haired little boy who had the biggest sulk on his face and who refused to look at me or talk to me. I hated this little boy.
I know that he hated me too, him kicking me in the shins under the table and telling the teacher that I was copying his school work was a tell-tale sign. We sat beside each other every day for twelve years, moaning about school, moaning about girlfriends and boyfriends, wishing we were older and wiser and out of school, dreaming of a life where we wouldn’t have double maths on a Monday morning.
Now Alex has that life and I’m so proud of him. I’m so happy that he’s found his best woman and his best friend in perfect little brainy and annoying Sally.
I ask you all to raise your glasses and toast my best friend, Alex, and his new best friend, best woman and wife, Sally,
