this is the last time I shall ever do it. [Shakes hands with Algernon and glares.]
chasuble
It’s pleasant, is it not, to see so perfect a reconciliation? I think we might leave the two brothers together.
miss prism
Cecily, you will come with us.
cecily
Certainly, Miss Prism. My little task of reconciliation is over.
chasuble
You have done a beautiful action to-day, dear child.
miss prism
We must not be premature in our judgments.
·80· cecily
I feel very happy. [They all go off.]
jack
You young scoundrel, Algy, you must get out of this place as soon as possible. I don’t allow any Bunburying here.
[Enter Merriman.]
merriman
I have put Mr. Ernest’s things in the room next to yours, sir. I suppose that is all right?
jack
What?
merriman
Mr. Ernest’s luggage, sir. I have unpacked it and put it in the room next to your own.
jack
His luggage?
merriman
Yes, sir. Three portmanteaus, a dressing-case, two hat-boxes, and a large luncheon-basket.
algernon
I am afraid I can’t stay more than a week this time.
·81· jack
Merriman, order the dog-cart at once. Mr. Ernest has been suddenly called back to town.
merriman
Yes, sir. [Goes back into the house.]
algernon
What a fearful liar you are, Jack. I have not been called back to town at all.
jack
Yes, you have.
algernon
I haven’t heard anyone call me.
jack
Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.
algernon
My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my pleasures in the smallest degree.
jack
I can quite understand that.
algernon
Well, Cecily is a darling.
·82· jack
You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don’t like it.
algernon
Well, I don’t like your clothes. You look perfectly ridiculous in them. Why on earth don’t you go up and change? It is perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for a man who is actually staying for a whole week with you in your house as a guest. I call it grotesque.
jack
You are certainly not staying with me for a whole week as a guest or anything else. You have got to leave … by the four-five train.
algernon
I certainly won’t leave you so long as you are in mourning. It would be most unfriendly. If I were in mourning you would stay with me, I suppose. I should think it very unkind if you didn’t.
jack
Well, will you go if I change my clothes?
algernon
Yes, if you are not too long. I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.
·83· jack
Well, at any rate, that is better than being always over-dressed as you are.
algernon
If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.
jack
Your vanity is ridiculous, your conduct an outrage, and your presence in my garden utterly absurd. However, you have got to catch the four-five, and I hope you will have a pleasant journey back to town. This Bunburying, as you call it, has not been a great success for you.
[Goes into the house.]
algernon
I think it has been a great success. I’m in love with Cecily, and that is everything.
[Enter Cecily at the back of the garden. She picks up the can and begins to water the flowers.]
But I must see her before I go, and make arrangements for another Bunbury. Ah, there she is.
cecily
Oh, I merely came back to water the roses. I thought you were with Uncle Jack.
·84· algernon
He’s gone to order the dog-cart for me.
cecily
Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?
algernon
He’s going to send me away.
cecily
Then have we got to part?
algernon
I am afraid so. It’s a very painful parting.
cecily
It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable.
algernon
Thank
