Merriman.]
merriman
The dog-cart is at the door, sir. [Algernon looks appealingly at Cecily.]
·85· cecily
It can wait, Merriman … for … five minutes.
merriman
Yes, Miss. [Exit Merriman.]
algernon
I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.
cecily
I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If you will allow me I will copy your remarks into my diary. [Goes over to table and begins writing in diary.]
algernon
Do you really keep a diary? I’d give anything to look at it. May I?
cecily
Oh no. [Puts her hand over it.] You see, it is simply a very young girl’s record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for publication. When it appears in volume form I hope you will order a copy. But pray, Ernest, don’t stop. I delight in taking down from dictation. I have reached “absolute perfection.” You can go on. I am quite ready for more.
·86· algernon
[Somewhat taken aback.] Ahem! Ahem!
cecily
Oh, don’t cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don’t know how to spell a cough. [Writes as Algernon speaks.]
algernon
[Speaking very rapidly.] Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.
cecily
I don’t think that you should tell me that you love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it?
algernon
Cecily!
[Enter Merriman.]
merriman
The dog-cart is waiting, sir.
·87· algernon
Tell it to come round next week, at the same hour.
merriman
[Looks at Cecily, who makes no sign.] Yes, sir.
[Merriman retires.]
cecily
Uncle Jack would be very much annoyed if he knew you were staying on till next week, at the same hour.
algernon
Oh, I don’t care about Jack. I don’t care for anybody in the whole world but you. I love you, Cecily. You will marry me, won’t you?
cecily
You silly boy! Of course. Why, we have been engaged for the last three months.
algernon
For the last three months?
cecily
Yes, it will be exactly three months on Thursday.
algernon
But how did we become engaged?
·88· cecily
Well, ever since dear Uncle Jack first confessed to us that he had a younger brother who was very wicked and bad, you of course have formed the chief topic of conversation between myself and Miss Prism. And of course a man who is much talked about is always very attractive. One feels there must be something in him after all. I daresay it was foolish of me, but I fell in love with you, Ernest.
algernon
Darling! And when was the engagement actually settled?
cecily
On the 14th of February last. Worn out by your entire ignorance of my existence, I determined to end the matter one way or the other, and after a long struggle with myself I accepted you under this dear old tree here. The next day I bought this little ring in your name, and this is the little bangle with the true lovers’ knot I promised you always to wear.
algernon
Did I give you this? It’s very pretty, isn’t it?
cecily
Yes, you’ve wonderfully good taste, Ernest. It’s the excuse I’ve always given for your leading such ·89· a bad life. And this is the box in which I keep all your dear letters. [Kneels at table, opens box, and produces letters tied up with blue ribbon.]
algernon
My letters! But my own sweet Cecily, I have never written you any letters.
cecily
You need hardly remind me of that, Ernest. I remember only too well that I was forced to write your letters for you. I wrote always three times a week, and sometimes oftener.
algernon
Oh, do let me read them, Cecily?
cecily
Oh, I couldn’t possibly. They would make you far too conceited. [Replaces box.] The three you wrote me after I had broken off the engagement are so beautiful, and so badly spelled, that even now I can hardly read them without crying a little.
algernon
But was our engagement ever broken off?
cecily
Of course it was. On the 22nd of last March. You can see the entry if you like. [Shows diary.] ·90· “To-day I broke off my engagement with Ernest. I feel it is better to do so. The weather still continues charming.”
algernon
But why on earth did you break it off? What had I done? I had done nothing at all. Cecily, I am very much hurt indeed to hear you broke it off. Particularly when the weather was so charming.
cecily
It would hardly have been a really serious engagement if it hadn’t been broken off at least once. But I forgave you before the week was out.
algernon
