that I think he cannot be quite well.
miss prism
[Drawing herself up.] Your guardian enjoys the best of health, and his gravity of demeanour is especially to be commended in one so comparatively young as he is. I know no one who has a higher sense of duty and responsibility.
cecily
I suppose that is why he often looks a little bored when we three are together.
miss prism
Cecily! I am surprised at you. Mr. Worthing has many troubles in his life. Idle merriment and triviality would be out of place in his conversation. You must remember his constant anxiety about that unfortunate young man his brother.
·57· cecily
I wish Uncle Jack would allow that unfortunate young man, his brother, to come down here sometimes. We might have a good influence over him, Miss Prism. I am sure you certainly would. You know German, and geology, and things of that kind influence a man very much. [Cecily begins to write in her diary.]
miss prism
[Shaking her head.] I do not think that even I could produce any effect on a character that according to his own brother’s admission is irretrievably weak and vacillating. Indeed I am not sure that I would desire to reclaim him. I am not in favour of this modern mania for turning bad people into good people at a moment’s notice. As a man sows so let him reap. You must put away your diary, Cecily. I really don’t see why you should keep a diary at all.
cecily
I keep a diary in order to enter the wonderful secrets of my life. If I didn’t write them down I should probably forget all about them.
miss prism
Memory, my dear Cecily, is the diary that we all carry about with us.
cecily
Yes, but it usually chronicles the things that have ·58· never happened, and couldn’t possibly have happened. I believe that Memory is responsible for nearly all the three-volume novels that Mudie sends us.
miss prism
Do not speak slightingly of the three-volume novel, Cecily. I wrote one myself in earlier days.
cecily
Did you really, Miss Prism? How wonderfully clever you are! I hope it did not end happily? I don’t like novels that end happily. They depress me so much.
miss prism
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.
cecily
I suppose so. But it seems very unfair. And was your novel ever published?
miss prism
Alas! no. The manuscript unfortunately was abandoned. I use the word in the sense of lost or mislaid. To your work, child, these speculations are profitless.
cecily
[Smiling.] But I see dear Dr. Chasuble coming up through the garden.
·59· miss prism
[Rising and advancing.] Dr. Chasuble! This is indeed a pleasure.
[Enter Canon Chasuble.]
chasuble
And how are we this morning? Miss Prism, you are, I trust, well?
cecily
Miss Prism has just been complaining of a slight headache. I think it would do her so much good to have a short stroll with you in the Park, Dr. Chasuble.
miss prism
Cecily, I have not mentioned anything about a headache.
cecily
No, dear Miss Prism, I know that, but I felt instinctively that you had a headache. Indeed I was thinking about that, and not about my German lesson, when the Rector came in.
chasuble
I hope Cecily, you are not inattentive.
cecily
Oh, I am afraid I am.
·60· chasuble
That is strange. Were I fortunate enough to be Miss Prism’s pupil, I would hang upon her lips. [Miss Prism glares.] I spoke metaphorically.—My metaphor was drawn from bees. Ahem! Mr. Worthing I suppose, has not returned from town yet?
miss prism
We do not expect him till Monday afternoon.
chasuble
Ah yes, he usually likes to spend his Sunday in London. He is not one of those whose sole aim is enjoyment, as, by all accounts, that unfortunate young man his brother seems to be. But I must not disturb Egeria and her pupil any longer.
miss prism
Egeria? My name is Lætitia, Doctor.
chasuble
[Bowing.] A classical allusion merely, drawn from the Pagan authors. I shall see you both no doubt at Evensong?
miss prism
I think, dear Doctor, I will have a stroll with you. I find I have a headache after all, and a walk might do it good.
·61· chasuble
With pleasure, Miss Prism, with pleasure. We might go as far as the schools and back.
miss prism
That would be delightful. Cecily, you will read your Political Economy in my absence. The chapter on the Fall of the Rupee you may omit. It is somewhat too sensational. Even these metallic problems have their melodramatic side.
[Goes down the garden with Dr. Chasuble.]
cecily
[Picks up books and throws them back on table.] Horrid Political Economy! Horrid Geography! Horrid, horrid German!
[Enter Merriman with a card on a salver.]
merriman
Mr. Ernest Worthing has just driven over from the station. He has brought his luggage with him.
cecily
[Takes the card and reads it.] “Mr. Ernest Worthing, B. 4 The Albany, W.” Uncle Jack’s brother! Did you tell him Mr. Worthing was in town?
·62· merriman
Yes,
