hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe’ s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
And so the logical conclusion from this is that it probably wasn’t the same elephant.
10.
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds
Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis. If your answer is:
Lion = you’re dull.
Chimpanzee = you’re a moron.
Giraffe = you’re a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you’re just hopelessly stupid.
Because ——————-
A coconut tree doesn’t have bananas.
11.
My Favorite Animal – Little boy in class
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right because everyone else in the class laughed.
My daddy and mama told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of some animal group that loves animals very much. I do, too, especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office again. He laughed again and told me not to do it again.
I don’t understand. My daddy and momma taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”
Guess where I am now...???
ARMY
1.
Two guys joined the army and decided to get in the paratroopers.
They were about to jump for the first time and were really scared.
The instructor was trying to reassure them.
“Look,” he said, “all you have to do is count to ten and pull the cord and the chute will open but if it fails to open, count to five and pull the emergency cord and the other chute will open Then, when you touch down, the truck will come around and pick all of you up.”
They listened carefully but were still scared.
The day came for the jump. They climbed in the plane and the instructor went over the plans again trying to encourage them.————-but when it came time to jump they were so scared that he had to push them out.
On the way down they counted to ten and each one pulled his cord————- but neither chute opened.———— then they counted to five and pulled the emergency and only one chute opened.
The guy whose chute didn’t open hollered as he went by, “That’s just like the army ————-nothing works right and they’ll probably forget to have the truck pick us up, too!”
2.
The paratrooper was so scared about jumping that every time he thought about it he would stutter.
They kept reassuring him but he would answer, “I j-j-j-just don’t know if everything’s gonna w-w-w-work.”
The day came for the first jump. He was still nervous. The drill instructor told him, “Now don’t worry. Just count to ten, pull the cord and everything will be O.K.” The private answered, “well, I h-h-h-h-hope so. ‘
Everybody jumped one by one. The nervous guy was last. He jumped. All the chutes opened and they were floating down when they heard the private whizz by. His chute hadn’t opened yet and he was hollering.” “f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-five.”
3.
During the war some of the GI’s had hired a young
man to cook for them. They called him Charlie.
He did a good job, but they loved to play practical jokes on him. They would grease the handles on his pots, put water above the door to splash him and a lot of other things.————- They had a great time———————- but he didn’t!
One day, as the GI’s were talking, they decided that they had been giving him such a rough time that they ought to let up. They sent one of the guys to talk to him. “Charley,” he said, “we have been thinking about it and have decided that we have been playing too many tricks on you and we are going to stop it.”
Charley looked surprised. He asked, ”Are you really going to stop greasing the handles, putting water over the doors and doing all the other things?”
“Yep,” said the GI. Charley was really touched and with tears in his eyes he answered, “Well, if you do all that for Charley, then Charley no more spit in the soup.”
4.
Johnny was fighting with the Americans against the Germans. They were in the trenches in France and everything was calm. As he was sitting there, he heard someone from the German side call ”Johnny, Johnny.” He sat up and listened. He heard it again, “Johnny, Johnny.”
Johnny hollered back, “Yeah,
