style="font-size:15px;"> What a stupid question!! Of course I found a man. I’m insulted you even needed to ask …
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Mystery man
Then who is it?
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Secret man
That would be absolutely none of your business.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Invisible man
HA! You didn’t find a date!! I knew it!
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Big strong man
Yes I did.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject No man
No you didn’t.
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Yes, man!
Yes I did.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject What man?
THEN WHO IS IT?
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Almost a man
Brian.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Brian?
BRIAN? BRIAN THE WHINE?
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Re: Brian?
Maybe …
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject HA HA!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you’re going to the debs with Brian the Whine?! Talk about scraping the barrel! Brian who lifted your skirt when you were six, in front of everyone in the school yard, to reveal your knickers? The Brian you were stuck sitting beside for all of second class, who ate fish sandwiches every day for lunch and picked his nose while you ate your sandwiches? The Brian who followed us home from school everyday singing ‘Rosie and Alex up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?’ and made you cry and ignore me for a week? The Brian who spilled his beer all down your new top at my going-away party? The Brian you absolutely can’t stand and was the one person you actually hated all throughout school? And now you’re going to the last school dance ever, with Brian?
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject No, the other Brian
Yes, Alex, that Brian. Now may I ask that you please stop emailing me as my darling mother is currently tying knots in my head trying to make me look half decent? She has also been reading your emails and wants you to know that Brian the Whine won’t be lifting up my skirt tonight.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Re: Brian
Well, it won’t be for lack of trying. Have fun! May I suggest that you wear your beer goggles tonight?
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Re: Beer goggles
The beer goggles will be well and truly on! Brian was the only person I could get last minute, thanks to you. All I have to do is stand in with him for the photos so that Mum and Dad can have lovely memories of their daughter going to the debs all dressed up with a man in a tuxedo. The tables seat ten so I won’t even have to talk to him at dinner. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, Alex?
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Re: Re: Beer goggles
Not really. I’d love to be there instead. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do …
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Re: Re: Re: Beer goggles
Well, that doesn’t rule out much. Hair’s done now, have to get the rest of me ready. I’ll let you know how it went tomorrow.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Debs
How were the debs last night? No doubt you’re nursing a hangover. I’ll wait to hear from you tomorrow but I’ll wait no longer! I want to know everything!
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Debs
Did you get my last email? I keep calling and there’s no answer. What’s up? I hope you’re busy preparing for the big move over to me! Email me soon, please.
Steph: Rosie, stop avoiding Alex and tell him how the debs went. Alex is even emailing me wondering what happened, and I’m certainly not going to tell him! The poor guy missed out and all he wants to know is who did what, where and when.
Rosie: Well, I certainly won’t be telling him who did who.
Steph: Ha ha.
Rosie: It’s not funny.
Steph: I think it’s hilarious. Come on, it’s been three weeks now!
Rosie: Are you sure it’s three weeks?
Steph: Yeah, why?
Rosie: Holy shit.
Rosie has logged off.
From Alex
To
