Be Bully Free. Catherine Thornton L.
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#20 Mazie – who has a modified image of her posted online
Type: Cyber
#21 Liz – who suffers from constant pranks
Type: Covert
#22 Petra – who is laughed at because of her cultural heritage
Type: Covert
#23 Sally – who is taunted and teased on the bus
Type: Overt
#24 Max – who is the butt of others’ jokes and pranks
Type: Overt/Covert
#25 Steve – who is bullied because they identify as transgender
Type: Overt
#26 Brittany – who experiences homophobic bullying
Type: Overt/Cyber
Sleeping
Anxiety
Nutrition
Exercise
Assertiveness
Meditation and Relaxation
Self-Talk
So You Think You’re a Bully?
Bullying in Schools
A Note for Parents
Moving On
Further Information
About the Authors
Introduction
You’re here. That’s good. Really good. You have made a powerful first step to rid your life, or someone else’s life, of bullying. Thank you.
Bullying. It’s probably more common than you think. Research suggests that between one in four to one in six students are directly affected by bullying at school in any week. Let’s round that out to one in five or 20% of school students. That’s four to six students from your average-sized classroom of 24 pupils. In primary schools, in secondary schools, in private and Catholic schools, in state schools, in single-sex schools, in co-ed schools, in the city, in the country. Small or large, it doesn’t seem to matter. It’s there and it’s happening.
More frightening still is that over 80% of the students in one of those classrooms are aware of the bullying taking place. They are the bystanders. That’s a lot of bystanders. A lot of people who can help. If we can get the people who are standing by and watching to step in – to become ‘insteppers’ rather than remain bystanders – then we will be on the way to breaking the powerful culture of bullying that exists in so many classrooms, in so many schools.
So why are people bullied? It’s a tough question to answer but maybe it goes something like this. There is a kind of social order when people are bunched together, especially groups of kids. Some people may see you as different – hey, maybe you have red hair, or maybe your skin colour is not the most common skin colour in your school, or perhaps you’re super brainy at maths. Do you speak in a slightly different way than most others? You’re wearing those shoes? OMG, I can’t believe she said that. You get the idea? The bullying that goes on is often an attempt to reaffirm social order. Some people are a little threatened by others who are different so they want to set things straight. They want the order of things to remain stable. Putting someone down is a bully’s way of ensuring that they stay on top, that they keep their elevated status in terms of social order. Of course, it’s a lot more complex than that and there are all sorts of other reasons why people bully. Sometimes people don’t even know they are actually bullying someone. Their behaviour might stem from how they were brought up and relate to role models in their family. It’s who they are.
The good news is that there are a number of ways to deal with bullying. Some will suit you better than others, depending on the type of person you are. That’s okay. Actually, reading the strategies that accompany each of the scenarios or stories will help you get a better sense of the sort of person you are and therefore what strategies will work.
Dealing with bullying can be tough; it can be painful; it can hurt. It can hurt more than the actual bullying. That’s because you’re dragging the bullying out of a dark corner and bringing it into the light. And you’re bringing yourself into the light also. And that’s not an easy thing to do for some people. It would be so much easier just to ignore it, pretend it’s not happening.
For some of you it’s going to be really hard to do what’s required to move beyond the bullying situation. But that’s not a reason to not give it a go. By allowing it to continue you are defining yourself as a victim and perhaps setting a tone for yourself that will stay with you forever. You’re reading this book so already you’re trying to set a different tone. A different you. A stronger, more forthright you. A person better in touch with what you believe in, what you hold strong to. A person willing to stand up for yourself and not tolerate bullying in any form.
One more thing. Sometimes there isn’t a happy ending. It’s not always going to be hugs and kisses and make up and everything now is just so perfect.
In this book you will find dozens of answers and suggestions, examples and ideas, tips and definitions. But the ultimate answer