read just about anything to your baby—even War and Peace or those New Yorker profiles you’re so behind on. The goal at this stage isn’t to actually teach him anything; it’s simply to get him used to the sounds and rhythms of language and to have him start associating reading with calm, quiet, and security. So try to read to your baby every day and set up a regular time and place. And as with most baby-related things, he’ll let you know whether he’s interested or not, so don’t force him to sit through the end of a chapter. If he lasts over five minutes, that’s a lot.
If you feel like taking a break from reading, try a little singing instead. Infants love their dad’s deeper voice.
If you and your partner are fluent in different languages, and you want your baby to grow up speaking both, this is the time to start compartmentalizing them. What I mean is that you should establish some clear boundaries—English only with Daddy, Russian with Mommy, French with the babysitter—and stick with them. We’ll talk more about this throughout the book.
Toys and Games
Giving your baby a rattle, stuffed animal, or anything else that needs to be grasped is a total waste of time at this stage. He simply isn’t interested in toys right now. That doesn’t mean, however, that he doesn’t want to play. In fact, if you pay close attention, he’ll actually “tell” you when he’s ready for some fun and games. It’ll probably happen during the active alert stage (see pages 26–27): your baby will catch and hold your eye and make some kind of non-crying noise—possibly a coo or a squeal.
At this point, it’s important that you maintain eye contact with the baby and respond by mimicking the sound he made and adding some excited sounds and facial expressions of your own. Researchers have found that this type of “conversation” increases infants’ brain activity and promotes growth. Oh, and it’s fun too.
It’s also very important that you learn to recognize the clues your baby gives you when he wants to quit. He’ll start by turning his head or body away, and if you ignore the message, he’ll escalate to squirming, minor fussiness, and eventually, crying or screaming.
“You have the right to remain silent…”
Visual Stimulation
Since your baby still isn’t capable of grabbing or holding on to much of anything, he’s doing most of his learning with his eyes. Here are a few ways to stimulate your baby visually:
• Fasten an unbreakable mirror securely to the inside of the baby’s crib.
• Make sure the baby has a lot of different things to look at. For the first few months, infants are particularly responsive to high contrast. Black-and-white toys and patterns are popular, but anything with high contrast will be a big hit.
• Have your baby show you what he prefers. Hold up different patterns 12–18 inches from his face for a few seconds. Which ones does he stare at intently? Which ones does he turn away from?
• Play some visual tracking games. With the baby on his back, hold a small object 12–18 inches from his nose. Move the object slowly to one side. Does he follow the object with his eyes? Does he move his head? Do the same thing for the other side.
Whatever you’re doing, pay attention to the baby’s mood and don’t play any longer than 5 minutes unless he really wants to. Your baby is not a trained seal, and these activities are games, not college entrance exams.
Mobiles
Mobiles are among the most popular furnishings in almost any baby’s room. And this is the perfect time to put some up: one over the bed and perhaps another, smaller one over the changing table. When considering mobiles, keep these ideas in mind:
• Get the kind of mobiles that allow you to change the figures. As your baby gets older, his taste will become more sophisticated and you’ll need to keep up. My wife and I found that mobile characters were quite expensive; we could have bought a year’s worth of clothes for the baby with what it would have cost us to buy five or six sets of mobile characters. The solution? Unleash the artist inside you and make your own.
• When buying or making mobile characters, keep in mind that the baby will be looking at them from underneath. Quite a number of manufacturers produce mobiles that are gorgeous when viewed from the parents’ perspective, but from the baby’s perspective they’re essentially blank.
• Your baby is still interested in simple lines: stripes, large squares, and the outlines of things. Intricate patterns or complicated designs aren’t appropriate yet.
• Keep the mobile 6–18 inches above the baby’s face but slightly to the side; babies don’t like to look straight up for long.
Exploring Your Baby’s Reflexes
“The newborn is faced with two fundamental and simultaneous challenges during the first weeks of life,” writes child psychiatrist Stanley I. Greenspan. “The first is self-regulation—the ability to feel calm and relaxed, not overwhelmed by his new environment. The second is to become interested in the world about him.”
Unfortunately, babies can’t do much to accomplish either of these goals on their own. That’s your job. And you’ll do it by caring for and responding to your baby, and by providing him with a stimulating environment. But because your baby can’t be expected to sit around waiting for you, he came fully equipped with a wide range of reflexes (see pages 60–61) to get him started. Yes, all that wild, seemingly random arm and leg flailing really has a purpose.
Your baby’s reflexes are normal, involuntary actions. Some happen by themselves, others are triggered by outside events or stimuli. Because they come and go in a fairly predictable pattern, your pediatrician will track their presence and strength as a way to assess your baby’s growth and development (reflexes that are asymmetrical, don’t appear at all, disappear too quickly, or hang around longer than they’re supposed to may indicate a problem, and could lead to developmental delays).
In addition to these reflexes, your baby also came with some self-protection features. For example, if he sees an object coming straight at him, he’ll take defensive action—leaning back hard, turning away, closing his eyes, bringing his arms up in front of his face, and possibly trying to wriggle out of the way. Incredibly, if the object isn’t on a collision course, he’ll ignore it. If you want to try this, strap your baby into his car seat and, from a few feet away, move a ball or other fairly large object straight at his head and again past him.
Similarly, if you cover your baby’s face (be very, very careful when doing this), he’ll open and close his mouth, twist his head, and flail his little arms in an attempt to keep from suffocating.
Turning your baby into a science project by exploring his reflexes can teach you a lot about infant behavior, plus it’s a fun way for you to get to know your baby better by connecting with him physically. The best time to do your experimenting is during his active alert stage (see pages 26–27). Three warnings: limit playing with the reflexes that frighten your baby, be extra careful with his head, and respect his desire to quit.
| Fun with Reflexes |
| 👍 (thumb up) = okay to play with |
| 👎
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